Green Light
by Anwa
Summary: Luke looked at Lorelai, then back to their position, then back at Lorelai, and finally said, “How’d that happen?”. An alternate look at the events of ‘That Damn Donna Reed’ 1.14
1. This is New

_Alright, so haven't even finished the other one, and I'm already replacing it. lol. This is my long awaited java junkie all-out story. I know I said I would try not to do one of those alternate endings to episodes, but the events in 'That Damn Donna Reed' were just too good to pass up. So, yeah, I caved. _

_Enjoy._

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**Green Light  
**_"Let us go get the shit kicked out of us by love."  
(Sam, Love Actually)_

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The whole thing had happened so fast. One second they were just drinking beers and talking paint samples, the next thing Lorelai Gilmore knew, she was on the floor with her tongue down the local diner owner's mouth. Granted, he wasn't just any old diner owner, it was Luke, but the whole her having her tongue down Luke's throat thing was kinda hard to grasp from where she was standing. Erm—umm—laying. 

With a slightly more clear train of thought towards the repercussions of such actions, and the fact that half the town was outside and had cameras with them, she pulled away from him.

"Luke?" She asked, breathlessly, "We're we just," she looked into his eyes, "Oh wow."

"Erm—wow, yeah, I think we just—umm—were," he said uncomfortably. "How'd that happen?" He looked around them, both tucked behind the counter.

"Hey, could you maybe—umm," she pointed her finger up. Some time, in their heated make-out session, he'd ended up on top of her with her top half-off and his hands on her stomach ready to tackle the second half.

"Oh," he turned slightly red, "Sorry," he lifted himself off of her and just rolled off to the opposite side. "So," he started, "That was different."

"Yeah," Lorelai smiled, "And definitely not paint oriented."

"Nope."

"So," Lorelai tried casually, as she pulled her shirt back down to its normal placement. "This is new."

"Yep," Luke kept his eyes trained up on the ceiling. After a slight pause he added, a lot less conformably but trying to act nonchalantly, "We can just forget about this, y'know. If you want to. Just go back to our junkie and dealer roles, that seems to work for us."

"I don't think I can." Lorelai said as she rolled onto her side facing Luke, "That was a great kiss," she placed her hand on the other side of his face, then pulled it towards her, "A really great kiss."

"Yeah?"

"Like if you were a frog that would have had some serious consequences kiss," she continued as they slowly closed off the already small amount of space between them.

"You don't say," he breathed out, their faces merely millimeters apart. Lorelai smiled as he leaned in the rest of the way, capturing her lips with his own again.

Thinking was overrated anyways.

And right now, in that moment, all she wanted to do was to kiss him senseless. And kissing him seemed to be a good start towards getting to the senseless part.

As the kiss deepened with intensity, Lorelai found herself climbing on top of Luke this time, knocking over one of the forgotten beer bottles in the process. Maybe she was drunk. Maybe they both were. But she didn't care.

She just couldn't stop thinking about why they hadn't been doing this all along.

"Luke!" Taylor tapped on the windows, causing both parties to rip apart in surprise. "Lorelai?" He tried again, continuing the same, annoying tapping noise, "I know you're both in there! You can't hide from us forever you know!"

Luke banged his head down against the floor, "I'm gonna kill him. I'm just gonna take my tool box and hit him over the head with it."

Lorelai laughed quietly, letting her head fall comfortably down onto his chest. "I don't think the town would mind. Hell, you'd probably be the town hero for that." She didn't fail to notice how nicely it fit there. And she had a sinking feeling he didn't either.

"Don't think I can't hear you two talking!" Taylor scolded, "I may not be able to hear just what, but I know you're both in there!"

Luke placed his hand on the back of her head, stroking her hair casually as they both laid there. "How long do you think it will take before he goes away this time?"

"I don't know. Probably never. He'll organize a steak out."

"That helped."

"So, Luke," she tried to sound casual, "While I got you here," she smiled, "What are we going to do about this."

"About what?"

"About our plot to kill Taylor. You think the town will go for it? We can hold a secret meeting and see how they feel about it if you're really that unsure," she deadpanned.

"Oh, about this," he pointed his finger between the two of them, "You mean."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Well, you wanna do something about this?"

"I don't know," she sighed out, "I mean the kiss, erm—kisses, were amazing. Like foot-popping amazing. But what about, y'know, our friendship?"

"Well, I think we've successfully ruined that."

"Well do you want to give this a try?" Lorelai asked, "Give us a try?" She corrected herself. 'This' was used when you were thinking about switching your laundry detergents because the other one is cheaper plus you have a coupon. 'Us' was used in terms of relationships.

"Only if you want to," he supplied, never being one to go out on a limb by himself.

"Well, I want to only if you want to."

"Well, do you?"

"Do you?"

"Do you?"

"Do you?"

Luke sighed, "We gotta stop this. We could go for hours."

"I know," she sighed, "I just don't want to—I mean, you're one of my best friends and I—well I guess I just don't want to ruin that."

"Well, we could pretend like the kiss never happened. You know, if you want."

Lorelai left out a small chuckle, "God. There we go again."

"Well, it's up to you. Make a decision, now would you? Before Taylor gets half a brain and realizes that just because the diner door says closed, doesn't mean the doors are locked."

"Yeah," she answered, "But why does it have to be my decision?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Oh we are not doing that again!" Luke shouted, eliciting a chuckle from Lorelai. She pressed her finger on top of his lips, then with her other hand pointed towards Taylor's assumed general direction.

"Luke?" Taylor asked again from outside, "I heard that Luke!"

Both let out another soft chuckle at Taylor's expense. Lorelai dropped her hand from Luke's mouth, and rested it comfortably on his chest, just inches away from her head.

"He doesn't give up, does he?" Lorelai smiled.

"Apparently you've never met Taylor," Luke chuckled.

"So, back to the 'us' part of the conversation," Lorelai brought things back into focus, "The kiss, or should I say kisses, kinda prohibit continuing the established diner owner diner customer relationship, but,"

"Always a but," Luke said flatly.

"No, it's not that I don't want too, it's just," she paused, not sure how to explain it to him.

"Just what?"

She sighed, "I don't want to hurt you."

Luke let out another quiet chuckle, "Is that all?" He asked in an amused tone.

Lorelai hit him playfully on the chest, "What! Are you laughing at me? I'm trying to be serious here and you're laughing at me!"

"Lorelai, you won't hurt me."

"How do you know that. I've hurt a lot of people. And not just with my kickass Tae Bo skills. Cause I'm here to tell you folks that one class is totally enough to make you a breathing, walking, Tae Bo-ing machine."

"It's not like I'm made of glass or something, Lorelai. If we break up, we break up. I'll get over it, you'll eat a lot of ice cream and get over it, but I promise you, we'll both be okay. We'll be back to diner owner and diner customer in no time."

"I didn't mean to imply that you were made of glass or something."

"I know."

"Then why the reference?"

"So that you would know."

Lorelai smiled, "So, what now then?"

"I'm thinking blue for the walls with a white trim. Classic," Luke teased.

Lorelai hit him playfully on the chest again. She propped her head up so that she could face him, "You know what I meant."

Luke lifted his head up off the ground, "Yea. I know what you meant."

"I want this," she stated plainly. "Do you want this?"

He placed his arms around her waist, and pulled her up into another passionate kiss, this time with the intention of stopping within a few seconds.

When they broke apart again, both wearing the same goofy grin on their faces, Luke just said simply, "I want this."

"Really, cause I was worried there for a second that, that was a good-bye, nice knowin' ya kiss. Sorta 'here's lookin' at you kid' moment," she teased in her normal Lorelai-like fashion.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Romantic."

"Says the man that screamed 'finally' at the end of _Love Story_."

"What'd ya expect? Me to come out balling like you?"

"A little emotion never hurt anybody."

Luke just smiled, "Taylor's been quiet awhile. You think he's finally gone?"

Lorelai shrugged, "I donno, maybe. Why?"

"Because we're currently laying on my diner floor. There's got to be a health violation somewhere in this."

"In what? Laying on the floor?"

"Well, that and, I thought maybe we could go someplace where we didn't have to lay on the floor behind my counter," he nudged his head in the direction of the stairs to his apartment.

Lorelai raised her eyebrows, "And just what are you insinuating, Mr. Danes?"

Luke gave her a look, "Lorelai."

She sighed, and rested her head back down on his chest, "I really, really want too. You have no idea how much. I just, well, Rory's gonna wonder what we're doing, show up, and we don't need her finding out about this—us that way."

"And just what are you insinuating, Ms. Gilmore?" He shot her own comment back at her.

"Shut up. We're both adults here, stupid head."

"We're both adults here, stupid head," he repeated her words, "Huh. Not exactly the insult I would have chosen to end that sentence, but whatever works."

"I really do have to go."

"Then why are you still laying on top of me. I'm not stopping you."

"Well your hands are on my head and back, so,"

He lifted his hands off of her, "You're clear for take off."

She lifted her head back up, "Goodbye kiss?"

Luke smiled, "Of course." This time both of them leaned their heads in together, each meeting each other in another passionate, beginning of a relationship kiss. Screw the chaste 'see you later, and remember to pick up some more toilet paper' goodbye kiss that plagues the latter part of relationships, this was the full on 'meet me at midnight and will continue this' goodbye kiss. The good kind.

The perfect kind.

"I really do have to go," Lorelai breathed out after they broke apart again.

"I know," Luke said as she pulled her in for yet another kiss. It was like the blind leading the blind. Expect she knew a lot about kissing. You don't just know a little about kissing and get knocked up at sixteen. And he had probably been around the block a few times himself. But that was besides the point.

"Damn this is hard," Lorelai cursed when they finally ended the kiss.

Luke just smiled, "So, while you're stuck there,"

"I'm just under your spell or something," Lorelai butted in.

"What are we gonna tell the town?"

"Oh dammit," Lorelai groaned, "Stupid small town."

"Well?"

"Nothing," Lorelai stated simply.

"What?"

"We tell them nothing. It'll be like on _Friends_ when Monica and Chandler were sneaking around during season five, a brilliant season I might add."

"Hang on there. Chandler? What kind of a name is Chandler?"

"I don't know. They named him."

"Is that even a name?"

Lorelai nodded, "Yep. Me and Rory even looked it up one day, right at the start of our obsession."

Luke sighed, "So, a secret?"

Lorelai nodded, "A secret. Expect to Rory."

"Well of course, Rory is trustworthy."

"Oh, oh, and Sookie!"

"What about Jackson?" Luke pointed out, "Won't she tell Jackson, which will start the grapevine, and leave Miss Patty and/or Babette camping out in front of my diner."

Lorelai shrugged, "Eh. I guess your right. But when we finally come clean, you get to explain to Sookie why I couldn't tell her. Remember I wanted to tell her, but you wouldn't let me for fear of her telling Jackson. All on you, buddy."

"I'm willing to accept the consequences for you."

Lorelai smiled, "Wow. You're off to a good start."

"What can I say?"

"So, I was thinkin', well I guess thinkin' within these past couple of seconds but thinkin' nonetheless, Rory's spending the night at Babette and Morey's, house-sitting, which leaves me in the house all by my lonesome."

Luke raised his eyebrows, "And just what are you insinuating, Miss Gilmore?" He teased, stealing her line again from earlier.

Lorelai gave him a look, "Dirty. And I was wondering if you would like to have a movie night with me. We'll watch all the classics, eat tons of junk food," Luke gave her a look, "Well I'll eat tons of junk food and you'll pound down the carrot sticks, you wild child!"

"Sounds good. I'll bring some food too, that way I know something green will make it on to your table for once."

"Ahh, now you're off to a great start!" Lorelai congratulated him, before leaning down and giving him one more, slightly more chaste kiss. The other kisses hadn't gotten her far, might as well lower the rating a little for better results.

"See you later then?"

Lorelai nodded as she began the slow process of getting up off the floor, "Yea, show up around seven. That works for you, right?"

"Well seeing as how I am now officially Mr. Perfect Boyfriend, it works," he teased as he stood up. "I'll see you at seven then.

"Yep," Lorelai smiled, "Seven." They both nodded awkwardly, ignoring Taylor's angry calls from outside.

Luke nudged his head outside, "Well I guess we found out the question to that Taylor question, huh?" He laughed awkwardly.

Lorelai smiled, "Oh, you don't have to walk outside."

"I'm sorry."

"Eh, you'll make it up to me tonight."

"So, this whole secret thing? Still wanna do it?"

"Unless you want Babette and Miss Patty on your ass twenty four-seven," she pointed out, "So the random urge to PDA will just have to be ignored for a little while."

He nodded, "Yeah. You're right."

"Get used to it, buster," she teased. "Well, I can at least hug you, right?" She leaned in and gave him a friendly hug before he had a chance to argue.

"So, seven?"

Lorelai pulled away, "Yep. See you then." She smiled once more, before turning and walking out of the diner. Smiling like she had a hanger stuck in her mouth.

Not even Taylor could bring her down today.

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**Updates up ASAP.  
Please Review.**


	2. Emeril and Scarlett

_Wow. Twenty-one reivews and I posted this what? Last night? The days are starting to mesh together...eh, it's a sign of summer. You guys are so great! So, this chapter was up really fast because I already had it typed, no idea when the next one is going to be up, but I doubt it will be tomorrow. But never doubt my insomaic-tendencies. I could have another one done tonight! But I wouldn't count on it. _

_So, this fic is purely for fun. My most recent projects have all been so serious, and my funny bone has been and tingling away. More on that, though, in my profile. On to the thank-yous! _

_**Muffin Is Injured: **I agree with you about how Lorelai isn't emotionally ready, and I'm sure I've actually said that to some other people as well...but, who's counting, eh? But when I was comming up with different concepts for a java junkie fic (and it probably didn't help that I did watch that episode earlier that day), I just kept thinking about the events in this episode and the ones to follow and how everything was just so perfectly set up for drama for a Luke/Lorelai romance during that time. Cause Chris returns at the very end, then Rachel comes. Yaddy, yaddy, yadda. Thanks for the review. _

_**Rusty Bedsprings**: I said I'm always comming up with new ideas. My best work is done at around one or two in the morning (when this fic was created). lol. Thanks for the review, babe. _

_**S.D.: **Probably. Who knows? I tend to float from head to head. That's why I hate 1st person POV cause you really don't have much liberty with jumping between characters. Thanks for the review._

_Also thanks go out to: **Luke&Lorelai4ever, LLfreak8285, Once Upon a Whim, Kris, Biscuit, Beautifulbutterfly, StephieM, Sarah, Chouchoune, Jana, Baby Girl Geller-Green, BluEyedBeauty, LukeNlorelaifan, lisehrien, Katie, Chelsea, Franala, **and **Shannon.**_

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Lorelai bounded up her front porch steps and ran into her house, bursting at the seams. She had to tell Rory. Granted at this point she wanted to get a megaphone, ride through the town, and scream that she had kissed Luke and it was great, but then, after consideration she decided that number one it wouldn't be safe to drive and yell through a megaphone, number two Taylor would have her head for yelling in a megaphone in general (apparently she was loud enough, so why he ever got a megaphone was beyond her), and number three everyone would know and pester her about the new relationship. And Lorelai did not need any more pressure then what there already was. She wasn't exactly the greatest at relationships to begin with. But a relationship with one of your best friends? Tricky business.

But none of that really mattered at the moment. She was sure it would at some later date, but right now, all she wanted to do was tell Rory, then continue kissing Luke. It was like her new hobby or something. Kissing Luke.

"Rory!" She shouted into the house as she ripped open the door, "Rory! My child! Where art thou! Mommy has good news!" She shut the door behind her, no need for Babette to hear any of this, the woman maybe getting up there in years but she has amazing good hearing, and skipped towards Rory's bedroom.

"What's up, mom?" Rory asked as Lorelai skipped into the kitchen. She was just standing there next to a bird cage, shoving something that resembled food towards the bird.

Lorelai stopped skipping, "Ah, first, when did we get a bird, kiddo? How'd I miss that?"

"Oh, sorry, Stella's for a project at school. She's—or he's, I'm really not sure, just here for the weekend so I can do my research."

"Stella?"

"Yeah, so when I walk in to find her or something I can yell 'Stella!'. It was between that and Adrian. And I really wasn't in a Rocky mood," Rory explained casually, "Now, you must tell me your good news!"

Lorelai's hanger-smile returned, "Guess what happened to mommy today?"

"Umm, found your missing sock?"

"No, and I still claim the laundry sock monster ate it," Lorelai grinned, "Me and Luke kissed!" She said excitedly, "We kissed, Rory! It was so great! Ah! We kissed, we kissed!"

"No," Rory made out in disbelief, "Who kissed who? Was it romantic?" Then a thought stuck her, "Hey, weren't you supposed to painting? How's that romantic?"

"Well, we were behind the counter cause he was showing me this order that his dad took once and wrote on the wall, and then Taylor brought a bunch of people by, so we hid,"

"Naturally, continue."

"And then we checked to make sure they were good. Then there was this moment. And I don't know, the next thing I know where on the ground making out!"

"Wala. That's a lot of stuff to miss."

"I know, but that's besides the point. My point is that I am now officially dating Luke! We'll never have to pay for stuff at the diner again!" Lorelai started jumping up and down in excitement.

Rory joined her in the jumping, "I'm so happy for you guys! I can't wait to tell Lane!"

Lorelai stopped jumping, "Wait! Wait! Something I forgot to add in that sentence. I am now secretly dating Luke. News of this does not leave this house."

"But you're gonna tell Sookie, right?"

"Can't,"

Rory gasped, "No."

"She'll tell Jackson, and everyone knows Jackson can't keep a secret. He'll start the grapevine up, and then POW! We'll never be left alone again."

"Oh, come on, it won't be that bad,"

"You want Miss Patty cornering you and Dean, ruining that special moment when you two are batting your eyelashes going 'no you're prettier' and asking you to fill her in on the details of me and Luke. And she won't ask it like that. She'll ask you graphic questions that will scar you for eternity. Trust me. I'm the adult here and I couldn't handle some of her questions."

"You know what, Sookie will understand. We'll just distract her with something. A new Bangles CD."

"That's my kid!"

"So, can we jump again?"

Lorelai shrugged, "I don't see why not."

Rory smiled, and let out another happy little scream as they both began jumping up and down again. "This is so awesome!"

"I know! Mommy did good, huh?"

"Very good!"

They both stopped jumping for a moment, completely out of breath, "I think this is the most physical exercise we've had in years!" Lorelai commented with a laugh. "Let's not let word leak out."

"You're right, it would totally ruin our images."

"Totally." Lorelai gave Rory another look, and let out another happy little yell, signaling both girls to begin jumping again.

"LORELAI? RORY!" Babette yelled over their screaming and jumping, "You two okay in there?" She rapped on the back door a couple of times.

Lorelai and Rory stopped jumping again, both giving each other looks. "Ah, yea, Babette. We're good," Lorelai made out awkwardly.

Babette rushed through the door, frying pan in hand, "Oh good, cause I worry about you two some times. Two young girls living without male protection or even a locked door most days! And I just heard this screaming, and I just thought that I'd better get over there quick, y'know!"

Lorelai nodded, "No, no, we're fine. But, ah, thanks Babette. Those were happy yells."

"Oh? What's the good news?"

"Ah, Rory got an 'A' on her paper for her really hard Chilton class!" Lorelai spat out, "Isn't that great!" she gave Rory a look and both girls began jumping up and down again, although this time giving less ecstatic yells.

Babette smiled and began jumping with them, "That's so great, kiddo! We're all rootin' for ya to get into Harvard! And those A's will get you there!"

Rory gave her mother a look, but then proceeded to keep jumping in a circle with a clueless Babette.

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After Babette had, had her fill of jumping and congratulating (and a quick reminder about house-sitting that night), she finally left to go and share the "good news" with Morey. And then Miss Patty. Who would then get the newspaper to publish a story about Rory's giant leap towards Harvard, and how she did it while saving a bunch of helpless squirrels.

Lorelai and Rory just crashed on the couch, the jumping had filled their exercise quota for the next ten and a half years.

"So, you are okay with all of this then?" Lorelai repeated the same question she had been asking Rory repetitively for the past fifteen minutes or so.

Rory just gave her mother another look, "Are you sure you're okay with all of this?"

"What? Of course I'm okay! I just want to make sure that none of this will effect _you_ negatively. We've never really had a situation like this before. I mean, it's _Luke_."

"You're just noticing that?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "No, no, I noticed that. I just need to know that you are totally and one-hundred percent okay with the fact that I will be dating Luke."

"Do you really think that if I was okay with you dating my teacher that I would not be okay with you dating the guy you've had a hopeless crush on for years?"

"What! I so did not have a crush on him!"

"Oh, you did too!" Rory laughed, "Admit it! You liked Luke! Everybody knows that."

"I so did not have a crush on him. The kiss just happened, y'know, kinda like you happened. Just outta the blue, one second you're just walkin' around waiting for your Ferrari to arrive in the driveway, and the next thing you know, BAM! Something totally unexpected, but in the end really good, happens to you."

"I'd like to point out that I am the 'BAM' in that sentence, Emeril."

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Oh, get over it."

"But in all seriousness mom, I am completely fine with you secretly dating Luke," and then added with a sly grin, "And besides, now I will never be hungry again. No more lying, no more cheating, and I never had to resort to killing but it wasn't below me."

Lorelai picked up one of the pillows from the floors and smacked Rory's head with it. "A little over-dramatic, aren't we, Scarlett?"

Rory grabbed the pillow in an act of self-defense, "God as my witness."

"Well, in my defense, I have taught you many food-type things. Like never eat licorice and chocolate cookie dough ice cream at the same time. And when you are watching a movie, and it's hot outside, never leave bars of chocolate out. You must eat the chocolate first, then move on to other food groups. And Al's does not keep well for more then two days, but is acceptable to eat for up to a week after purchase with only minor side effects. And,"

Rory grabbed a white Kleenex from a near by box and began waving it around, "Fine, fine, you have taught me many important food-type things. But, what I was really thinking about was the fact that we no longer have to go to Luke's. Now Luke's can come to us."

Lorelai smiled, "I am quite a provider, aren't I, Scarlett?"

"Of course, Emeril," Rory said with a very fake sounding, but highly amusing southern belle accent. "So, what exactly are you and Luke doing tonight?" Rory switched the subject back to something more substantial. More, not completely. More.

"Well," Lorelai drew out her words, "I was thinking, with your permission of course, that we take out the _Friends_ DVD's that we've been hiding up in my room."

Rory jerked her head back, "Why, why, why would you want to do that?"

"Because I referenced it earlier with him, and we are secretly dating, so I figured that in honor of the beginning of our secret dating escapades, we watch a little of season five?"

"But what about our image? We can't have word leaking out that we love _Friends_. It's, it's so mainstream. Lane will never forgive me!"

"Well, if your not ready to come out of the non-gay closet yet, sweetie, I could swear Luke to secrecy. It's not like he's gonna bring it up at the next town meeting."

"But I thought we swore never to speak of those!"

Lorelai lowered her head, "I know, I've failed you. I broke the pact."

Rory put a hand on her mother's shoulder. She breathed in deeply, "Well, I guess I can allow you to let Luke, and only Luke know about our obsession. But you have to make him swear never to speak of it. Ever. To anyone. If I'm walking down the street and he feels the sudden urge to make a _Friends _reference, I will just keep walking and pretend like I don't know him. Understood."

"Yea, all except for the part about Luke feeling the urge to make a _Friends _reference."

"Well, you never know. Now promise me."

Lorelai nodded her head, "I swear, not a word. Secret hand shake?"

Rory nodded and lifted up her hand, initiating the secret handshake. Lorelai slapped both sides of her hand, then stopped, allowing Rory to do the same to her hand. Then stopped, pressing her hand up against her mothers. Then they proceeded into a shaking motion, stopped, but still clutched each other's hands, and looked for a place to spit.

"How about we just skip the spitting part and said we did it," Lorelai offered, "Cause I wouldn't want to clean up the spit from the carpet, or explain to somewhere why there is a small little wet spot."

Rory nodded, "Agreed."

"So, Luke will be sworn to secrecy. And you will go over and housesit for Babette and Morey, which means you'll probably have Dean over,"

"Yeah, is that okay?"

"It's fine. Just don't do anything stupid. Think 'what would mommy do' and then do the exact opposite. Got it?"

Rory nodded again, "Yep. I'll just stick with the WWMD opposite rule. And you, missy, better not do anything too slutty. I'm just next door, and I'm pretty sure Babette has a weak sound proofing system."

Lorelai grinned, "Good point. I'll remember to shut all of the windows after you leave."

Rory rolled her eyes, "And remember to take care of Stella. I'd bring her over to Babette's, but that'd be the end of Stella and we'd really like for her to stay around for a little while longer."

Lorelai nodded, "The bird's safe with me."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Demon spawn."

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**_Updates up ASAP.  
Please Review._**


	3. Closets, Chicks, and Trekkies

_Arg. I just finished up with all of my comments, then, BAM! My compter gets a little glitch and deletes the whole thing! STUPID COMPUTER! I hate having to redo everything. I was just about to put the last line in, then BAM! Back to the Documents page...arg. I knew I should have saved it. But oh no, it'll just take me a second, then I'm off to the stories page. Arg._

_**BloodyMary2: **I do agree with you and Muffin that Lorelai was not emotionally ready for the relationship by now, which is one of my reasons for not wanting to write one of the 'woulda, coulda, shoulda' fics. But I really just needed to do something that was pruely for fun for once. I haven't done one of those fics in a long time. Granted, it is me, so I'll probably have some drama comming up, but at least a got a little fluff out of my system, right? lol._

_And thanks for the catch on Stella's name. I really didn't remember, and I just came up with the whole 'Rocky' and 'Streetcar...' thing and decided to go with it instead of taking the time to look it up. My compter isn't exactly my friend most days. So, blame it on laziness, I guess. It's another one of my more darling personality quirks. lol. Thanks for the review._

_**FanofLOST: **First of all, LOST is a completely awesome show! Me and my friend would sit and talk about it Thursdays during math (doesn't make me sound so good, huh?). And Love Actually? Only a Christmas Staple in my house. It's right before 'A Christmas Story' in my Christmas Eve line-up! How could I not find a way to quote it in one of my stories?_

_Anways, back to what I'm supposed to be saying now...thanks for your comment about Luke's character. He's a hard one to translate into fiction, because he is more about reacting then expressing (verbally epsically). Most of his dialouge is internal, which, unless you focus on him souly, can get a little complicated next to a character like Lorelai (espically how I like to write her). Thanks for the review._

_**Epona9009: **I can't believe I missed you! I'm so sorry! Well, thanks for both reviews I guess...lol. Glad your liking the characters, again it's something that I fret about every time I post a new fic or even a new chapter. These characters are really hard to translate successfully into fanfiction, unlike FRIENDS characters who really just play one role. (Not to diss FRIENDS, cause it's probably one of my all-time favorite TV shows, but I hope you get what I'm saying). Thanks for the reivew(s)._

_**Muffin is Injured: **Muffin, Muffin, Muffin. The infamous ranter of the Gilmore Girls section strikes again! lol. I'm way too easily amused. And voila? It's really voila? Wow. Never knew that. The French are wierd...and I just insulted an entire country. Go me. lol. Thanks for the reivew. _

_Another round of thanks go out to: **Sue the Lunatic, J, Lljunkie, Sammi, Jinna, Bloomin Daisy, Rusty Bedsprings, LucyKevinfan, Suzanne, Biscuit, Chelle, LukeNlorelaifan, Beautiful Butterfly, Allison, **and **Sar. **Again if I forgot you (Sorry again Epona!) or I just mis-spelled your name (something ProFfesSeR knows quite well), I'm really sorry. _

_Alright, managed to make it through that part without my computer acting up! Whoo! Score. _

* * *

Lorelai and Rory stood nose to nose on their front porch step, reviewing the game plan for the evening. Or rather, Rory reminding her mother of all the things Lorelai was supposed to accomplish that evening.

"So just remember to feed Stella," Rory repeated, "And just a little bit, cause I fed her earlier. We do not need a hyperactive chick on our hands."

"Rory, go to Babette's! I promise I will not kill your bird! It's just one night, how much damage can I do?" Rory gave her mother a look. "Alright, so I can do some pretty damn good damage, but I promise, that bird will be just fine and dandy when you see her tomorrow morning. Who knows? Maybe I'll teach it to sing and dance for you kind of dandy. You can run in and scream 'Stella!' at the top of your lungs, and dammit that bird will be there to chirp at you, followed by me screaming 'shut up it's Saturday!'."

"I just need to make sure,"

"Your bird's gonna be fine, now go and sit that house!" Lorelai gave Rory a little shove in the right direction. They'd been standing there a good fifteen twenty minutes discussing that stupid bird. She was really starting to hate that bird.

"And don't let her out of her cage!" Rory shouted as she stumbled down the steps backwards in the general direction of Babette and Morey's.

"Go!" Lorelai waved her arms, "You're gonna be late! Hell, you already are fashionably late, but pretty soon your gonna be, well un-fashionably late!"

Rory gave her mother once last unsure look before whipping around and running down the driveway toward Babette and Morey's. "See ya, mom!"

"Just remember the WWMD opposite rule!"

Rory just shot her arm up into the air, giving her mother a thumbs up, which in the Gilmore household was a silent 'I heard you and shall forever abide by such'. It was almost as good as signing your name in blood, but seeing as how they were the epitome of girly girls (minus the boyband music tastes), blood pacts just seemed a little too tough.

Lorelai just chuckled to herself, and walked back inside her house, trusting that the screen door would shut behind her. She had a lot to do, and not a whole lot of time to do it in. Task number one: Finding some sort of vegetable to feed Luke. While the presence of vegetables in the Gilmore household was few and far between on normal days, on movie nights they were considered a carnal sin punishable by watching Roseanne sing the national anthem (which was something Lorelai had the forethought to tape the second she heard about it), and/or a Nicholas Cage movie marathon.

Things of that nature were taken very seriously in the Gilmore household. A repeat offender might just have to face the Paris Hilton movie (and not her foray into the Adult Film Industry) marathon.

But she'd have to break the code. She'd just try not to look directly at the vegetables. And Rory probably assumed that Luke would not stand for her consuming massive amounts of junk food, let alone himself, so the presence of said food group should not be too much of a surprise. At least not a punishable one.

Lorelai walked into the kitchen, where Stella bounced and chirped happily in her cage. Lorelai just let out a small grin, "You and me, both, Stella," she murmured to the bird as the past by in her fruitless search for anything remotely related to fruits or vegetables. She was starting to wonder if Luke would eat fruit snacks. They had an abundance of those lying around. Somewhere.

* * *

"My, my, Luke, closing up early today, aren't we?" Miss Patty noted with a large grin plastered on her face, "Got any big plans tonight?"

Luke rolled his eyes and continued his nightly cleaning-up ritual, "Not really," he lied angrily. If there ever really was a benefit to being known as being the town grump, it was this. When he had to lie, he just had to sound grumpy and people would buy whatever it was he had to say.

"Well, first you opened up late this morning,"

Luke cut her off before she could finish, "To start the process of re-painting the diner. Didn't feel the need to have everyone around to watch me pick out paint samples. But hey, this is a strange town, perhaps you guys like watching people look at paint samples and drink beer. Hell, people watch other people play poker on TV, right?"

Miss Patty just gave him her infamous little grin, "And now your closing up early," she continued on like he hadn't said a word. "Oh, and I did notice that you cooked up a little extra food and are now hiding it behind the counter," she nudged her head towards where he had stashed the food earlier.

"So? I bring food to people a lot when I come over," he tried to sound nonchalant about the whole thing, "Everybody knows that."

"I'm just finding this little train of events quite interesting, that's all," she sang out her words.

Luke gave her a look, "It's nothing, Patty. I do, contrary to popular belief, have a life."

Patty shook her head, "Oh, no, dear! I never meant to imply that!"

"Just finish up your coffee, okay?" He mumbled out, glancing up at the clock. He was probably going to be a little late. And he couldn't call Lorelai, not while Miss Patty was sitting right across from him, staring at his every movement. And after he acted so 'no big deal' about his plans, calling the person to tell them he was going to be late sounded like he cared about his plans.

And that would invite questions. Which is exactly what he'd be trying to avoid the second Miss Patty walked into his diner and that little 'Danger Will Robinson' voice started acting up in his head.

He started tapping his hands nervously on the counter. Just watching as Miss Patty took her time with her coffee, drinking it at an almost inhumanly slow pace. No doubt she was waiting for him to crack, giving her the next big scoop.

"Something the matter, dear?" Patty asked innocently, "You need to be somewhere?"

Luke shrugged, "Not really, no," he mumbled out, still trying to remain grumpy-sounding. It wasn't hard. Hell, it wasn't even acting that time around.

"Because I can take this to-go if you really have somewhere you need to be. Perhaps to meet a date. You never should keep dates waiting, y'know. Bad manners."

Luke just gave her his best 'I'm clueless as to what you are talking about' face, "Nope. No date."

"Oh," Patty sounded slightly disappointed, "Are you sure?"

"I think I would know if I was about to go on a date, Patty."

She gave him another look, then finished up the rest of her coffee quickly, "Well then, I'll leave you to whatever your plans are," she said dejectedly. Apparently she was hoping for a bigger scoop then what she got. Then just slid off her stool and walked out the door, leaving Luke to finish up the last little bits of cleaning up he had to do.

As he lifted up the stool that Patty had been sitting on, he got another look at the clock: 7:00. He was supposed to be there now. Lorelai would wonder what took him. Either that, or be glad that he was late giving her time to actually finish getting ready. No doubt she was scrambling around her house right now, putting on the finishing touches.

Finishing touches. For him. That was a nice thought.

He felt a goofy grin take over his features. The same one that he'd been wearing all that morning, and fighting desperately not to wear all afternoon. He hadn't felt like this in ages.

Taking in another deep breath, to steady himself, and resisting the urge to pinch his forearm (he would not succumb to that cliché), he grabbed the bag of freshly made food, his car keys, and finally walked out and locked the diner.

He was about to go on a date with Lorelai Gilmore. The Lorelai Gilmore. Not to be confused with the other Lorelai Gilmore.

He took another deep breath, and started for her house.

* * *

Lorelai ran through her house, trying to find that perfect median of clean where it looked like she cleaned up a little but nowhere near that frantic cleaning that occurred when you were about to have someone over that meant a lot to you. She'd already changed her shirt five times, just trying to look casual but not too casual. And the pillows. They couldn't look like they were set in their places on purpose, but rather just tossed on to the couch at leisure. Y'know. Whatever.

She wasn't nervous. Luke didn't make her nervous. No. He was Luke. He'd been over a hundred times before. Seen the house in all states of cleanliness. And she didn't care then. Why was it bothering her so much now?

It was just a kiss. It wasn't like he'd proposed or something. They were just trying this out. Seeing how things went. It was casual. They were casual.

She shouldn't be putting this much thought into her pillow placement!

Lorelai threw down the pillow angrily onto the couch, and then stormed back off into the kitchen to finish brining in the assortment of foods she had assembled.

All in all, she was pretty proud of the healthy food selection she had managed to find. They actually owned a bag of salad, god knows when that got there and why, it was probably some prank Sookie had played on her and Rory, and they just never noticed.

But, no matter how it got there, at least now it was finally getting some use. She even found a thing of salad dressing, which must have been either part of the prank or just some impulse buy that she'd never found a use for, and decided that salad in a bag sounded actually pretty good. Even if Luke didn't want any.

Then she managed to find some celery, which would go great with the peanut butter, which was already apart of the movie night line-up. Then came the regulars: ice cream, chocolate, licorice, popcorn, M & M's, Dum Dums, and other assorted candies. She opted out of Al's because Luke was already bringing food, but other than that (and of course her movie watching companion), it was just another movie night at the Gilmore's.

Well, movie watching and listening to the smooth background track of Stella chirping like she'd never chirped before. Seriously, it was just like that chick had just learned to chirp she was chirping so much. And, of course, she waited until after Rory left to begin the chirping assault on Lorelai's eardrums.

It was like the chick was mocking her inability to commit to a shirt or a pillow placement!

Lorelai shot the chick an annoyed look, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you just keep right on chirpin', " she mumbled as she took the last tray of food out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Doesn't bother me one little bit."

She set the tray down angrily, causing some of the salad to pop out of the bag in the process. "Damn bird," she mumbled under her breath as she bent over to pick up the pieces of lettuce that had found their freedom on Lorelai's newly vacuumed carpet.

"Alright, he'll be here any minute now, any minute," she tried to calm herself as she hustled back into the kitchen to throw away the pieces of offending lettuce.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang, resulting in Lorelai jumping and accidentally throwing the lettuce up in the air. And, seeing as how her catching ability was practically non-existent, it landed so nicely on her kitchen floor just inches away from her trash bin.

"Dammit," she mummered under her breath, as she bent back down and picked up the piece of lettuce (ignoring Stella's catcalls at her), and ran to the door, nearly taking out her table and her brilliant pillow placement in the process.

Once she got to the door, she placed one hand on the knob and another on the actual door to steady herself. She took a deep breath as she opened the door, "Hey," she practically whispered out.

Luke smiled back at her, "Hey yourself," he leaned down and met her lips in another fireworks inspiring kiss.

"You're really good at that," Lorelai mused when they finally broke apart. "I mean, really good at that. Can I just have a relationship with your lips?"

Luke gave her a look, "Thanks," he said dryly.

"You know what I meant."

He nodded, "I know."

"Good. Cause it was a compliment if you looked at it the right way."

"So, are you gonna keep me out here like this all night, because if you are I'd really like a blanket," he deadpanned.

"Oh!" Lorelai exclaimed, jumping out of the doorframe, "Come in! Come in!"

Luke stepped inside, "So, where do you want me to put this?" He held up his bag of food, "I assume you already have a set up, wouldn't want to ruin that."

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Just grab some plates from the kitchen and set them where you find space. Preferably in the middle. We both need to reach the burgers. If you will note, however, the majority of the healthy food selection is moved to one side."

"You picked out a side for me?"

"Well that's usually Rory's side, and it just feels weird to sit on that side and watch a movie. So, tonight, it is your side."

"And what happens if Rory happens to be here watching a movie with us, later?" Luke teased, "Do I just hover over you two."

"Duh," Lorelai sat down on her side of the couch, making herself comfortable.

"And how do you expect me to hover?" Luke asked as he walked into the kitchen to get the plates.

"By using your _Star Trek_ skills, silly," Lorelai yelled back at him from her position on the couch.

Luke came out of the kitchen, carrying two plates of burgers and fries, "Hey, who in their right mind gave you two a bird?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "It's for Rory's school project, and I don't appreciate that tone, mister."

Luke set down the plates in the middle of the spread (where Lorelai had conveniently left a rather large space and a little post-it note that she had drawn a target on. "Subtle," he deadpanned, "And what tone?"

"The tone that implies that me and Rory are completely incapable of taking care of another living thing."

"But you can't," Luke reminded her.

"So not the point."

Luke shook his head, as he just plopped down onto the couch next to Lorelai, "So, what are we watching tonight?"

"I was thinking, that in honor of our secret dating escapades, we should watch a little of _Friends_, season five. But in order to do this, you must be sworn to secrecy."

"What now?"

"Me and Rory don't want it getting out that we're _Friends _fans. It'll totally ruin our image. Plus, between you and me, Rory's not ready to come out of the closet yet."

Luke rolled his eyes, "I promise I will not speak a word about you two liking _Friends_."

"Oh, ho, ho, my friend. You can't even mention that _Friends_ has ever existed in our presence! No references, no 'whatda mean Chandler's a real name', nothing! If such an event transpires, we will have no choice but to ignore you and pretend like we never met you."

"It's kinda hard not to know the guy who's lips you secretly date."

Lorelai took a deep breath, "I'll have to be strong. For Rory."

Luke shook his head, "All right, all right, I'll just have to resist the urge to randomly come up to one of you two and quote this show sometime. But let me tell you, it's no picnic."

"Thank-you, it's all we ask," Lorelai said dramatically, "Well I guess all we need now is to seal the deal? Any suggestions?"

Luke cracked another smile, "I got a few," he said as they both leaned in closer together and met in another passionate 'beginning of a relationship' kiss.

After a few moments, they broke apart (but didn't move apart, that's an entirely different matter), and Luke made out breathlessly, "You think that was enough to seal it?"

Lorelai shook her head, "Nope," she put her hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for another kiss.

* * *

_I know, kinda a wierd point to end it at, but I just didn't want to keep going on and on with the movie night. Then this chapter would be like fifteen billion pages (wow...the valley girl inside of me is starting to come out...dear god save me...or rather gag with me a spoon!) (lol)._

**_Updates up ASAP.  
Please Review._**


	4. Christoper

_A very long, chapter...this will never happen again. lol. But, I did find another okay spot to end it (which was about half way through), but I really felt that I needed to get to a conflict, thus the eleven page chapter is born. _

_On a speical note: Assume the events of 'That Damn Donna Reed' night (when they are looking for Stella) remain the same (with the expection of calling Luke, because that'd be pointless, he's already there). The reason for me not writing that all out, is that I just be replaying the episode, which I find really annoying when people do it for large sections in their fics. Little pieces parts (espically for ones that occur during a peticular episode) is okay, I understand why they need to be there and I live through them. But an entire chapter of just part of an episode, I'm like "no thanks, I'll just watch it on TV". _

_**Fan of LOST: **I love Charlie and Claire. Ooh, ooh, and Hurely, Siead (most episodes), Kate, and Sawyer (oh, so funny!), and Jack. Heck, I like them all with the expection of Blondie (aka Shannon). She should go die in a hole. Poor Boone. I miss Boone. Poor, misguided Boone. _

_Thanks for the review._

_Also, thanks go out to: **J. Stone, Candlewick866, Sammi, Ultimategilmoregirl, Bloomin Daisy, LukeNlorelaifan, Beautiful Butterfly, Baby Girl Geller Green, LucyKevinfan, Labyrith, Muffin Is Injured, **and **Epona9009**_

* * *

Rory tip-toed into her living room sleep-deprived, potentially emotionally scarred, and above all else praying to god that her mother and Luke had clothes on and she was just over-reacting. Nothing would happen the first date. Her mom may have had her looser standards when she was younger, but she had to have grown a better brain my now.

She hoped.

"Please have clothes on, please have clothes on," she whispered as she slowly approached the couch, which seemed to be the epicenter of the disaster that was their living room.

She let out a sigh of relief when she saw that they were in fact both fully clothed, and showing no evident signs of any…adult relations. Yes, that was a kind way to put it. Adult relations. They were just laying together in a mess of limbs, blankets, pillows, and a singular baseball cap, on the couch. Or rather half way on the couch and floor.

Rory couldn't help but feel a small grin take over her features. They looked good there. Like they belonged there. Maybe not within the disaster zone of a living room, which Rory was going to have to have a little chat with her mother about later, but with each other.

Lorelai lifted her head a little, "Rory?" She asked groggily, "Is that you?"

"Yeah, just go back to sleep, mom, it's early."

Lorelai jerked her head completely up, "Oh my god. It's morning? Oh my god!" She sat up, and began shaking Luke (who probably noticed the weight shift anyways seeing as how he'd somehow ended up below Lorelai) (Rory was not going to press for any further details as to why Lorelai was laying on top of Luke. They kissed would be sufficient enough information in this case), "Luke! Luke!"

"If that bird's gone again, I'm goin' over to Babette's, borrowing a cat, I don't care which cat, but it'll be a cat, and sending it on it's stupid little ass," Luke mumbled out, but refused to open his eyes.

Rory shot her mother a look, "You lost Stella! How could you loose Stella!"

"The bird had a small break-out complex. Great Elvis impersonation before it happened though. Broke out into 'Jailhouse Rock' with the kitchen appliances. Really should have tipped me off."

"Mom! Luke!" Rory pointed back at Luke, giving her mother another little road map to help her stay on track. Wake up Luke, then discuss bird's escape.

Lorelai jerked her head back towards him, "Right! Luke! You have you get up! Diner! Rory!" Complete sentences were not needed. Thoughts should be communicated in this kind of situation as quickly as possible. Grammatically correct sentences would only slow them down.

Luke's eyes shot open, apparently the usual morning grogginess wearing off and realization coming to, "Oh my god. I was here all night. Nobody's at the diner!"

"Well did you stop and consider the possibility that they are all outside your diner, wondering where the hell you are?" Lorelai pointed out, Rory just nodded in agreement.

"My car's outside!"

"Well that kinda puts a damper on this whole situation, doesn't it?" Lorelai sighed, "If Patty or Kirk or some little kid that Patty or Kirk paid asks, just tell them the truth."

"Mom?" Rory asked in disbelief, "What are you doing. Remember the Patty comments? Right in between the 'no you're prettier' argument!"

"Ha! I knew you had those arguments! You just admitted to it, missy!" Lorelai laughed, "And, to you Luke, you don't have to share the entire story. Just leave out a few key details, like the kissing."

"Or the _Friends _watching," Rory reminded, "You did put him under oath right? He is never, ever to mention this to anyone."

"Under threat of putting a needle in my eye," Luke deadpanned. "So, if they ask, we'll just go with the we were hanging out and fell asleep during the movie?"

Lorelai nodded, "It could happen. Without Rory here I had nobody to keep me entertained, and since I had already seen the movie hundreds of times before, I already knew what was gonna happen, so I just dozed off. And you just dozed off cause you didn't like the movie anyways. Ha! A perfect lie!"

"Way to be an example, mommy dearest."

"I try, babe, I really do."

"And let me remind you that you are in fact still sitting on top of Luke," Rory pointed out, "Which, no offense Luke, is a mental image I would rather not have following me around all day."

Lorelai shrugged, and hopped off Luke, "This is major rule breaking, isn't it, babe?"

"They're your rules."

"Rules?" Luke asked, as he, now Lorelai free and able to movie, finally climbed off the couch.

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah. When Rory was little and I started dating again, I set myself up some rules to keep my Rory life away from my love life. Like no men in the house."

"I've been in your house hundreds of times."

Rory shook her head, "No, you didn't count back then. She means like," she coughed, "Erm-romantic interests in the house."

Lorelai gave Rory an amused look, "Romantic interests?"

"Hey, I'm trying to make it through this conversation with the least amount of emotionally scarring as possible."

Luke nodded, "She's got a point, you know."

Lorelai shot him a look, "Hey, you're supposed to be on my side! It's like a rule or something!"

He raised an eyebrow, "Oh really now?"

"I'll send Taylor on you. Or maybe Bootsy. Who knows? I might even be able to pull Kirk away from whatever it is Kirk is doing at the moment, and send him on you."

"Do that, and I'll take the coffee away from you."

"You're an evil man," Lorelai narrowed her eyes at him.

Luke gave her an amused look.

"Diner! Customers! Emotionally scarred children!" Rory shouted out, "Move people!" She clapped her hands together, jerking Lorelai and Luke out of their own little world and back into reality again.

"Right!" Lorelai shouted, "You gotta get to the diner!" She gave him a quick peck on the lips, "But I'll be by later for coffee, promise."

He smiled back at her, "This would be so less awkward if I knew we weren't being watched."

"Hey, I'm gonna hear all about this anyways. Might as well see it first hand to save some time," Rory shrugged. "So just suck it up, solider!"

Luke leaned down and gave Lorelai a quick peck on the forehead, "I'm holding ya to that coffee date." He added as he made his way slowly through the chaos that was the Gilmore living room.

"Save me a pot!"

Luke just gave her a look as he opened the door and walked out.

As soon as the door clicked, Rory switched into scolding mode. "So you lost Stella?"

"Hey, first of all, she escaped. Second of all, after searching for hours on end during our date, mind you, we finally tracked down that pesky little bird."

"I can't believe you almost lost Stella," Rory shook her head, "And you messed up a perfectly clean living room."

"You should have seen it before Luke got here. Even cleaner."

Rory let out a mock gasp, "I didn't think it possible."

"Oh, it's possible babe. I just moved most of the magazines, leaving a few choice issues,"

"Of course."

"And I just moved a lot of the stuff we usually don't use into the closet, which all came out when we were looking for the bird."

"Explains the mess over there," she nudged her head towards the closet where it looked like an avalanche of useless junk had occurred.

Lorelai just smiled, "So, how long do you think we should wait before heading over to Luke's?"

"I don't know, I've never been in a secret relationship."

"Oh, ho, ho, on contraire my friend. You didn't tell me about Dean at first!"

Rory shook her head, "Totally doesn't count! We weren't even dating yet!"

"But he kissed you, and you didn't tell me about it! I had to find out about it from Mrs. Kim, and let me tell you, that was not the most preferable manner."

Rory rolled her eyes, "This is totally different. We weren't officially dating yet. You were there on our first date, remember?"

Lorelai shrugged, "Well you never told me you two hadn't been alone yet. Not my fault I was trying to be nice and get to know the boy you'd been secretly meeting behind my back!" She stuck her tongue out at Rory, "I told you about Luke."

"But, well, erm—you guys were official when you told me about him, so there! Ha!" Rory shouted as she walked back towards her room.

"How does that make any difference?"

Rory walked into her room, "Because."

Lorelai marched after Rory, "Because why?"

Rory popped her head of her room, "Because I said so," she smirked.

"Well, this is backwards."

"Thus the basis of its appeal. We were never ones for tradition."

"Yeah, that'd be boring," Lorelai nodded in agreement, "So you think it's been long enough, yet?"

"Long enough for what?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes, and gave Rory a look.

"Oh"

"There it is!"

"I might have to go extra slow now," Rory teased.

Lorelai gave her a death stare.

"Or I could go really fast," Rory darted into her bedroom.

"Just remember kid, I brought you into this world and I can take you out," Lorelai yelled into the room, "Now go get changed so mommy can go make eyes with the diner owner!"

"Just give me a second. I wanna change my shirt. You might wanna think about changing too. You slept in that, remember?"

"Good point!" Lorelai shouted as she bounded for the stairs. "Smelling bad and flirting don't mix! I don't care who tells you differently!"

Rory walked out of her room, wearing a fresh new Bangles t-shirt, "Who would tell me to smell bad when I flirt, and why would I believe them?"

"Oh, you Harvard folk can be so gullible sometimes."

"Mom,"

Lorelai walked back out of her room, dressed in her favorite 'I look pretty damn fine in this' suit, "All right, it was a bad example! No need to go all bad cop on me!"

Rory smiled as Lorelai made her way down the stairs, "Somebody's dressed to impress. Trying to look good for Luke, are we?"

"No, me, never?" She smirked, "I just feel pretty, oh so pretty," she sang as she danced towards the doorway, "Oh so pretty and gay! And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight!"

"Charming, Maria."

"I thought so," Lorelai grinned, "Now, let's go! We've wasted enough time!" She pulled open the door and pointed her hand out of it.

"I don't think he's going anywhere," Rory started, before Lorelai grabbed her and pulled her out the door. "Child abuse! Child abuse!"

"Ah go tell it to Suzanne Vega," Lorelai grumbled out as she walked through the door, closing it behind her as she walked.

"Ah, but if you remember, she actually didn't do anything to help poor little Luka. She just sang about him. To a very happy beat, mind you."

"Yeah, never quite got that."

Rory bowed her head slightly, "Poor Luka."

Lorelai nodded along, "I know. Poor, poor abused Luka."

* * *

Lorelai had issues keeping her smile down to a normal decimal as she and Rory made their way through the town. Not that the townspeople really noticed. The Gilmore girls weren't exactly known for being the sanest twosome out there. Luke, however, would probably have some explaining to do.

As they approached Luke's Diner, she felt her smile kick up another notch or two. Hell, it was like she was the Grinch and her smile was the heart scale.

"Is it that obvious?" Lorelai whispered to Rory as they approached, "Am I being too," she moved her hands a bit, "Y'know?"

Rory shrugged, "I donno know. I know what's going on, so to me it's obvious. If somebody asks, just say we got free cable or something." She pulled open the door, "Or ooh, we got a really good deal on those movie channels we've always wanted to get!"

"Ooh, I do want those movie channels," Lorelai said as she walked through the door, smile going up yet another notch. "Is it possible to just tear my mouth out of my head for a couple of hours?"

"That would cut down on the talking time. And the studying song."

"Admit it, you find me entertaining."

"I never said you weren't entertaining. It's just the entire purpose of the studying song is to distract me from said studying, which is very important," Rory explained as they both took seats at the counter, "You see, studying is important. It is what gets me through school. And by not studying, I don't get through school. Therefore not getting to Harvard, and therefore not becoming a world famous, amazingly rich, and infamous beautiful reporter."

"Then you couldn't go and buy your mommy her beautiful villa in southern Spain," Lorelai nodded along. "Want me to go sing the studying song at Paris's house. I can break in late at night, sit in a dark corner and just start singing."

"Now that's a good idea. Apart from the breaking and entering."

"What? I thought I'd help my image if I had some street cred to my name."

"Yes, because breaking in to a girl's home and singing to her will totally help your street cred here in Stars Hallow, the real ghetto."

"You said it sista," Lorelai snapped her fingers.

Rory put her head in her hands, "Oh god, what am I related to?"

Lorelai smirked proudly, "Oh, you know you love it. I bet you wait until night time, when you think I've gone to bed, and laugh at all the witty things you made fun of earlier."

"Oh, you caught me," Rory deadpanned, "And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids, and that dog too!" Rory snapped her fingers together in a 'oh shucks' manner.

"A _Scooby Doo_ reference, now that's something you don't hear everyday," Luke entered himself into the conversation, "Now what can I get you?" He stood in front of them, trusty notepad in hand.

"Well," Lorelai pulled out her menu, "If you'll just give me a moment here to study the menu," she turned it upside-down.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking to make sure you don't have any hidden specials down here."

"Mom, people are looking."

Lorelai smirked brightly, as she set down the menu, "I'll have a fruit salad and some green tea."

Luke gave her a look, "All right, you're chocolate chip pancakes and coffee will be here in a minute, I assume the same thing goes for your little mini-me over here?"

Lorelai mock-gasped, "That's not what I ordered!"

"Well, it looks like you'll just have to suffer through it," he turned to Rory, "You okay with that, Rory? I've got waffles today too."

"Nah, I'll go with the chocolate chip pancakes."

"Traitor," Lorelai murmured, "And I could have really wanted that fruit salad and green tea! But seeing as how this coffee substance you speak of and these chocolate chip pancakes seem so important to you, I guess I'll just have to eat them," she smiled brightly at Luke.

"What a trooper," Luke deadpanned, trying to keep his own smile down but not succeeding very well, as he handed Lorelai and Rory their coffees. "Pancakes will be done in a minute, all right?" He said before disappearing into the kitchen.

"So, kiddo, how did the house sitting go last night? Did you and Dean finally settle the 'who's prettier' argument?"

"Nah, couldn't reach an agreement quite yet. Still in the beginning stages of that really," Rory replied simply, "How about looking for Stella last night? Any casualties, besides our living room?"

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah, the lemon lamp."

"Oh," Rory whined, "What happened?"

"Luke killed it."

Rory gasped, "Did he do it on purpose?"

"I haven't proven anything yet," Lorelai grumbled, her eyes darting towards the kitchen, "But give me time, I will."

"May the force be with you on that one."

"Sure thing, Obi Won. Right after I get my light saber back from the shop. That thing just been malfunctioning like you wouldn't believe it! I almost killed Chewy!"

"How could you almost kill Chewy? He's like twice your size!"

"With my malfunctioning light saber, duh. I already said that, you gotta listen, babe."

"Of course. How could I miss that logic? How silly of me."

Luke walked back over to them, carrying two plates of steaming chocolate chip pancakes.

"Well, aren't you a vision," Lorelai flirted shamelessly. That was not out of the ordinary. Had she attempted to lean over and kiss him, Rory might have had to intercept.

"It must be the Axe," Luke muttered out, "Just sprayed some on."

Lorelai grinned, "Hey! You do watch TV!" She turned to Rory, "Did you hear that Axe Body Spray reference! I'm so proud."

"He's growing up," Rory joined in on the teasing. Another normal occurrence.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Eat your pancakes," and with the exception of the sly smile that both him and Lorelai shared (that they doubted anyone within a mile radius had noticed), grumpy Luke walking away was yet another normal morning's at Luke's occurrence.

"Hey Luke," Lorelai called him back over, "I was thinking that we could get together and actually paint this Friday, how does that sound?"

Luke walked back over to them, "Don't you have your thing with your parents Friday nights. I seem to remember two very depressed and/or agitated, dressed-up, and hungry looking girls wandering into my diner every Friday night for some burgers and coffee. But I could be mixing you guys up with some other chatty girls."

Lorelai gave him a look, "Well, I can get out of it for special occasions."

"Wait, your sending me alone?" Rory piped in, "So you can paint the diner? I don't think that counts as a special occasion."

"I don't have to specify that I will be painting the diner," Lorelai reasoned, "I just have to say that I promised a friend that I would help out. Which is exactly what I will be doing."

"You teach me such good morals, mom."

"And I'll go to part of diner, I'll just leave early, which means you get to leave early too."

"We can paint the diner some other night, y'know," Luke butted in, "If you have to go to this diner thing with your parents, it's not big deal."

"But I don't want to go," Lorelai said simply. "And I have finally found a reason that might work as to why I cannot go for the full thing."

Luke shrugged, "Sorry, don't know how I missed that kind of reasoning."

"She sounds like a little kid, doesn't she?" Rory pointed out to Luke, "This is the person that is raising me. It's a wonder that I turned out so responsible."

Lorelai nodded, "How did that happen, anyways?"

"I rebelled."

Lorelai shook her head playfully, "Shame, shame. You shouldn't rebel against your mommy dearest."

"May I remind you of what you did to your mother."

"But you see, that was _my _mother. I'm talking about _your _mother."

"Hypocrite."

Lorelai just stuck out her tongue at Rory in rebuttal. A sensible, well respected comeback in the land of the Gilmore's (or at least two of them).

The low rumble of a motorcycle buzzed through the town square, followed by a very angry Taylor muttering, "Damn motorcycles, they're a scourge," from his position behind Lorelai.

"Yeah," Lorelai and Rory agreed jokingly as they turned around to face him.

"They're loud, they're dangerous. We should ban them from town!"

Lorelai grinned brightly, "Maybe we should set up barricades and ban all unwelcome strangers from crossing the border."

"Well! Well, no we couldn't do that, that would be illegal," Taylor sounded slightly disappointed at that fact.

"Darn laws," Lorelai shook her head.

"I know," he nodded his head, apparently not having caught on to the joke, "Anyways, Luke!" He waved his hand at the already angry-looking diner owner. "Luke, I need to have a little chat with you about an upcoming event."

"So what's new, Taylor?" Luke growled.

"Well you see,"

"Go away, Taylor," Luke cut him off before he could finish.

"He's gotta nip it in the butt," Lorelai whispered to Rory in her best Barney Fife impression. "Cut Taylor off before he can suggest anything."

"So who do you think is gonna win?"

"Well I gotta go for Luke," Lorelai reasoned.

"Luke sending Taylor away or Luke winning the argument?"

Lorelai paused for a moment, "Five bucks on sending Taylor away."

Rory chuckled, "He'd never get rid of Taylor. I'm gonna have to go with Luke winning the argument, for now anyways."

"Nice shirt," a voice whispered from behind the two.

Lorelai shrugged, "Thanks," she mumbled without bothering to turn around. The argument was about to be started, if Luke couldn't get Taylor away before it did, she'd be out five big ones.

"Take it off," the voice continued.

This got not only Lorelai's but Luke's attention as well.

"Excuse me?" She asked as she turned around to see the last person she thought she'd see today. Heck, not even the last. He hadn't even made the list. "Christopher," she said simply.

Rory whirled around in her chair, smiling brightly, "Dad?" She squealed jumping into the leather-clad arm's of her father. "This is great! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you. And your mom, who's not saying anything about as loud as a person can."

"Hello," Lorelai finally made out.

"A word. Maybe there's a phrase in my future. OK, why is that man staring at me," he pointed at Taylor, who had also seemed to lose interest in the almost-argument between him and Luke to give a death glare to Chris.

"That's Taylor Doose. He owns the market. He knows all and sees all," Rory introduced, "Taylor, this is my dad! And next to him is Luke, he owns the diner. Keeps us in the coffee."

"Alright, Taylor," Chris gave a little head nod in Taylor's direction, "Luke," he did the same for Luke, "Nice to meet you both."

"So, what's with the just showing up, Mr. Spontaneity Guy?" Lorelai butted in, hoping to 'nip it in the butt'.

He turned and smiled at her, "Well, my folks are back in Connecticut so I'm here to see them, and on the way I thought I'd stop by and surprise the Gilmore girls. Are you surprised?"

"Oh, the teeniest feather could knock me in the gutter," Lorelai tried to sound casual. It wasn't really working.

Chris turned back to Rory excitedly, "So where would somebody find someplace to stay around here?"

Rory's smile lit up even more, "Stay, really? You're staying?"

He shrugged playfully, "Thinking about it."

"Stay with us!"

Lorelai tried to bring herself back into the conversation, "Um, sweetie," she darted her eyes nervously at Luke, who was doing his best to stay calm.

Chris looked back up at her, "I don't think your mom,"

Lorelai shook her head, "No, it's not that, I'm still surprised," she lied horribly. She really was a terrible liar. Worse then Pinocchio.

Rory gave her mother a look, "Mom, please."

Lorelai gave Luke another quick look, he gave a discreet nod, then back at Rory and Chris. She sighed, "Why don't you stay with us for a couple of days?"

Chris smiled brightly back at her. The same smile that had gotten her into trouble all those years ago. Rory had gotten that smile. Lorelai couldn't resist that smile.

"Thanks, Lor. You won't even know I'm there," he said, "Hey Rory, you wanna go for a ride?"

Rory nodded excitedly.

"No you don't," Lorelai butted in.

"Yes she does," Chris argued.

"No you don't."

"Lorelai,"

She sighed, "Fine. You can go," she gave up (which was not a normal occurrence). Rory squealed excitedly, as she and Christopher ran back outside the diner and hopped on his motorcycle.

Lorelai watched them go, giving another soft sigh, "Christopher."

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't even have to think twice of who it could be. She knew exactly who it was, no guessing involved. It was the one guy in her life who had ever bothered to stick around.

* * *

**_Updates up ASAP.  
Please Review._**


	5. The Book

_Alright, updates are here. Things are stating to get a little busy on my end, so updates will probably become slower. But, you never know, I do have a bad habit of avoiding things whenever possible. _

_**Muffin is Injured: **Gasp! What a horrible over-sight! How can you ever forgive me? Alas, once again my laziness has gotten in the way of giving proper thanks where thanks is due. So, I offically bestow the number one ranter of all time award to you, Muffin. I'm sure you've worked long and hard to achieve such an honor, and we can all stand to learn a thing or two from your ranting ablilites. _

_**ZZtop: **You'll see what happens...lol. I'm not making any proimes about how closely I am going to stay to the original show storylines during this point in time. Thanks for the review._

_**Rusty Bedsprings: **Awww, thank-you. I love perfection. It truely is a nice place to be. lol. Thanks for the review._

_Thanks also need to go out to: **Kth524, LukeNlorelaifan, LorelaiAKACoffeeAddict, FanOfLOST, Lukeandlorelaiforever, javarox, GilmoreDanes4, Baby Girl Geller-Green, J. Stone, LLfreak, Beautiful Butterfly, ProFfeSser, LucyKevinfan, Ultimategilmoregirl, Sammi, Michaela, Cripticwolf, **and last but not least, **GilmoreGirlNumber27**_

* * *

It was the first time in years that Lorelai had actually dreaded going home. Usually that was the highlight of her day. Running into her house, screaming to Rory about this and that, and hearing Rory scream back the same kind of nonsense. But now he was there. It wasn't that she hated Christopher or anything, it was just that he had this uncanny way of always screwing things up for her. Things would be going great, then Christopher would just come up and turn everything upside town.

In fact, at one point, she swore that if she attempted to grow something in her garden (or at least he spot where there should be a garden), that he would walk by and everything would just die. Flowers would wilt before her eyes, grass would turn all the icky colors it turns when it's dead, lawn gnomes would fall over and kick their feet in the air screaming 'we surrender, we surrender!'.

But that was Chris. And he would always be a part of her life. Dead lawn gnome, or no dead lawn gnome. And she'd have to deal with that fact.

She pushed the door open slowly, instantly regretting coming home so soon. She could have wasted more time. She had Luke. And where there's Luke there's coffee, and her new found obsession, Luke's lips. But there were also townspeople, so that was more like Chinese water torture then gratification.

"Lucy, I'm home!" She cried out in her best Ricky Ricardo voice. She had to try and stay cool. Calm. Composed. Like James Bond kinda cool. Yes, she was Gilmore, Lorelai Gilmore.

"Hey Mom! We're in the kitchen!" Rory yelled back from her position.

"Channel Bond, channel Bond," Lorelai mumbled to herself as she walked towards the kitchen. "Hey you two, how did the bank job go today? Any causalities? Should we pull a Bonnie and Clyde and well I guess another Bonnie and escape town before they know it was us?" She put on her trademark grin as she walked into the kitchen where Chris and Rory sat together at the table, just talking.

"Well, while a Bonnie, Clyde, and Bonnie sounds highly appealing, I don't think it'd look so good on my college application," Rory reasoned.

"But, sweetie, we'd get you a new name and some plastic surgery so that nobody will recognize you," Lorelai smirked as she took a seat at the table.

"Yes, we spare no expense," Chris joined in.

Rory banged her hands down on the table, "Then that settles it! To the batcave, my good butler!"

"Wait," Chris interrupted with a chuckle, "I thought we were talking Bonnie and Clyde and Bonnie? When did we get to batman?"

Lorelai patted him on the shoulder, "You've been gone a long time, bucko. You've lost your talent in keeping up with us."

"Don't worry, he should get it back soon," Rory reasoned, "Just give him a couple of days of our insanity, and he'll finally understand."

"Ooh, maybe we'll finally have a third for our _Cop Rock _re-enactments. We've always needed a third," Lorelai grinned, "And I don't think Luke would be up to the challenge."

"Oh, really? Cause I heard he had a lovely singing voice," Rory said.

Lorelai nodded, "Yes, yes, lovely voice, but alas, he has two left feet. And everybody knows that you can't have two left feet and be on _Cop Rock_."

Chris held up his hands, "Well, I think you two have officially lost it."

"What? We were unofficially insane before hand?" Lorelai teased, "Trying to keep it on the DL were we?"

Chris turned to Rory, "The DL?"

"Down low, keep up, dad."

"Now how could I have missed that?"

Rory shrugged, "I don't know. It was a pretty hard one to miss."

"We'll forgive you in good time," Lorelai added with a smirk.

Chris shook his head, "You two are nuts," he chuckled, "So, quick change in gears here, Rory I was thinking we could spend the entire day, just the two of us. How does that sound?"

Rory smiled excitedly, "Well, I have to go to Dean's softball game, but we can do that together, right? Otherwise, I'm completely free."

Chris nodded, "All right then, kiddo, go do your girly stuff and we'll rendezvous right out front on the porch. Sound like a plan?"

Rory turned to her mom, "Girly stuff?"

"He means get ready."

"Ah, gotcha," she nodded, "And is this okay with you?"

Lorelai plastered on her best fake smile, "Of course, sweetie. I was even thinking about going to the game myself today, and I'd love to go with you two, if you don't mind."

Rory shook her head, "No, it'll be great! Okay, I'll meet you on the porch in five!" She shouted as she jumped out of her seat and ran into her bedroom to begin the proper getting ready procedures.

"Porch," Lorelai whispered quietly to Chris, as she stood up and walked towards the front of the house. He followed without question, no doubt anticipating such an occasion to arise during his stay.

Lorelai pulled the door snugly behind them, making sure Rory was still preoccupied with getting ready. "Why the hell are you here?" She whispered out angrily, wasting no time with small talk.

"You're gonna force me to lawyer up," he grinned back at her.

"Just answer the question, Chris."

"Ok look. I've been making some changes, especially my career and I think I finally have all my ducks lined up in a row."

Lorelai gave him a look, "You're opening a shooting gallery?"

He sighed, "I've been tying up loose ends in my life."

"Do they make that much string?"

"You know you've always had that verbal thing, quick mind," he mumbled, "It's annoying," he pointed out.

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "So you've been tying up loose ends," she tried for a bit more civil approach this time.

"I don't know how much your dad has told you but I'm on the verge of kind of a big success, it's for real this time. I've got a company with an actual cash flow, I've got employees, I've got an accountant for God's sake. He wears a tie and says words like 'fiduciary' and 'ironically'. I mean it's for real this time Lor."

Lorelai gave him an amused grin, "I would so love to believe this."

He sighed, "Look, we don't have much time, alright. I'm here because there are some things I need to take care of."

"Take care of? Like a mob would take care of something, or more of a mother hen type of thing? Perhaps something in between?"

Chris sighed in frustration, "I haven't been enough a part of Rory's life. So I wanna be around more, to be a pal she can depend on. I mean I'm not crazy, I know there's already a life going on here and God knows she doesn't need anyone besides you but," he paused, "If you give me a chance," he pleaded.

"I've always had the door to Rory open for you, you know that," Lorelai replied sternly.

"I know."

"And you've hardly ever used it."

"But, I want to change all that," he sighed.

"You're her father, Chris. I want you and her to have a relationship," she sighed, "Just remember that what you do has an impact on her, all right? Brake her, and I'll brake you."

"Noted."

"Alright then."

"So, she has a Dean?"

Lorelai nodded, "She has a Dean."

"How'd this happen?"

"Well a single-celled organism crawled out of primordial ooze and that pretty much lead to Dean," she smirked back at him.

"I need a beer," he said blankly.

Lorelai grinned, but before she could make another witty response, Rory bounded out the front door, smiling like an idiot.

"Hey, you slow pokes, ready!"

Lorelai started laughing, "Oh my god, you did not just call us 'slow pokes'!"

"I believe I did."

"Oh my god, oh my god, say 'last one there's a rotten egg'! Say it! Say it!"

Rory rolled her eyes, "Are you guys done discussing whatever it was that you were discussing or would you rather me go back in the house for another fifteen minutes pretending to look for my socks while you two crazy kids finish up?"

"Come on, overly smart for her own good," Lorelai teased, "We've got ourselves a ball game to watch."

Chris smiled, "Should I break out into song, or can you two cover it without me?"

Lorelai shook her head, "We're not in a very singing mood right now. We must prepare ourselves to make the most hilarious catcalls of all time, and that my friends, is a zen like state that takes years of perfection."

Chris turned to Rory, "Does she even know what she's talking about?"

She shrugged, "Who knows? I'm just here because I'm pretty."

* * *

The softball game was exactly what Lorelai and Rory had anticipated. Luke grumbling. Dean making humorous but could be considered on one side of the spectrum of things mean-spirited. Miss Patty swooning. Luke attempting to physically hurt and/or kill Kirk, thus leading to Kirk jumping off the bleachers and running back home. Apparently, from the look on his face, Chris had expected a little bit more out of their small, a little off center town. 

And minus the very few, but very effective, stolen glances that Luke and Lorelai shared, it was just another Saturday softball game in Stars Hallow.

Afterwards, per usual, Dean made his way over to Rory's general direction. And no matter how much the boy stunk, he always came over. Apparently, Rory came before cleanliness.

"Hey," he smiled at her.

Rory beamed back at him, "Hey. So, this is my dad, dad this is Dean," she introduced proudly.

Lorelai took this chance to sneak off and head towards Luke, who was leaning against one of the fences casually. Nothing out of the ordinary about Lorelai talking to Luke. No sir-y. Not a thing.

"Hey you," Lorelai smiled, keeping a friendly distance away.

Luke turned and smiled at her, "I wasn't sure if you would come."

"And miss this great game? Never."

He nudged his head in Chris, Rory, and Dean's general direction, "So how's things going with,"

Lorelai shrugged, "He wants to spend more time with Rory. Says he needs to tie up loose ends, and apparently Rory is one of them."

"A loose end? Rory?" Luke mumbled out in disbelief, "God, she isn't even my kid and I would never think of her as a loose end."

Lorelai smiled at him, "You've gone soft, Luke," she teased playfully.

"Spread that around and I'll tell everyone in the world that you and Rory not only like, but obsess over _Friends_," he teased.

"My lips are sealed."

Luke smiled at her, "So, ah, there's this book," he made out uncomfortably, "In my apartment. Y'know, the one I was telling you about. The one that you'd like."

Lorelai gave a knowing smile, but nodded along, "Oh, yeah. That book," she made out mechanically, "Hey, can I come and get it now? If you're not doing anything."

"Why, yes, that sounds like a great idea. Let's go get the book."

"Ah, yes. Not just any book. The book. The book to end all books," Lorelai tried to keep down a chuckle. If secretly dating had any perks, it was this. Knowing something that nobody else knows, and flaunting it to some degree in front of them, without them even picking up on it.

Luke gave her a look.

"I'm gonna go and tell Chris and Rory that I'm going to go with you to your apartment to borrow the book you said I would like. I can not wait any longer to read the book," Lorelai continued in her mechanic voice. The kind that really bad wanna-be actors and actresses (or if you wanted to be really smart, thespians) (which is not to be confused with lesbians, both are entirely different things) use when performing and people ridicule later. The amusing kind.

"I'll meet you at the diner, then," Luke smiled knowingly.

Lorelai gave a short nod, before they parted ways (without a kiss, one of the downsides to having a secret relationship) and she way back towards her possy. Yes, her possy.

"Hey guys," she butted herself into the conversation happily, "Luke's got this book for me, so I'm gonna go and get that," she turned to Rory and Chris, "You two have fun with your bonding," she turned to Dean, "And Dean, umm, nice commentary."

Dean gave a little chuckle, "Well I work on it all week."

"I thought so," Lorelai teased, "All right, so I'll see you two at home then, all right? Bond away!" She rushed out, before turning and bolting for Luke's.

Chris arched an eyebrow, "What's with your mother?"

Rory shrugged, "She's crazy like that," she reasoned, "So, Dean, I will see you later tonight, and Dad, let's go bond, all right?"

Dean smiled, "Am I really that smelly?"

"Yes, now go and take a shower. Perhaps two."

"Fine, fine. I'll pretend to not be insulted by that," he teased, giving her a quick peck on the forehead before turning and heading home.

"So that was Dean," Chris commented.

"Yep. That's Dean."

"And you're mother?"

"Still crazy."

"All seems well, then. We can bond away! Where to, kiddo?"

"Actually, there's a bookstore that I love just over there," she pointed towards Andrew's bookstore.

"Alright then, the bookstore it is!"

* * *

**_Updates up ASAP  
Please Review._**


	6. A Kook and a Diner Owner

_I'VE RETURNED FROM THE DEAD! _

_(Well, sorta)_

_Anyways, sorry things got really backed-up there for awhile. But I'm back for the time being with a little less sanity, and a whole lot heathlier of a computer! (I mighta contracted a virus or too recently...heh..anyways). Sorry again that updates have been taking me so long, but I hope this chapter was worth your wait!_

_**Muffin: **How could I have made such a tragic mistake and missed the Vaccum Song! Gah, it's like my downfall in some Greek Tradgey, quick somebody grab me a needle so I can gouge my eyes out! (Sorry, haven't read Oedipus in three years but have had it recently on me mind...I really need sleep...I miss it terribly). _

_And I'm sorry about the use of the script. I'm such a hypocrite, I complain to people about using it then I go and use it in my own story. I tried to pear it down to as little as possible, but I couldn't get away from it when I'm doing it in episode time. And I've tried to think of a million other ways of doing it, but I really want to stick true to the timeline (which is something I have issues with being a mainly AU writer...damn the conformity), but I really couldn't find any other way then to stick a little of it in there. _

_But you are one smart cookie, figuring out that whole book thing. You know what you deserve a treat for that! Go get yourself a cookie. Or a brownie. Hell, get yourself a special brownie if that's what your into. lol. Drug references are fun. _

_Long ramble short, thanks again for the always entertaining review. Hugs and kisses. _

_Also thanks go out to: **Gilmoregrl519, Baby Girl Geller-Green, GilmoreGirlKK, Daphnetjuh, BeautifulButterfly, The27thGilmore, Gilmoremajorfan, Rusty Bedsprings** (my forever and always #1 gal!), **LucyKevinFan, LLFreak8285, UltimateGilmoreGirl, Javarox, ZZTop, ProFfeSsOr **(Ha! I think I've finally got that name down!), **Trixie McBimbo, Ally, E, Daize90, Cameron, Gerty, Sara, Midnite Star Watcher, Sammi, Shawnee89, xxAllyxx, Aurorita, **and **m**_

_Again, sorry for all the delays, but without further ado I present to you (ha, I rhymed!) my beloved CHAPTER SIX. _

* * *

Being the town kook had its advantages. Such as when you're trying to hide a secret relationship from pretty much the rest of the world, yet practically holding up a neon sign that says 'I'm about to go make-out with Luke!', and getting away with it is definitely one of them. 

So, seeing Lorelai Gilmore run up the stairs into Luke's apartment, after seeing Luke run up the stairs only moments earlier is not that strange of a sight in Stars Hallow. This action barely raised an eyebrow from even Taylor Doose, an angry yell towards Luke for not letting him in the diner the previous day perhaps, but a raised eyebrow, never.

Because it was just Lorelai being Lorelai, and Luke reacting to Lorelai being Lorelai in a very Luke being Luke fashion.

In fact, even the generally extremely alert Miss Patty just calmly sipped her coffee and turned to her usual partner-in-crime, Babette, and said, "Heard anything good recently?"

Babette just sighed, "Been havin' a bit of a dry spell, haven't we? Biggest news was Rory gettin' that 'A' on that Chilton paper of hers or somethin'."

"You said it."

And that was the extent of the reaction to Lorelai and Luke's frantic sprint across the diner. Now, upstairs was an entirely different matter. As soon as Lorelai entered the room, Luke met her with a series of mind-blowing kisses—another plus to having a secret relationship, words are not vital when meeting up to make-out.

They stumbled through the apartment, tripping on this and that, but thankfully having the other person there to stabilize their position once again, and fumbling with various articles of clothing, until they reached the foot of Luke's twin-sized bed (something Lorelai was going to have to have a talking about later), and collapsed on to it, never once loosing touch of the other.

And the while, the two biggest gossips this side of the Mississippi (and most likely the other side as well), plus the nosiest town in the history of small towns sat in a clueless stupor below them, casually chomping on bits of greasy goodness.

* * *

Lorelai drifted in and out between la-la land and a sort of half-sleep, cuddled up snugly next to Luke, partially because she wanted to be there, and partially because there really wasn't anywhere else to go on his twin bed. She could feel Luke slowly running his fingers through her hair, whether consciously or subconsciously didn't really matter to her.

It just felt right.

And that was something she was really going to have to get used to feeling. Before all that had been there was a desperate desire to run fast. Not actually run, more like dart away while he wasn't looking, because let's face it Lorelai and running never really even fit well in a sentence together unless it was some kind of sick joke.

"What are we going to tell them?" Luke blurted out, busting up her inner monologue.

"What?" She asked lazily, "Who?"

"The town," he corrected, "We can't keep this secret thing up forever. Sooner or later they're bound to notice something's up."

"I know," she sighed softly, "But before we get into a huge powwow on telling them, I'd like to make a motion to change the subject briefly."

"Motion approved."

"I'd like to put in an official request for a full sized bed. Come on man, what the hell were you thinking? A twin sized bed for a bachelor! Crazy."

"And where the hell do you, in this motion of yours, propose I put said full sized bed?"

"Somewhere. You're magic. I'm sure you'll find a way."

"Sure thing, genius. Motion to change the subject back to previous, possibly more important subject?"

"Motion denied," she shot back, "This is totally more important then the stupid town!"

"How so?"

"Well, if you had let me finish my argument then maybe you would know. I had the floor you know. And it's your own damn fault too. You gave me your permission."

Luke let out a little chuckle at her antics, "Well, excuse me. I was not aware that you still had the floor on this matter."

"Well, you see, a twin sized bed prompts many problems, such as the reading in bed problem. We cannot both comfortably read in bed without A) hitting each other with our separate books, therefore ruining the reading experience or B) falling off the bed."

"All right, two problems with that argument: A) You don't read and B) I'd like to see a demonstration of said falling off the bed, I'm not sure I'm buying into it's physical capabilities."

She stuck her tongue out at him in true Lorelai Gilmore fashion and grumbled a quick, "You're a loser," to officially finish off the insult.

Luke just smiled, "So, did you tell Chris?"

"Tell him what?"

"About this."

"Oh," Lorelai paused, "No."

"Oh."

"Would you?"

Luke shrugged, "Probably not," he sighed, "So how are we gonna tell the town?"

"Well, I move that we each get t-shirts, y'know those graphic ones? Mine can be pink and yours can be blue, because we wouldn't want to insult your masculinity by making you wear pink even though pink looks extremely hot on guys,"

"Point," Luke reminded her.

"Oh, yeah, any ways, yours could say 'boyfriend' and mine could say 'girlfriend' and we could just wear them for awhile and hope the town gets the hint," she smiled hopefully.

Luke arched an eyebrow, "I do hope you're not serious with that."

"Why wouldn't I be? It's the path of least resistance, I think."

"For who?"

"Us, of course! Let Rory fend off all the hungry wolves with questions about our matching t-shits!"

"Why don't we just get each other's picture on the back of them so that there are no questions," Luke said dryly.

"Now you're thinking!" She gave him a quick peck on the cheek in congratulations, "Now, you think Kirk would make the t-shirts for us? He probably has a business doing that somewhere. Ooh, maybe it's in the Caribbean somewhere. Along with his offshore accounts to hold all of his millions from all of the jobs he's had over the past few years. I mean, how many jobs does that guy have? He's everywhere! How the hell does he swing it?"

"Maybe he's magic."

"Or like Tara Reid in _Josie and the Pussycats_, although she only wanted to be in two rooms at once, she couldn't actually make it happen."

"Who the hell is Tara Reid?"

"Boob girl at Puff Daddy's Birthday Party."

"Oh, her."

"And then you add 'what a slut' to the end of that for your girlfriend's peace of mind."

Luke rolled his eyes, "What a slut," he added dryly.

Lorelai stifled a giggle.

"Back on topic here, telling the town, yay or nay?"

Lorelai snuggled her head in closer to him, not that it was physically possible, she was already laying on him and that was about as close as you could get in the physical word. Now if one of them had been a ghost or something to that extent, you could go right through the other person, but that really wasn't important.

"I say," she mumbled, "We just let them figure it out on their own. Their nosey enough. I have complete faith in them."

"What about Chris, you gonna tell him?"

"Can you keep a secret man," Lorelai teased, "I mean, what if you were a CIA agent or something, or ooh, ooh, what if you were gay and you didn't want anyone else to know!"

Luke rolled his eyes, "Just answer the question."

Lorelai sighed, "Yea. Yea, I'm gonna tell him. I just want to wait until the timing's right, you know? There was no need to stir up problems today, I mean Rory's happy, he's happy, I'm, well, I'm here so that has to mean something."

"Here as in here with me or here as in here on earth?"

"Here as in here on earth, not going insane. You know, you play the part of the aloof, I don't care what people think about me, brooding guy, but deep down you're just an insecure, sensitive, rather self-centered guy," she teased.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Come here,"

"On earth or to you?"

He pulled her in closer and kissed her lightly, "Does that answer your question?"

She shrugged, "It's still a little cloudy."

He kissed her again, but this time more forcefully.

"Hmm, it's getting there," she smiled as she leaned in for another set of kisses. "You think mom and pop will stay downstairs?" She made out in between kisses.

"What?"

"Well I do feel like a teenager going as far as they think they can before mom and dad walk in and find out what they're doing, so, yeah, the comment seemed to fit."

Luke rolled his eyes, "I think we're good."

Lorelai smiled faintly, "I think so too," she whispered to him before they both leaned in for another set of passionate, beginning of an amazing, foot-popping relationship kisses.

* * *

_I was a little bit worried about the Luke/Lorelai interaction, but I think it came off okay. But you guys know the drill. I love hearing your comments so..._

**_Updates up soon.  
Please Review._**


	7. Tom Cruise

_How was that was a quicker update? You guys should be proud. _

_**Marcel-Marceau-Chicken: **Hello there, Andrea True Connection! Heard any good disco songs lately? lol. I sincerly hope you get that, if not, you are a very deprived child. Thank-you for all of the praise, I'm glad your liking my set-up. It may not be the most original premise for a fic, but let's face it, we all need a little fluff once in a while! And I am so jealous of your FRIENDS collection. I only have S5, but I want them all. I'm excited for S10 to come out, and asking for it for Christmas probably won't hurt me in my quest to own them all! Thanks again._

_**ProFfeSseR: **All right, I know it got your name right this time! (Copy and Paste works wonders...don't know why I didn't think to use it before...hmm..maybe it was the thrill of the challenge...). I was a little worried last chapter about if they were truly in-character or not. I mean, it was amusing dialouge, and it could be like a 'When Harry met Sally' type of thing (think deli scene), but nobody seemed too bothered by it, so I'm not going to worry anymore. Thanks for the review. Peace out, babe._

_**Dayzy27: **Glad I caught you. Hope this chapter was up soon enough for your likings. Cause, let's face it, it's not going to get any better then that speed. My brain is fried. Thanks for the review._

_**Val: **"Oh my giddy giddy god"? Never heard that before. Very amusing though. Might have to throw that in a conversation somewhere (in real life that is...I need a follow up to "yo, yo, what is up me homies?"). Thanks for the review._

_**Naom: **Nope, no sex. Get your mind out of the gutter. lol. I thought I had hinted to it enough when I had Lorelai say something about them acting like teenagers...don't exactly remember the line, but this chapter should make it more clear to anyone that had doubts. Sorry I didn't make it clear enough in the last chapter. Thanks for the review._

_**Vandi80: **Glad I didn't let anyone down with the last chapter. That always sucks when your waiting for a new chapter in a fic that you absoultely love, then you see that there's been a new posting, and you get all excited, and it's nothing. No good. It really ruins your day. Glad your enjoying my fic enough to want to re-read it. Thanks for the review._

_**Rusty Bedsprings: **Hee, hee, Baited Breath? We're so Shakespearian. (I think that would make a bigger impact if I could actually spell it, eh?)._

_**xxAllyxx: **Gotta have the dramatic irony. Makes for so many amusing scenes. Thanks for the review._

_**FanOfLOST: **Ah, LOST, it's like a drug. What was with the repeat episodes for two weeks! I didn't know what to do! lol. I'm still waiting for massive injections of Charlie and Claire cuteness to arrive. Anyways, going on to what I'm supposed to be rambling about here, you're too kind in your reviews (:batteres eyelashes:). Feel free to keep them comming, however. Don't mean to discourage you. lol. _

_**Orangesherbert7: **While I appericate the helpful guidance on the direction of this, I think I'm just going to leave the t-shirt thing as a joke. It might be a little too out there for that to realisticly happen, and I'm doing my best here to keep them in character. It's a struggle, I'm going against all of my AU-tendencies here (but even then, I try to keep the characters as in-character as possible), but the idea was well-recieved. Thanks for the review._

_**Erica Bing: **GASP! The ERICA BING? Reviewing one of MY fics? God, you as possibly one of the best writers on the site, I love your stories, and you have no idea how excited I was to not only see your name but see that you liked my fic. I know I'm rambling on like a fangirl at this point in time, but don't mind me. Oh, and, feel free to go back to the FRIENDS fics. I loved your Chandler and Monica fics, not that your GILMORE GIRLS ones aren't just as grand, we've just gone through a series of crap fics mainly in the FRIENDS section, which is unbelieveably annoying. I mean, where have all the good authors gone? (And why must they leave unfinished fics?). Anyways, I'm really off-topic there. Thank-you so much for the review, it meant a lot to me. Granted that really doesn't mean a whole lot to you, seeing as how we've never met and all, but y'know..._

_Anyways, I'd love to write personal messages to every single one of you, but I just don't have the time! I'm sorry! But **LukeloveLoreali, M, Luke'sgirl, Lollysamantha, Javarox, **and **Dephnetjuh** thank-you just the same. _

_And a quick little shout-out to **Muffin**: Where have you gone! I missed the complete random-ness I so look forward to at every post last time! It hurt. (Ohh, Elementary School flashback..."Eye" messages: I don't like it when you don't ramble in a review...I kid you not, we actually said those...lol). _

* * *

Kirk had been sent on a mission. He was like James Bond and that guy from Mission Impossible that Tom Cruise played, hell he was Tom Cruise, and some sort of Frank and Joe Hardy mixture combined. His mission, since had had chosen to accept it, was to find Luke. 

It was terrible, really, Caesar had some sort of accident in the back. What kind of accident they really weren't sure, Babette was talking all high and screechy, and she's hard to understand when she's talking like that, but none-the-less there had been an accident. Perhaps involving a fall and a radio. They had heard a loud crash, and then the radio cut off, but that would be jumping to conclusions.

And Tom Cruise wouldn't jump to conclusions. Frank and Joe might, but they were only part of his identity. The Tom Cruise element balanced out their youthful jumpy-ness to conclusions.

The entire dinner had witnessed Luke and Lorelai heading up to his apartment about an hour ago, and nobody had seen them leave yet, so it was a safe assumption that Luke was still up in his apartment, with Lorelai. Which was strange, because usually they came down rather quickly after that, Luke usually wearing a different outfit then he previously had been and then they'd go off to some function or another that Lorelai had somehow managed to rope Luke into doing.

But that was not apart of his mission.

With renewed focus, he carefully crept to Luke's closed door, listening to everything around him. He had to be at full alert. Anything could happen.

Not hearing anything definitive, Kirk slowly reached his hand upwards towards the knob, preparing himself to turn. And, being quite the gentleman, he would have to announce his presence as he opened the door, because it would be rude to walk into somebody's home unannounced. He may have been bending a few of the gentleman's rules with that, but he was Tom Cruise now, and Tom Cruise wouldn't lose this opportunity due to the lack of gentlemen-ness involved.

He pushed open the door yelling, "Luke!" Then he stopped, mid-swing. What he saw would forever be burned into his mind. Luke and Lorelai. Kissing. Or rather had been kissing. Apparently he had scared them a little, which might have caused both of them to fall off the bed.

Luke reacted first, "Kirk!"

Followed quickly by Lorelai, "You see! This is why you need a bigger bed!"

"Oh my god," Kirk turned to go and tell the rest of the diner, mission be dammed. If Tom Cruise had gotten a tidbit this juicy he would have said 'see ya' too.

But Luke was faster. Using what only could be assumed to be his super-hero-like powers, he pushed himself off of the floor and bolted at Kirk, grabbing his arm and shutting the door in one quick motion.

"Damn," Lorelai muttered impressed by the show of agility, "Never knew I was making out with the Flash."

"Focus, would ya!" Luke shouted back at her, before returning his attention to Kirk, "Kirk, what the hell are you doing up here! This is my home! You don't just walk into people's homes! That's breaking and entering!"

"I was Tom Cruise."

Luke looked to Lorelai for some sort of explanation.

She shrugged, "Focus," she mocked doing her best Luke impression.

He rolled his eyes, "All right," he sighed, "I give up. Why would Tom Cruise be breaking into my apartment?"

Kirk smirked, "Patty and Babette sent me on a mission. So I had to be Tom Cruise. Duh."

"Mission?" Lorelai asked quickly, "What kind of mission?"

"Caesar had some kind of accident downstairs, they wanted me to come and get you. Now if they knew this had been going on up here, they might have sent me with a video camera."

"Kirk," Luke said warningly.

"You want my silence, don't you?" He smirked back, "Well that can be achieved, but at a price, my dear friend. You see, we live in the information age. Tidbits like this just don't come around every day, you see."

"What the hell do you want Kirk?" Luke barked back at him.

"Hey, umm, shouldn't we be a bit more concerned about Caesar. I mean the man had an accident enough for them to send Kirk to find you," Lorelai pointed out but her comment fell on death ears.

"Well," Kirk drew out his words, "You might look at it as a business venture of sorts."

"No, Kirk."

"Perhaps if you would listen to my offer, you might just be intrigued. Because I am currently making you an offer you can't refuse."

Luke rolled his eyes, "You can't quote _The Godfather_ to get yourself out of this mess, Kirk!"

"My mess! How is this my mess?"

"It just is, Kirk."

"Try a new proposal, Kirk," Lorelai offered, "Don't think this fish is biting."

"All right, for my silence, it will cost you, one million dollars."

"And where the hell do you propose I get a million dollars?"

"Bank job," Lorelai proposed, "Wearing our matching 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' t-shirts. I'll be a two-in-one. Killing two birds with one stone. Whatever you feel like falling it, it'll be."

He shot her a look.

"Or not," she gave Kirk a quick look, "Danger Will Robinson, danger!" She whispered hoarsely to Kirk, preparing him for the near-to Luke Rant. And while Taylor might be able to hold his own in a Luke rant, Kirk, however, was not as physically or verbally blessed.

Kirk, getting the message, said sheepishly, "Or just a couple of free burgers here and there," then added shortly, "But that's my finial offer! Refusal will lead to me running down stairs and shouting it to the entire town on a megaphone!"

Luke sighed, "Deal. You'll get free food for awhile. But just until we're ready to tell. Then, you're payin' for it, got it?"

Kirk nodded, and held out his hand. Luke just gave him a look. A Luke look, if you would.

"Luke, this is an official deal. This is how you close and official deal. How am I supposed to ensure that I will get my free food without a handshake to fall back on?"

"Is the blackmail not enough for ya?"

"Luke,"

"Fine, all right, all right," he shook Kirk's hand quickly, "I promise you'll get free food and such. Is that good enough for you?"

"Wonderful. And I hereby promise that I will not spread the word of what you were doing to Lorelai when I walked up into here until you tell the town first," then he turned to Lorelai, "Now, Lorelai, if you are interested in making those 'boyfriend/girlfriend' t-shirts I heard you mention earlier, which might I add is a brilliant idea that I will have to borrow some day,"

"Get to the point, Kirk," Lorelai reminded him.

"Oh, yea, right, I have a supplier who owes me a favor, and I would be glad to get them for you. For a price that is. You see, nothing is business is free,"

"Thanks, Kirk," Lorelai cut him off, "But I don't think we'll be needing any t-shits in the near future. I was just kidding about that one."

"Are you sure? Because it would be no problem. They don't even have to be 'boyfriend/girlfriend' t-shits. I'm sure you and Rory have some sort of mother-daughter joke that you would both love to see on t-shirts, and I can make that happen."

"I'm good, Kirk," Lorelai said sternly, "Now what's wrong with Caesar?"

"Oh, Caser, I completely forgot about him!" Kirk shouted, "He fell down in the kitchen, nobody really knew what was wrong with him, but Patty called an ambulance, and then told me to come and find you, then I got distracted because of all the kissing and then the blackmailing, which leads me to now,"

Lorelai clapped her hands together, "Kirk!"

He stopped talking.

"I'm going downstairs," Luke blurted out, "He probably just over-heated again. It happens." He walked over to Lorelai and gave her a quick peck on the head.

"Awe, now isn't that cute," Kirk swooned.

"Mention it, and your free food is gone," Luke grumbled as he walked out of the apartment.

"Right. My lips are sealed. Like zippers. Or a Ziploc bag."

Lorelai shook her head, "I'd better get going. Nice doing business with you, Kirk."

He nodded sternly, "You too, Lorelai. And you can count on me!"

"I'm sure I can, Kirk."

* * *

Lorelai sauntered down the small flight of stairs that separated the diner from Luke's apartment, a goofy grin still on her face. She couldn't help but wonder if Luke had a similar one. Those grins would probably be their demise, even without the matching t-shirts. Because while Lorelai may grin like that for no good reason, Luke, however, was not the grinning type unless provoked. And, generally speaking, Lorelai was that provocation.

"What happened here, sir?" She heard a male voice, but she couldn't place it. Probably an out-of-towner or something. Generally speaking, most of the Stars Hallow regulars at Luke's had pretty distinctive voices. Or at least voices that she would recognize, being co-Queen regular.

"I don't know, I wasn't down here," Luke's strained voice came over next, as she pulled away the curtain. Everyone had vacated their usual spots, and seemed to have formed a large huddle in the kitchen area. Then she remembered Caesar.

"Is he okay!" Lorelai shouted as she hustled over towards the large mob of people.

"Where have you been, dear!" Babette squealed, "Poor Caesar fell and hit his head, we've been lookin' all over for Luke and you! Where did you guys go?"

Lorelai shrugged, "Oh, we were just upstairs." No more no less. Just write it off as no big deal. That way, it doesn't invite questions.

"Didn't you hear the fall? It was really loud!"

"We were watching a movie," Lorelai added. "Then Kirk came up and got us. Don't know what happened to him, though. I think he's still up there. Should we send a search party?" Another great strategy, send them off in a different direction. Not quite the same as changing the subject, but just as effective without the risks of somebody noticing.

"Ah, I think he'll be okay. If he's not down in fifteen minutes we can just yell at him or somethin'. He usually responds to yelling."

"Oh, okay," Lorelai smiled and wandered over towards Luke, casually. He would know what's going on the most, right? And she wanted to know what was going on. Nothing strange happening there. Nope.

"Hey," Luke greeted her.

"Who's this?" The man she had hear earlier, apparently an EMT (the uniform kinda gave it away), asked.

"Who me?"

"Yes you."

Lorelai smirked, "Couldn't be," she teased.

"What?" The EMT looked at her like she was nuts.

"This is Lorelai. Now, what's wrong with Caesar?" Luke refocused the EMT, giving Lorelai a quick glare.

"I'm fine, Luke, really," Caesar mumbled from his position on the floor, holding an ice pack to his head. "I think the only damage was the radio."

"Which we'll get to later," Luke grumbled at Caesar, then he returned his attention to the EMT, "Now, is he going to be okay?"

The EMT shrugged, "He might have a concussion, so if I were you, I'd send him down to the hospital so that we could run some tests and make sure."

"All right, you heard the man, Caesar, you're going to the hospital."

"No, Luke, I'm fine, really."

Lorelai bent down next to Caesar, "Hey, Caesar," she smiled down at him. It was a dangerous smile, to say the least. She had won many an argument with it, and also ended up with a kid because of it, but it evened out in the wide scope of things.

"Hey, Lorelai," he smiled back at her.

"You really should get your head checked out, Caesar."

"I know."

"Well, why don't you want to go, then?"

He looked around quickly, then motioned for her to come more closely. Lorelai obliged and leaned her head down closer, "I hate hospitals," he whispered to her.

Lorelai smiled even brighter, "Well, how about this, if you go I'll promise I'll talk to Luke about the radio, deal?"

"You really think he'd let me listen to it more?"

Lorelai nodded, "I think I might be able to win you some radio listening points, but only if you go and get your head checked out."

"All right," he grumbled, "Deal."

Lorelai stood back up, "Glad to be of service, take him away, EMT guy!"

Happy, grateful, and above all else, confused, the EMT helped Caesar up off the ground, then helped him navigate through the mob towards the ambulance parked just outside.

As they loaded Caesar into the ambulance, Luke leaned over and whispered into her ear, "The radio goes."

Lorelai smirked, "We'll see."

* * *

**_Updates up ASAP.  
Please Review._**


	8. Angelia, Brad, and Viggo

_All right, I'm back for the time being. Chrirstmas break is comming up, which means I'll have lots of free time to work...and lot's of time before then to think about my fics because let's face it I'm way too cool for school._

_**Hamlets-Pirate: **Thanks for the compliment about the Kirk-senario. It took me a couple of drafts to get there, but I'm glad I finally thought of it. Kirk is an amusing character who I haven't really given much of a role in my previous fics. He was more just stated as being there instead of an important part to the story. Not to say that this story has anything important what-so-ever, it truely a pointless fluff piece, but I guess a better term would be starring. Or co-starring. _

_And yay for the angry girl music. I have a whole CD just devoted to the 90's angry girl music types. It's quite grand to listen to when you're in certian moods. Although, I haven't quite gotten over the whole Alannis not being angry thing yet. I miss the "You Outta Know"'s of her CD's. While her latest one was still good, don't get me wrong, it just wasn't Alannis to me, y'know. _

_Anyways, getting off topic here. Thanks for the review. Good luck with the whole brain-reverse-phyc thing._

_**ProFfeSseR: **Well, we'll just have to wait and see on the whole Kirk thing, now won't we? Thanks for the reivew._

_**Luke&Lorelai Together Forever: **Which part longer? The chapters or the whole story? I was a little confused to say the least. Thanks, though._

_**Muffin: **I'm sorry! I didn't get your review until after I posted! I love you! I love you! Please take me back! I love you! (Is that not the universal excuse?). So, the guns joke was quite entertaining, but, I still must stick with my forever favorite cheesy joke: What's black, white, green, and red all over? beat. Two cows fighting over a piece of celery. So amused._

_So, hope your head feels better. I never exactly injured myself jumping on the bed. I did everything else though. Fell down the stairs, ran into a couple of walls, I think I even ran into a door once, got my hand shut in a car door (lovely sensastion by the way), fell up the stairs, tripped, and otherwise did clutzy things. Although, I can never beat my friend Cathy who ran into a door knob. I haven't quite figured out the physics of the thing yet, but I did bare witness, and it did in fact happen. One of my fondest memories of middle school. Actually, it's probably my only fond memory of middle school. :shudders:_

_And the geometry teacher Dawson's Creek thing is kinda sketchy. Although, my geometry teacher had a poster of Evanessance on his wall, so I guess I can kinda relate. Geometry is a scary place, man. It does strange things to people. _

_Glad to know I can still be entertaining. My wit is lost on some people. Take for example when we were taking this survey for the school paper last year about how much you cheat per any given year. And all the people around me where sharing their great cheating stories, then turned me and said "Well?" And I just said "I don't have any stories." And they said "Why not?" And I said "Because I don't need to cheat." _

_They didn't understand the insult behind that. _

_Well, if your worried about story-moving-ness, you probably won't be too pleased at this chapter either. Just another little what's happening during this point in time for my sheer amusement edition. I really gotta stop that. _

_Thank-you, for both reviews. And again, I'M SO SORRY! I LOVE YOU! Much, much love being sent here. Like five times Romeo and Juliet kind of love here. Just not as sucidal. _

_**Brandy: **I'm glad I caught you. And who know's what will happen at the dinner. I don't even know yet. I just write what I feel, baby. I'm the hippi verison of fanfic writers. lol. Thanks for the reivew._

_**Daphnetujuh: **How's that? Did I do it right? I'm sorry about last time! I always get so annoyed when people spell my name wrong (not Anwa, b/c if someone spelled that wrong I'd be concerned, my actual birth name that people refer to me as). But, I have been known to be a frequent mis-speller (just as ProFfeSsoR). Thanks for the reivew, though._

_Thanks also need to go out to: **RoyalHoney, LukeLovesLorelai, m, FanOfLOST, Hoam, OrangeSherbet7, Franala, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Luke's Girl, LukeLorelai-en, Marcel-Marceau Chicken, **and **xxAllyxx. **All reivews were greatly appericated. _

* * *

"So, your mom and Luke seem pretty chummy," Chris pointed out as he and Rory walked around Stars Hallow. Around being used loosely here, actually they were just going to the book store and in order to get to it had to go through several other parts of town. And by several, we mean in Stars Hallow terms. More like a city block in New York terms.

Rory nodded, "Yeah, well, they're, umm, the friendly-type," she offered back awkwardly. "I think in some circles they might be referred to as BFF's. Y'know, best friends."

"What's with the other 'f'?"

"Well a BF, is a boyfriend, and mom and Luke certainly aren't that. Nope. No sir-y. That'd be a term for Dean. Dean's a BF. Although, I guess he could be a BFF as well as a BF, but I think the BFF is implied in the BF. At least I think."

"So then is a girlfriend called a GF?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Are you crazy?"

"That's a relative term. Some people who others might deem mentally unstable, others might deem geniuses. Like Marilyn Manson."

"No, he's misunderstood not mentally unstable."

"What about Liza Minelli?"

"Only unstable the later part of her career, y'know the whole marrying David Gest part of it, and I really don't think anyone would call her a genius."

"All right, fair enough, Sinead O'Connor."

"I don't think she was too well liked after that whole SNL incident," Rory smiled, "Come one let's face it, you can't think of a single person!"

"This isn't as easy as it looks. Like you can come up with a better one then me?"

"Yes, actually. Michael Jackson,"

"Oh, come on! He's an obvious one! I was going for obscure!"

"Woody Allen, Anna Nichole Smith, Angelina Jolie, Mike Tyson, Kurt Cobain,"

"Sinner!"

"Hey! He was a mentally unstable genius. I only speak the truth."

"Whatever, Toulouse."

"Kevin Costner,"

"Okay, you'll have to defend that one."

"Hey the Europeans love _Water World_, us, on the other hand, understand it as the point in his career where Kevin because to lose it."

"All right, is there more?"

Rory grinned, "Of course. I had lots of time to think about this while you rambled on about nothing. And there are a lot of mentally unstable celebrities. And don't even get me started on classical figures in history, literature, and music, because let's face it, all of them where a little off."

"Hey!"

"It's true," she teased, "There's also Joan and Melissa Rivers, Elizabeth Berkley lost it after _Saved by the Bell!_"

"That's to say _Saved by the Bell!_ Was a smart move to begin with."

"She made money, did she not?"

He sighed, "Fine, fine, you got any final arguments to make?"

"Yes, for the fest de résistance, Anne Heche."

"I don't think I can ague with that one."

"I still maintain it was the mother ship calling her home."

"Or perhaps leaving her here for us to deal with. It's not like they'd want her."

"Apparently Ellen did."

"Yes, but I think that might fall under our temporarily insane category. I mean, after all, they did eventually break up and she did move onto Portia."

Rory nodded, "A good, solid relationship if you ask me. I think it'll last forever. They'll be like Sonny and Cher. Without the singing and minus the break-up."

Chris laughed, "I think I'm getting my powers back."

"You're finally catching up to our logic. I'm proud."

"All right, we're here, what new books do you need?"

"Need or want?"

He gave her a look.

"The want version of need, got it."

* * *

Miss Patty scooted up shoulder to shoulder with Lorelai, just trying to act as nonchalant as possible about it. Granted, the it was Patty nonchalant, and fact that Lorelai not only noted but made a mental note that Patty was there did express the amount of nonchalant-ness that Patty currently possessed.

"So, Lorelai," Patty sang, "You and Luke were upstairs in his apartment for quite some time. It was funny that you two didn't hear poor Caesar's accident. It really was quite awful. And loud. Very loud. I think even Taylor heard it from across the street."

"Well, you know me and Luke. Both easily distracted people," Lorelai smiled brightly and as naturally as possible. Although, her smiling strangely wasn't exactly odd. Actually, it was more to be expected.

"And I noticed that Luke closed up early last night and was late coming in this morning. Funny how that worked out."

"Well, I'm sure he told you what happened."

"Why, yes, he mentioned something about you two having a movie night or something. Which is strange, because I never saw Luke as the movie type."

"Well, you know Luke. Mr. Mysterious. He's like the Lurch of Stars Hallow."

"Yes, yes, I understand. But he was so mysterious on the details of it all that I didn't know what to think. I mean what it a date, was it not a date? Did Rory get trapped underneath her bookshelf and that's why he was there all night, or did something break, I mean, I just want to know if I should be concerned."

Lorelai shook her head, "Nope. No need for concern. We just feel asleep, Patty."

"Just feel asleep?"

"Yea, during the movie. Luke must have thought it was boring, although that's practically sinful in my book, and Rory was house-sitting so I was all by my lonesome. So, yea, I did fall asleep too."

"You just feel asleep?"

"Yea. It happens. Although, maybe I should get checked out, y'know. Just in case," she teased.

Patty laughed, "Oh, no, that's quite all right. I just couldn't quite grasp the whole you falling asleep during a movie bit. I think you were the only person in the world that can watch _Water World_ from start to finish in one sitting."

"Well there is a lot of mocking involved. Reenactments are a must. But seeing as how I did not have my usual partner with me, and Luke is not the thespian I thought he'd be, we had to settle for just watching the movie. Shame really. He could have been a star if he just let go."

Luke walked over to her portion of the counter, "That pronoun in that sentence better not have been me," he grumbled. "Coffee?"

Lorelai grinned back, "Seriously, you're asking?"

"Well this morning you wanted herbal tea. Thought I might check," he commented as he refilled her glass. "You want anything, Patty."

"No thanks, I think I'm just going to get going, dear," she got up from her stool and began to walk out towards the door. As an afterthought she turned and added, "And Lorelai, if there's anything that you ever want to tell me, I'll always be around. Day or night."

Lorelai grinned, "Hey Patty, guess what?"

She practically lunged back at Lorelai, "What dear?"

"I'm a lesbian," she giggled.

Patty's shoulders slumped, "Oh, that's nice dear."

"Yea, Ellen's leaving Portia for me. Say's we're gonna run away and live far out in the country somewhere. She'll leave her TV show, and I'll leave Rory to survive on her own."

"Have a happy partnership," Patty sighed as she walked out the door.

"Oh, we will, Patty. Don't you worry about that!"

Luke chuckled, "I can't believe you just told Patty you're a lesbian."

"Why? Jealous?"

"Of what?"

"Of me and Ellen, of course."

"Oh, how could I forget Ellen?"

"Silly man."

"Well, looks like I'll just have to convert Portia, seeing as how we'll both be the victims in that scenario, and we'll both run off together."

"Awe, Luke. I never took you for a romantic. That's like a fairy tale right there. We should call up Hollywood with that story."

"Oh yea? And who would you get to play us?"

"Well Angelina Jolie for me, of course. And I'm thinkin' maybe a Viggo Mortensen for you. Then Ellen and Portia can play themselves."

"No way, I'm so not the _Lord of the Rings_ guy!"

"And who did you have in mind for you?"

"You could have at least given me Johnny Depp."

"Seriously?" Lorelai giggled, "You think highly of yourself if you put yourself on the same playing field as Johnny Depp."

"Well he's no Brad Pitt or anything."

Lorelai started laughing, "Oh my god. I don't even know how to respond to that!"

"I'm going now."

"No, wait, come back! I want to hear your thoughts on Brad Pitt!"

* * *

_A little pointless, I know. But I still maintain the fact that how can a pointless story ever have a point? lol. _

**_Please Review. I survive by them.  
Updates up as soon as I recover my super hero powers again._**


	9. Geraldo Rivera among other Crazy Notions

**_I LIVE!_**

_Sorry updates have been slower then usual, but things have been crazy here, and I haven't really had the time to update. Currently I'm avoiding writing a paper on The Great Gatsby (with a little bit of Fight Club for my own personal amusement--don't ask how I'm combining them, it's a long and painful story). _

_**Lorelai Gilmore Danes: **Need not worry. Super powers located. Forgot them in the invisable jet again, then I lost that, and it was a whole big mess. Thanks for the support._

_**Hamlets-Pirate: **A little strange, yes. Granted, I also had a dream that drew a parallel between rehab and priates (but in my defense I had just watched the OC and Pirates of the Carribean, so I was doomed). Thanks for the review. _

_**Spontaneity: **Big words are fun. My current one is aloof. Because I can both spell and say it correctly. Next week juxaposition. Anyways, thank you so much for the compliment about my writing. It's always great to hear feedback like that. And I do agree with you, this site has become over run with crappy writers. But, that's another rant for another time. Thanks for the reivew._

_**Spuffyshipper: **Ouch. But I must say, my friend's does trump yours. I mean running into a doorknob with your eye takes talent. Thanks for the review. _

_**Muffin is Injured: **Oh, Muffin, my Muffin (please get the Walt Whitman reference), what would I ever do without your reivews? I must say, they are a pretty good motivation for updating. I can never guess what you'll say next.You're like Kayne West. Just less offensive. _

_Sorry about the confusion in the dialouge. I tend to do that when I get going into something, espically pointless banter, and it's probably gotten worse since my little foray into script writing. But I'll try to work on that. _

_I can't believe the last time I updated this was around CHRISTMAS! Ah, that seems like so long ago! Well, I hope you enjoyed your cookies (and the dough, because let's face it, you eat more of the dough then you make cookies. Dough is the reason I learned how to bake cookies). _

_And six thirty isn't bad for starting homework. Generally I don't start mine until about eleven, because that's really my first opportunity most nights. Then I complain about not getting enough sleep. Huh. Never really thought about that. But I must say, I feel most inspirted around 2 am when writing papers. A lot of my best work has happened in that time frame. Ah, good times._

_Thanks for the review!_

_**Lazy-Hazy-Crazy-Days: **Wow that's a long name to type. Easy to spell though, kuddos for that. Review again, and you'll probably be refered to as Lazy. Not to un-encourage the review, because let's face it, I've become quite the review whore since venturing into this part of the site, but I'm just really lazy, lazy. ha. ha. Anyways, moving on...thanks for your comments. I'm glad everyone has gotten my sense of humor, it's wierd, I know, but let's face it, I'm quirky and quirky people are funny. Even if it's unintentional. Thanks for the review._

_**Lolabelle26: **Yes, finally all those years watching E! has finally paid off. Thanks for the reivew. _

_**Baby Girl Geller-Green: **Thanks for your comment about Miss Patty. I've never really written her before, and I'm glad she's comming off in-character. Thanks for the feedback._

_**Erica Bing: **I'm on your favorites? Gasp. I never knew. This is so cool. (And I really am mature...really...). Thanks for the reviews._

_And thanks also go out to: **Cuty, ginchy87, Lukeloveslorelai, racheleigh, normallyweirdm, RogueHoney, Severin, ProFfeSser, Tear4Chris, Orangesherbert7, Daphnetjuh, Pandastar102, Lukelorelai-en, LukeLorelaiForever, **and **Redemptionofhope**. Again, I repeat that if I've forgotten anyone of spelled your name wrong (hack...hack...ProFfeSser and Daphnetjuh), please do not be offened. I didn't mean too. I'm just a bad typist. _

* * *

Rory let her head thump to the table. She now understood why they were not pet people. She wanted to kill this stupid bird. And it would be a slow death too. Give Stella a little taste of her own medicine. A few hours earlier she had actually searched for some sort of switch to turn the damn bird off. Her, Rory Gilmore, the perfectly rational, 4.0 student looking for a switch on a real, live bird.

She was losing it.

"Does it ever stop?" Chris asked from his position across from her at the table. His head was in a similar position, although he had cracked much sooner then she had.

"It's like she's trying to tell us something."

"If that's 'please kill me' then I got the message about two hours ago."

The front door swung open loudly (a general sign of her graceful mother), followed by a, "Holy screaming birds, batman!" (a second and more definite sign of her mother).

"Jesus, Lorelai! Does that bird ever shut up!" Rory heard Luke yell. That was not a good sign. She immediately jerked her head up, and felt her eyes dart towards her father.

This was it.

Her mother was committing suicide. And she was taking her daughter with her. Which makes it a more murder-suicide then just a suicide, but the term suicide is generally used to define this sort of situation. Either that or insanity.

"Rory!" Lorelai shouted as the marched through the house, "Rory! I'm home and I brought," she walked into the kitchen, "Food," she finished in a normal speaking volume.

Luke held up the bag of burgers, "I caved," he stated bluntly.

"Lore," Chris smiled, "You've been gone a long time."

"Well we've had quite the exciting day at the diner. I couldn't leave. It was like when Geraldo opened Capone's Vault," she nudged Luke for support.

"Oh, yeah, Geraldo, excitement. Drama even," he mumbled out.

"What happened?" Rory asked.

Lorelai gasped, "You mean you haven't heard? Patty hasn't made a personal appearance to tell you and sneak a peak at Christopher?"

"Thanks for that, Lore," Chris gave her a look.

"Always a pleasure," she smirked back.

"Tell me! Don't leave me hanging here!" She paused, "Oh my god, it is like when Geraldo opened Al Capone's Vault. Will there be advertisements?"

"Caesar had an accident today at the diner."

"Oh no, is he okay?"

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah, just a minor concussion. He'll be out of action for a few days, but then he'll be back and making better burgers then ever."

Rory smiled, "There's a movie in that."

"So, Lore," Chris smiled in a sort of forced-happy manner, "Besides saving the fry cook, what have you been up to this afternoon."

Lorelai shrugged, "Oh this and that," she turned back to Luke, "Chris this is Luke. You met him this morning, remember? At his diner."

Chris nodded, "Of course I remember, Luke. Best coffee in town, right?"

"That would be me."

"So what have you two done all day?" Lorelai smiled as she took a seat at the table.

"Oh, nothing much. We went to the bookstore," Rory answered.

"Oh? Did you get anything good?"

Rory felt her eyes shoot to her father involuntarily, "Ah, nah. They really didn't have anything that I wanted this time."

"Somehow, I don't buy that. Spill, kid."

Rory turned her attention to Luke, "Why are you still standing over there, Luke. Have a seat!" She motioned cheerily, "Feel free to bring the food with you."

Luke rolled his eyes as he took a seat next to Lorelai, "Is that all I'm good for?"

Lorelai gave a Mona Lisa smirk, "Among other things."

Rory gave her mom a look, "Please stop there, I'm trying to eat here," she motioned towards her barely unwrapped burger in front of her with her hands.

Chris looked around, "Is there something going on here?"

"We're eating. It's a common occurrence here at dinner time, at the Gilmore house. I'm not exactly sure how you do it out in California, but I kinda amused it was similar."

"Maybe it's the time difference!" Rory offered a weak interception. It wasn't strong enough.

"No, I mean what's with you? Are you leaving something out that I should know?"

"Depends on your definition of 'something you should know'. Cause that's pretty vague, mister. I mean there's tons of stuff you don't know, but I don't think you ever want to know, especially over dinner."

"Lorelai," Chris said sternly, "What's with all the backtalk? I'm half excepting you to go 'leaving you say?'. Am I totally and completely wrong in that?"

"Well thanks, Yoda, but I wasn't back-talking. I was just asking you for a more clear question. If you wanted a clearer answer, you should have asked a clearer question."

Luke looked over at Rory uncomfortably.

"Because that makes sense."

"Oh? Sense you are looking for?"

Chris gave her a look, "Just answer the question, Yoda."

Lorelai took a large bite of her burger, "Well, now I'm offended. Maybe I don't want to answer you're stupid question anymore."

"Lore,"

"Later, Chris."

"So, Luke, Caesar hurt his head, huh?" Rory made an awkward change in conversation, averting the otherwise tension-filled moment between her parents.

"It was quite the fiasco."

Chris apparently didn't get the hint, "Lorelai, tell me what's going on," he continued.

Lorelai stared him boldly back in the eyes, "Later," she repeated. "So, what else did you do today, babe? Make kissy, kissy with your boytoy?"

"Oh god," Rory groaned.

Chris looked at Rory for an explanation, "Kissy, kissy?"

Lorelai puckered her lips and began making kissing noises.

"Oh please stop that," Luke grumbled.

Lorelai smiled, "What? Luke no like kissy, kissy?"

He gave her an amused look, "No, Luke is trying to eat."

"Yea, Chris too," Chris joined in from the other side of the table.

"And Rory's too young for this."

Lorelai made a face, "Whatever, I'm over it, anyways," she mumbled out in her "I'm too cool" meets Clueless voice (one she had spent years perfecting).

Rory rolled her eyes, "Like oh my god," she responded in her matching voice (it was more like a mother-daughter bonding thing that went wrong which lead them to develop these voices).

Chris blinked.

"You get used to it," Luke offered weakly.

"Really?"

"You never think you do, then one day you find yourself answering 'like gag me with a spoon'."

Lorelai grinned, "I think he's finally coming around, kiddo."

"We've done it! We've finally broken him!"

"So I've seen _Valley Girls_, I have a sister you know, get over it."

Lorelai was practically beaming with joy, "Oh! Oh! Do your Nicholas Cage _Valley Girls_ impression!"

Luke gave her a look, "I don't have a Nicholas Cage impression."

"Oh, maybe he should play you in the movie?"

"The what now?" Rory asked.

Chris shrugged, "I don't know, I was with you."

"They're gonna make a movie about me and Luke. And Angelina Jolie is going to play me,"

"Of course,"

"Who else?"

"I know!"

"And we still haven't filled the role for Luke yet. We were thinkin' Viggo, but Mr. Diva over here turned him down, and said I could have at least given him Johnny Depp."

Rory turned for Lorelai, and studied Luke for a moment, "No, not charming enough," she paused, "I mean not to say you're not charming in your monosyllable ways, but Johnny Depp is a different kind of charming. The kind were he can have scissors for hands and you still love him."

"Now that's charming," Chris pointed out.

Lorelai laughed, "Wait, wait, it gets better!"

"Ah, jeez! Do you really have to tell every person we see this story!"

"Yes," Lorelai turned her attention back to Rory, "So, when I say 'oh please, you're so not Johnny Depp, you certainly think a lot of yourself to put yourself on the same playing field as Johnny Depp'!"

"Do you have to say Johnny Depp every time? Couldn't you just say Johnny and be done with it?"

Lorelai swatted Luke's leg, "No! He's Johnny Depp, not Johnny! Because there's lots of Johnny's!"

Luke blinked, "That we're talking about?" He paused, "You know there are such a thing as pronouns. They take the place of proper nouns."

"Would you shut up and let me finish the story," Lorelai gave him a playful glare.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Go on. Just don't spread this around too much."

"Oh it's far too late for that, I'm sending a note to the editor tomorrow to the Stars Hallow Gazette to tell everyone all about it."

Rory clapped her hands together, "Focus, mom!"

"Right! Anyways, so Luke goes 'well he's no Brad Pitt'," she laughed.

"Oh god."

Chris gave Luke a look, "You didn't."

He sighed, "I did."

Rory laughed, "Oh my god, Luke! We are rubbing off on you! I'm so proud! Did you see Troy? You see a lot of Brad Pitt in Troy!"

Lorelai grunted, "Yeah, a little too much if you ask me. Somebody got a little butt shot happy in that movie."

Chris laughed, "A little, it was like every time a new scene came on, somebody had to be showing off their backside!"

Rory shrugged, "Maybe Greeks had a thing against pants."

"I don't know, kiddo. You're supposed to be the smart one. I just sit here and look pretty."

"That's true."

"Hey!"

"You said it! I was just agreeing,"

"Well, everyone knows the proper response to that statement is 'oh, no, you're pleaty smart! Smarter then most people actually'!"

"Do you want me to lie?"

"Yes! Have I taught you nothing?"

"Sorry, I was sticking to the WWMD opposite rule."

Chris shot a look over to Luke, "Do I even want to know?"

Luke shook his head, "I don't think so. When it comes to these two, I've learned not to ask."

"Ah, a wise man."

* * *

After they finished their dinners (most of which was cold by the time Lorelai and Rory got around to actually eating the majority of their food) (not that it stopped them from finishing or anything), and Luke had left for the night mumbling something about checking on Caesar, and then Rory decided to lock herself in her room to focus on writing a paper (apparently there would be too many distractions if Lorelai were allowed to enter at will), Lorelai and Chris found themselves outside on the porch swing, drinking beers, and alone.

The situation seemed vaguely familiar.

Which sent off huge red flags in Lorelai's mind, but did she listen? No. Because that would be the sensible thing to do. And Lorelai Gilmore prided herself on lacking sense.

Chris took a sip of his beer, "So, you and Luke were together all day," he stated blankly.

Lorelai pushed her foot against the porch railing, setting the swing into motion. She shrugged casually, trying to play it off, "Yea, so?"

"Lore, what's going on?"

She took a sip of her beer, "What are you talking about?"

"Look, there's something you're not telling me."

Another sip, "I have a thing for No Doubt. There. I admitted it. Whoo, that feels so good to get off my chest!"

Chris gave her a look, "You know what I mean, Lore."

"There's nothing to talk about, okay? Just back off."

"Is there something going on between you and Luke?"

Lorelai shrugged, "We're close. Is that a problem?" It wasn't a total lie. Close did somewhat define their relationship. It was vague. And vague is good when you're trying to be mysterious.

"Lore," he gave her another look, "I saw the way you too acted with each other. I think it's a little bit more then just close."

"What's your big problem, Chris? Why are you fixating on this?"

"I just wanna know the truth, Lorelai!"

"Yes! Yes! Me and Luke are in a relationship as of about yesterday! Sorry, if I don't give you specifics, because they're aren't any!"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"First of all, it's none of your business, second of all, we haven't even told the town yet, so why you should get priority is beyond me!"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's a little thing called, we had a child together. And if you're serious about a guy, I'd like to know about it! I mean if you had it your way, you'd pick out Rory's stepfather without me, and he could be like this horrible guy who is horrible to Rory or something!"

Lorelai stopped rocking the chair, "And since when do you care so much, Chris? You show up out of the blue, latch yourself on to our couch, and spend minimal time with Rory saying that she's a loose string that you need to tie up in your life. Here's a hint, Chris, next time don't refer to your daughter as a loose string."

"You know I didn't mean it that way, Lore. I just want Rory to be more important to me."

"You shouldn't want Rory to be more important, she should just be more important! No effort involved! Poof! It just happens! And generally on the day the kid is born, but I will give you the fact that some people are late bloomers, but it's been sixteen years, Chris. You gotta decide."

"Rory is more important to me, Lore."

Lorelai's expression softened, "Then, okay, you can keep seeing her. But I don't need you passing judgment on who I can and cannot see."

Chris sighed, "I know, I just,"

"What?"

"I wanted to ask you to marry me."

Lorelai blinked, "What?"

He smiled, "It makes perfect sense, Lore. We can finally be a family this way. A real cheesy one. Like the Waltons or something."

"Chris, you can't expect me to say yes to that."

He grabbed her hands, "Come on, Lore! We have something here, you and me!"

She pulled her hands away, "No, no, Chris. I'm with Luke. Don't you understand that? You're timing is off," she paused, "Again."

"You said you've only been together a day."

"Well two, including today, which is pretty much over, so I think it'd be okay to count it in the scheme of things."

"We've had a connection for sixteen years and then some. We have Rory together. It makes perfect sense, Lorelai."

"Chris, a connection isn't the same thing as a relationship, which we have definitely not had, even in friendly terms for sixteen years."

"Lore,"

"No!"

"But,"

"Seriously, can I get more clear then this? And don't you even think about trying an I'm just being modest argument, because it didn't work for Mr. Collins, and it isn't going to work for you."

Chris sighed, "Well, even Mr. Darcy got turned down once."

"You're not Mr. Darcy."

"I could be. I do have the potential, you don't like me very much right now, and I do seem to remember something about Elizabeth not liking Mr. Darcy when she first met him. I mean, it's been awhile since high school, but I think I remember."

She rested her hand on his arm, "Chris, even if Luke wasn't around, it'd still be a no," she said softly, "I'm sorry, I just don't,"

He shrugged, but avoided eye contact just the same, "Ah, don't be. I could never be with a Metallica fan anyways."

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "I still can't believe you like the Offspring."

"They're better then Metallica!"

"You're delusional."

"Am not."

"Are too."

Rory stepped out on to the porch from inside the house, "Am I going to have to separate you two?" She mockingly scolded them.

Lorelai took her hand back, "He started it."

Rory smiled, "Well, Offspring fans usually are the aggressors in situations like these."

"Hey! Wait! No fair! You've got her brainwashed against me!"

Lorelai smiled, "Being her mother, I have that right."

Rory shrugged, "Let's face it, folks, I'm pretty much doomed."

"That's my girl!"

* * *

_See look. It wasa nice long, drama-filled one. So, when updates don't come for another couple of months again, will I be forgiven? Heh. Heh. _

**_Updates up...sooner or later...  
Please Review._**


	10. Pondering

_Sorry things have been slow again, lately. But look! An extra long chapter with a suprise ending! ha! ha! _

_**Lazy-Hazy-Cazy-Dayz: **Copper Boom!_

_**Epona9009: **Hey, you've reviewed more then I ever have for a fic that I like! I'm glad everyone gets my references. I don't think anyone can match the amount in one actual episode of Gilmore Girls, but we can at least try, right? lol .Thanks for the review. _

_**Muffin: **Yay! Someone knows who Walt Whitman is! Someone in my english class used that poem for a project and didn't even get that it was about Abe Lincoln. I mean, seriously, even if you aren't good a poetry (like me) just watch "Dead Poets Society" or that "Full House episode"! Hell, I'm sure it's in a book somewhere, if they'd just dare to open a book! GASP! Why would anyone want to do that! _

_Well now, how can I trust anything you say, since you have amitted to being a complusive lair? Has our entire banter-based relationship been a lie? Gasp. How will live go on? Aye, me. Enter Spanish Soap opera music. _

_Yeah, that "loose string" thing always upset me in a show, and I really can't believe Lorelai never said anything to him about it. But the beauty of writing your own verison of events allows for me to be able to re-write cetrain things and dialouge. _

_Oh, and I'm completely jealous that you live in CA. I mean seriously, I'm so west coast. I was with Tupac the whole time! I was like, oh no you didn't Biggy! When the whole gun shooting from the other car happened. _

_And I can't wait for your fic to come out, so I can make random commentary in your review section as apposed to in my reply section._

_Peace out, me hommie!_

**CurLiness: **Welcome aboard! Thanks for the review.

**Normallyweirddm: **Just remember that when you see that bright light at the end of the tunnel, it's probably best for you not to head into it, espically when you start seeing flashbacks of your life. lol. Thanks for the reivew.

Thanks also go out to: **Chmelms, LukelovesLorelai, LukeAndLorelaiAllways, RogueHoney, Menghis, Orangesherbert7, Carly, LLfreak8285, ProFfeSseR, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Daphnetjuh, Scottjunkie, suusje32, HeartGilmoreGirls, Spuffyshipper, **and **Ultimategilmoregirl**. I would have loved to write replies to all of you, but it's late, and the response to Muffin's review was so tiresome...blame her. Hee. Hee.

* * *

Another downside to having a secret relationship: when you need relationship advice from your best friend and then you realize that your best friend doesn't know and that if you tell her your best friend will be offended, not speak to you, and therefore ruin the whole getting advice from your best friend idea. And while your sixteen-year-old daughter might be adequate in some relationship questions, like 'do you think this outfit is too slutty for the first date' other ones, especially including ones about her biological father generally aren't encouraged. Or sensible for that matter.

She never really thought this would ever be a problem. Generally your boyfriend proposes to you, and you pretend you didn't really know it was coming, but you knew anyways because either your best friend told you or you guess it on your own (generally not the latter), and not your ex-boyfriend/father of your child guy. Although putting it that way it doesn't really sound too out of the blue. Chris and her did share Rory. That would mean they'd always be connected somehow.

But was it important enough to have to tell Luke?

It's not like anyone outside of the two of them knew anything about it. She was pretty sure Patty and/or Babette hadn't gotten around to wiring her house yet, and it's not like he got down on one knee with a ring or anything (which is a dead give away to the proposal), so how would Luke find out if she never said anything.

But then would it be a whole "The Tell-Tale Heart" thing? Would she keep hearing Chris proposing over and over again in her head until she finally confesses, and by then it might be to late, and lead to the downfall of her and Luke's relationship?

Her and Luke's relationship.

Christ, she was going off the deep end. She had been quote, un-quote dating Luke for a grand total of two days, hadn't been on an official date yet, and yet here she was calling it a relationship and debating whether or not she should tell him that Chris proposed when he didn't know that Luke and Lorelai were involved.

Lorelai ran her fingers through her hair absent-mindedly as she sat out on the porch swing, attempting to ignore her inner debate. It wasn't working.

She heard Rory step out onto the porch, "Mom?"

Lorelai lifted her head, "Hey, babe," she forced a smile. "You're up early."

"I could say the same thing to you."

Rory looked her over carefully, "Are you sure you're alright?"

Lorelai gave her best fake smile, "Course, babe." She had always been extremely talented at pulling those off. Years of practice.

Rory walked over and took a seat next to Lorelai on the porch swing, "Look, I know you and Dad had some sort of fight last night,"

"Rory," Lorelai cut her off, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why won't you? You say I'm your best friend."

"Oh not you too!"

Rory gave her a look, "Mom, I just want you to know, that I'm here. You can talk to me. I promise that I won't be scarred for life or something. I mean, as long as you stay away from wire hangers."

"Why? Don't you love your mommy dearest?"

"I just want you to be happy."

Lorelai leaned over and gave Rory a quick peck on the top of her head, "I know, babe. But this is something that Mommy needs a non-related best friend with multiple experiences in dating to refer back to. So you and your hunky boyfriend just don't cut it."

Rory shook her head, "I wonder what Dean would say if he knew you referred to him as my hunky boyfriend?"

"Secretly I think he'd enjoy it."

"Mom!"

"I'm just saying. You have one very hot mom."

"Okay, that scarring that I talked about earlier starting to happen. I mean, wound sliced open with that last comment."

Lorelai smiled, "I'm gonna go and talk to Sookie, sweetie."

"Wait, isn't that breaking the rules?"

"What rules?"

"The rules that you and Luke set up."

"I've never really been a fan of rules, anyways. Must have been all of those Godfather marathons. The Don has gotten to my sense of morals."

"Perhaps it was more Michael that got to your morals, because the Godfather had morals. Twisted morals, but morals."

"Yea, poor Fredo. He really got the worse end of Michael's morals."

"Poor, poor Fredo."

Lorelai chuckled slightly, "I've gotta brake the rules, babe."

"Be James Dean, tomorrow. Right now I think you're rushing into this talking with Sookie thing. I'm here, remember? And you're allowed to talk to me without it getting all over town."

Lorelai sighed, "I know. I just, I need a grown-up, I think. Or at least an impartial third party."

"I'm all Swiss on this!" Rory paused, "No cutesy little rhyme intended."

"Noted and forgiven, however, I don't think you can be Switzerland on this one, kiddo."

"Just give me a chance."

"Rory, no."

"You said we're like best friends, mom!"

"And we are, just not on this particular subject, we aren't, Rory!" Lorelai said shortly. Rory looked at her sadly, her baby blue eyes pounding right into Lorelai's guilt. She sighed, "Look, Rory, I have rules for you too. And I never wanted to include you in any of my relationships for your own good. And while I screwed that up royally with Max, I don't want to do the same thing with Luke."

"Mom, you've already broken your rules by dating Luke. I'm attached, and until he begins cooking bad food I don't think I'm going to stop."

Lorelai nodded, "I know. And that's why I have to be extra careful."

"What? Why?"

"You just said it. You're close to Luke. Closer then you were to Max, to say the least. You see him almost three times a day during the summer, two during the school year. There's no way I can keep you two separate. But I can keep diner Luke and boyfriend Luke separate from you."

Rory looked at her angrily, "But not from Sookie."

"Sookie can feed herself. Us, however, depend on Luke for one of our basic human needs."

Rory shook her head, "You don't have to protect me anymore, mom," she stood up off the porch swing and marched into the house, passing Chris on the doorstop on her way in.

Lorelai kept her eyes straight a head, "How long have you been there, Chris?" She asked bitterly, "I assume long enough to draw your own conclusions on the particular argument."

He stepped out onto the porch, "Why didn't you tell, Rory?"

"Because she didn't need to know, Chris. It would just upset her."

"She has a right to know where I stand."

Lorelai shook her head, "No. You don't have a stand, Chris. You have a very misguided idea that we could possibly be a family together."

"We could be, Lore."

"No, Chris! We can't! We had this conversation last night, and I'm not having it again, all right? Rory didn't need to know. End of story." She stood up off of the porch swing, "I'm going to Sookie's for a little bit, all right. Be back soon."

* * *

Lorelai walked over cautiously to Sookie's house. And by cautiously, she meant James Bond secret spy mode. She could almost hear Luke's truck coming down the road, or Kirk darting behind her attempting to extort something else from her in return for his continued silence. It wasn't like she was betraying him. She needed girl time. With a grown-up girl who had perspective on this sort of thing.

Granted, she probably never had someone propose to her while being in another relationship entirely. But then there's the point to consider that Chris did not know about the other relationship at the time, so how could he really be blamed for proposing to one half of an item.

Then came the guilt trip of hiding it from Chris, who really could know and not be a problem. It wasn't like he lived in town or something. But then his reaction to finding out about the relationship didn't exactly win him any points. And there's the fact to consider that he still continued his offer even after knowing that her and Luke were together.

Which brought her right back to her original problem: Should she tell Luke?

She walked up the steps to Sookie's front door, and tapped lightly on the light green door. She had learned her lesson about knocking ever since Sookie and Jackson had gotten together. Since then it was always better safe then sorry. She'd have to wait until their marriage and planned get-togethers before she ever attempted to walk into Sookie's house uninvited again.

Sookie opened the door happily, holding an oven mitt under her armpit and an old kitchen timer in her adjoining hand. "Lorelai?"

Lorelai offered a weak smile, "What? Got another best friend hiding in there or something? Are you friend-cheating on me?"

Sookie chuckled, "No, I just thought you'd be with Chris and Rory all day today. I mean I heard from Miss Patty that he was here and spent the entire day with Rory yesterday, so I kinda figured the three of you would be together and yet here you are on my front porch, and," it was like a light bulb went off in her head, "Is something wrong! Oh my god! Come in! Come in!" She waved Lorelai into the house without letting a word in edgewise, "Tell me what happened. I've got cookies baking and ice cream if it's an ice cream kind of conversation."

Sookie shooed Lorelai into the kitchen, and set her down at one of her chairs around her small kitchen table. She checked the timer on the cookies, "Well, we better make small talk for awhile, I've still got another six minutes left on these babies."

Lorelai shook her head, "No, no, the cookies can wait, I just needed a little perspective on something, that's all, Sook. No need to panic."

Sookie sat down, "No need to panic! You could have told me that back on the porch! God! I thought something horrible had happened!"

Lorelai shook her head, "No, not in so many words."

"Well, what happened?"

"Chris proposed," Lorelai said simply. "He actually proposed yet again. Apparently he hasn't quite grasped the concept that I don't want to marry him. He actually made a _Pride and Prejudice _reference."

"What brought that on?"

Lorelai shrugged, "God, I don't know. He came here talking about tying up loose ends or something. Granted he also referred to Rory as one of those loose ends, but,"

Sookie gasped in disbelief, "No."

"Apparently you haven't met Chris. I actually was not surprised by that comment. Is that bad?"

Sookie, "Lorelai, you can't beat yourself up about that kind of stuff. You can't control what he does."

"Rory's angry."

"That you didn't say yes?"

"That I won't tell her what happened."

Sookie paused, "Well, you could argue it both ways. I mean she's old enough to handle it probably, but you don't want to risk that fact that she may not be old enough to handle it."

"I just don't want to upset her. Chris doesn't get it either."

"Forget Chris!"

"Well it's kinda hard when you have a one part Chris walking around your house," Lorelai shook her head, "But I do want to be able to tell her these things, I just don't want to tell her while he's here. Maybe when he leaves again."

"He always does doesn't he?"

"And manages to screw something up, and I'm not letting him screw up me and Rory's relationship by having her mad at me."

Sookie put her hands over Lorelai's, "Honey, you gotta tell Rory. You can't keep things secret from her, just like you can't keep things secret from me. Sooner or later she's bound to find out, and she'll probably be more upset then, then she would be if you told her now."

Lorelai felt a pang of guilt. Another draw back to having a secret relationship. "Sookie," she said quietly, "I really didn't mean to come here to talk about how this will effect Rory."

Sookie looked at her strangely, "What's up?"

Lorelai darted her eyes down, "I'm dating Luke."

Sookie blinked, "What?"

Lorelai shot her eyes back up, "Me and Luke are dating now. And we're trying to keep it a secret, and he convinced me that I couldn't tell you because you would tell Jackson and everyone knows Jackson can't keep a secret and then the whole town would bug us about it!" She spout out quickly, "Please don't hate me!"

Sookie took her hands away from Lorelai's, "How long have you two been dating."

"This will be the third day."

Sookie smiled, "Sweetie, only three days? And you thought I'd hate you? Besides you did tell me, without Luke's knowledge I presume and that means bonus points on the girl scale, therefore putting you at even."

Lorelai smiled, "You're not angry?"

"If you had waited a year, then things would be different."

"So, should I tell Luke?"

"Tell Luke what?"

"That Chris proposed?"

"Ooh. That's quite the predicament."

"I know! It's only been three days!"

"Have you two," she made hand gestures, "Y'know," more hand gestures, "Y'know?"

Lorelai shook her head quickly, "No! No. I mean, almost. But then Kirk walked in."

"You told Kirk before you told me!"

"He walked in!"

Sookie gave her a look, "Fine. But you're at minus points on the scale, missy!"

"I'll make it up to you. Somehow. Just give me a little time on that."

Sookie smiled, "Thank-you."

"You're welcome." Lorelai paused, "So, back to the original topic. Should I tell him?"

"Did he propose outside on your porch?"

Lorelai nodded, "Yep. Last night."

Sookie thought about it for a minute, "Well, since you haven't, y'know, then it's really not required, however it might bode well for you to tell him due to the fact that Chris proposed outside within the hearing and/or seeing range of Babette."

"I know, I just don't know,"

"How he'll take it?" Sookie cut in, "You gotta do it, honey. There's no such thing as a secret in this town."

"Well me and Luke managed to keep our secret for at least three days. And really it's still a secret from the majority of the town."

"Sweetie, Kirk knows. It won't be a secret for much longer."

Lorelai bowed her head, "I know." She raised her head and smiled a bit, "But it's kinda fun too. I mean, while I can't wait to be out with it, I've been going on with all the pros and cons of it in my head, and it does have a lot of pros. It's like wearing no panties to a job interview. I know something that they don't know."

"You don't wear panties on job interviews?"

"Well I've really only had one, and I wasn't exactly prepared that day, so no. But if I ever did, I so'd be going commando."

The buzzer went off in Sookie's hand, "Cookies?"

Lorelai sighed, "You know what, I think I'll have to take a rain check on that. I think I'm going to talk to Luke and the least distractions the better."

"Okay," Sookie pulled out a tray of cookies.

"On second thought, I'll just take a few to go."

"I figured," Sookie smiled and handed her a bag of three cookies. "Don't chicken out on me, now! Or else I'll tell the entire town and ruin your fun!"

Lorelai gave her a look, "Thanks for the blackmail."

"Anytime."

"And remember, you can't tell anyone. Not even Jackson."

"I'll try my best."

"Sookie."

"Or something more like, Sure thing, Lorelai."

"Perfect."

* * *

Lorelai walked quickly over to the diner, not even taking time to lazily stroll through the park to see what current job and/or activity Kirk has taken up within the last twenty-four hours. Last time she heard he had taken up Kabbalah studies and was attempting to use the gazebo as his worship center. Which is something you don't see everyday.

However, she was a woman on a mission. Or rather, a woman with a very sort nerve, and could lose it at any given moment, especially in relationships.

She marched up to the door, opened it quickly, and shuffled over to the counter directly towards Luke, who was currently getting the order of a redheaded woman. Currently getting the order and acting rather awkward.

This could be a problem.

Lorelai took a seat at the bar, "Hey, Luke?" She interrupted, feeling her nerve slipping away. "Can I talk to you when you have a minute?"

Luke looked over in her direction, "Lorelai?"

"What is it with people today acting surprised when they see me? Was I kidnapped by aliens and have been gone for the past ten years or something, and have just returned but never noticed the time lapse."

He cocked an eyebrow, "What?"

"Unsolved mysteries. We have got to get you a TV, my friend."

"I have a TV."

"Then we've got to get you to start using it!"

The redheaded woman started laughing a little at their little banter, "Luke who is this? I love her already!"

Lorelai blinked. She turned her head over quickly to face the redheaded woman face on, "I'm Lorelai, who are you?"

"That's Rachel," Luke introduced awkwardly.

Lorelai felt her heart drop to the floor, "Rachel as in, Rachel Rachel?"

Rachel forced an awkward chuckle, "I see I'm famous around here now, aren't I?"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it in a bad way, I'm just trying to get my facts straight is all," Lorelai replied just as awkwardly.

"Yes, this is Rachel as in Rachel Rachel," Luke answered.

"Oh," Lorelai said simply, "Well it's nice to meet you! I guess I can finally learn what Luke was like back in high school! I've always wondered."

And that was how Lorelai Gilmore lost her nerve in under sixty seconds.

* * *

**_Please Review.  
Updates will probably be up within a month's time, that seems about my average nowadays._**


	11. Location, location, location

_I'm back. _

_I don't know howmany people read the note that I wrote in my profile about a week or two back, but it explained my hiatius from writing for these past couple of months. I know that I've posted somethings for my 21 JUMPSTREET series, but that's a script which does not take the same sort of finese that an actual piece of writing does. For those of you who have not read by profile, I'll summarize:_

_These past few months have been extremely stressful both emotionally and mentally, which are two entirely different things and when you go through both at the same time you'll understand. So writing took a back seat so that I could put back together a semblance of mental health. _

_And I don't care much for the people that write reviews stating how much time it has been since I have last updated. That does not make the writing process any faster or the aforementioned stress any less of a problem. So, with all due love and respect for my readers, please do not send me those kinds of reviews. Please do not confuse this with the traditional "update soon" that many people post at the end of thier comments, that is completely all right in my book. _

_**LukeNLorelai637: **My, my, somebody's invested in my storyline. Well, you read late enough and got your wish about fast updating (to you anyways, to everyone else...it's been awhile). Thanks for the reivew._

_**Lorelai 35 Gilmore: **I know I said it would be a strictly fluff piece, and it started out that way, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had to create a problem bigger then keeping their romance a secret, hence the introduction of Chris and Rachel, it's like a love square kind of deal. Thanks for the reviews._

_**LukelovesLorelai: **How can you hate "The Tell-Tale Heart"! It's a classic! I love Egar Allen Poe because he's so creepy and so out there. Seriously, he is like a ray of sunshine in an otherwise completely dull educational landscape of classical literature. Thanks for the review._

_**Ultimate Gilmore Girl: **Well, you've got yourself quite an imagination, missy. I bet you just loved the season six finale, didn't you? Thanks for the review, I see if I can work in any death scenes._

_**Muffin is Injured: **Ah, my favorite person in the Gilmore Girls section! (I really have to start reading again, I've been out of the game for awhile, you got anything new?) (heh...besides the one you told me about in your review and I never got to because this is the first time I'm reading this review...heh...remember the stress I talked about and take pity on me, I'm just a poor, poor mentally unhealthy teenager who has taken on yet another unbearable class load this year and is currently counting down the days until her death thanks to the educational system). _

_The Dean/Lorelai fics creep me out. Along with the Luke/Rory fics. I'm not even going to comment on the Lorelai/Rory fics, those are just disgusting. I mean at least the Luke/Rory and Dean/Lorelai fics take place when the kids are older and it's like a Demi/Ashton kind of thing, but it's always wrong to date your daughter. And I do think that Dean had a thing for Lorelai in a very Mrs. Robinson kind of way, just the infacutation, y'know? _

_Of course I know who Andy Gibb is. Shame about the sucidice thing though, he was the only good looking one. And haivng somebody that was considered good looking in the 70s actually be good looking is a rarity. They liked hair in the 70s. We don't like hair now. So, take that! I'm a bigger pop culture dork! Ha! Send me on that Vh1 World Series of Pop Culture and I'd seriously kick some couch-patato ass! (Not that I sit on my couch and play along or anything...heh) _

_And I would be jealous of your chicken, but I'm eating pizza and pizza always tops chicken, bitch._

_And I know what you mean about the radio. Every time I turn it on it's that "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" song which I liked at first (yea, I'll admit it! I like some mainstream music and I'm not afraid to admit it...anymore!) but now everytime I hear it I feel like ripping the radio out of my car (which would be a real travisty because without my radio what would I sing to? And if I can't sing, how can I prepare to win American Idol and take the country by a storm of quirkiness, lovability, and drop-dead good looks?). _

_Thanks for the review, babe, and I will sciddale over to your profile and review ALL of your new fics when I'm finished up here!_

_**Wendy: **Yeah, I know it was a lot of filler, but I needed to really develop the main problem, which is continuing to have a new secret relationship with a parade of ex's flying through. Thanks for the honesty and for the reivew. I really do appricate it (and if you ever got a review from me, you'll understand that I really do mean that). _

_**LukeAndLorelaiAlways: **I think you're right Will Robinson, and I'm glad to have another Dead Head along for the ride! Thanks for the review. _

_**Hamlet's Pirate: **Well, it's always good to rock. And I'm sorry again, Chris, but it looks like I might have teetered a little bit there again. (And since it's been such a long time since you wrote a review...you might want to go check yours out again if that didn't make any sense to you). Well I hope you had a good Easter and such, and I'm sorry about the Troy comment, but I couldn't resisit. So, I said, screw you timeline, I will not forgo the opportunity to make a Brad Pitt butt reference just for you! Thanks for the review. _

_Another huge round of thanks also go out to: **Luke-n-LorelaiLuva6292, Leh2007, Kitty12345, Normallywierdm, Christi06, LUKE N LORELAI 4 EVER...** (they didn't finish out your name, sorry), **Stephanie, LLfreak8285, Orangesherbet7, Gilmoregrl519, Ronata, ProFfeSseR, RougeHoney, Susie02, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Chmelms, **and**xxAllyxx.**_

* * *

She could see how Luke would be attracted to Rachel. In a sick sorta twisted way, Rachel kinda reminded her of Luke. Just with more fashion options. And longer hair. And then the girl thing to consider, so more like his female counter part. And she had to admit that all in all, Rachel wasn't a bad person. Actually, Lorelai kinda liked her.

Dammit.

"So, Lorelai, what do you do?" Rachel smiled pleasantly, not and in a smug sort of way. In that kind of genuine, I'm a nice person, Bambi sort of way. Which successfully ruined any chances of Lorelai ever hating her, because how can you hate Bambi? Only people like Donnie Darko would hate Bambi, and until she started befriending crazy bunny rabbits named Fred, she would never be a Donnie Darko.

She forced a smile back, "I work at the Independence Inn."

"Oh? How did you get into inn work?"

Lorelai shrugged, "Well, mainly it was the need for a job, and the Independence Inn needed maids." She paused for a second, then put on one of her famous Lorelai smirks, "Not to mention the irony in the name Independence. I couldn't pass it up."

Rachel furrowed her brow, "What irony?"

"I was independent."

"Ah. Should have figured that." Rachel took a sip of her coffee, "So, are you still working as a maid?"

Lorelai shook her head, "Nope, I'm the General Manager now."

"Oh, well, good for you!"

"So, how'd you get into photography? I mean, Luke's told me you're a photographer, at least I think he did. Hell, you might be a lawyer for all I know!" Lorelai gave a nervous laugh, "But I don't think Luke would date a lawyer. Granted you weren't anything when you two were dating. Not to say that you weren't in existence, or your life had no meaning, you just didn't have a job. Like a real job. A nine to five kind of job. A job job."

Luke gave her a look, "Lorelai."

"What?"

"I think she's got the point."

Lorelai shrugged, "Just wanted to make sure that there was no confusion. You never know." Mental head slap.

Rachel shook her head quickly, "Oh no, it was no problem at all. Luke's just being, well Luke," she chuckled slightly, "But, I've always loved to travel and to take pictures. Which, to my benefit, go together really well. And seeing as how I didn't exactly do my best in high school, the photography thing just kinda kicked in."

"I can second that not doing well in high school. I'm sensing it had to do with a distraction of the male gender," Lorelai smiled brightly. If she couldn't win as a conversationalist, she'd win on her pearly whites alone. Nobody could beat Lorelai's smile. It had gotten her in and out of trouble on more than one occasion.

"Let me guess, tall, dark, and handsome."

"And a really great car."

"Well, Luke had full access to his father's truck, which was comparable to a Ferrari during those times in Stars Hallow. It was before we had a stop sign. In fact, any car in Stars Hallow was sort of a status symbol."

Lorelai shook her head, "Nope, it was Ferrari or nothing in Hartford."

"You grew up in Hartford?"

Lorelai shrugged, "Give or take. I lived there until I was sixteen, then I moved out here."

Rachel paused, "Oh, then you would have been around the same time that I was in Stars Hallow High," she furrowed her brow, "I really don't remember you at all from school. Is that bad?" She winced slightly, "I would feel so terrible if we were like lab partners or something and I didn't remember you. God, this is why I have decided to boycott any class reunions our class plans on having."

"I never went to Stars Hallow High, and I don't think we ever met, so you're good on the class reunions thing," Lorelai forced a chuckle, "And I really didn't meet anyone outside of the inn workers until my daughter started kindergarten, and that's only because she became friends with Lane, which meant that I made daily trips to the Kim household to rescue my child from the evils of Tofu Surprise, a Mrs. Kim snack specialty."

Rachel took another sip of her coffee, "You have a daughter?" She asked in surprise, "I would have never guessed, not to say that you seem like are a bad mother or something terrible like that, I just mean, you don't look like mom."

Luke intervened before Lorelai could respond, "Lorelai had Rory when she was younger."

"Rory? That's a cute name."

"It's her nickname, if you're really interested in some family history here. Lorelai is her actual name, but I figured it would be weird calling her Lorelai because I'm Lorelai, and it'd be really confusing and sort of a weird out of body experience in a sort of way, if you know what I mean!"

Mental head slap number two.

She hated coming off like such a bimbo. Rachel probably thought she didn't have a brain in her skull. Hell, Luke was probably comparing the two of them and thinking 'what the hell was I thinking' when it came down to Lorelai.

"So, Rachel, how long are you going to be in town?" Lorelai took another sip of her coffee. She just had to calm down. Focus less on being chipper and non-offensive.

Rachel shrugged, "Ah, I don't know actually. I mean, I didn't even know I was going to be in town." She looked over at Luke, "I hope it's okay that I dropped in. I mean, I hope I'm not imposing on you or anything."

Luke darted his eyes at Lorelai, "Oh, no, not at all."

Lorelai cocked her head slightly, "Imposing how?"

Rachel smiled brilliantly, "Oh, I'm staying with him. Minor problem with being a photographer, I don't have money to spend on hotel rooms."

Lorelai swore she felt fire come out of her ears.

Luke practically lunged for Lorelai's hand, and practically dragged her around the counter, "Hey, Lorelai, can you come upstairs for a second? You left your CD here the other day, and I've been meaning to return it to you, but every time I see you I forget, so now while I remember, I want to give it back to you."

"Umm," Lorelai mumbled out, mid-sip.

"We'll be just a second, sorry, Rachel," Luke said before pulling both him and Lorelai up the stairs and into the apartment.

"Take your time!" Rachel called back to them.

Not that Lorelai was really listening too well at that point. And Luke was probably too busy saying his last rites to really listen too intently either.

Lorelai marched straight up to the apartment, opened the door, dragged Luke inside, and slammed it in seemingly one motion. At least in her mind. It probably came off less graceful in real life. But that took rationality, which was something that she did not possess at that particular moment.

"Rachel's staying with me!" Luke announced as he closed the door to his apartment, "Surprise!" He offered weakly.

"Yeah, I kinda got that from downstairs when she said that she was staying with you."

"And?"

"She's staying with you!"

Luke shrugged, "She kinda surprised with me with it. And I couldn't send her packing to the Inn, I mean every other time she's stayed with me."

"Yeah, but every other time you haven't had a crazy jealous girlfriend to consider," Lorelai attempted to keep her voice down. She and the rest of Stars Hallow had listened to enough arguments between Luke and various people from down in the diner on enough occasions to realize that noise traveled very easily through his walls.

"Chris is staying with you."

"On my couch! In a house! With his daughter staying just feet away from him making it near to impossible for anything remotely dirty to happen!" Lorelai raised her voice slightly, "You, however, live in an office barely large enough for one person let alone two former lovers."

Luke raised an eyebrow, "Lovers?"

"Well," Lorelai shrugged, "That's what you are."

He blinked, "Okay."

"Is that an 'okay, Lorelai, I'll explain the situation to her and you can get her a room at the Independence Inn' kind of okay?"

"No, just an 'okay' to the idea of us being former lovers."

Lorelai raised up her hands, "Wait, like you and me us, or you and Rachel us."

"Me and Rachel us."

"Okay, good, just checking. Continue."

Luke sighed, "Look, there's nothing between me and Rachel anymore. All right?"

Lorelai sighed, "I know! And I trust you! And I shouldn't even be going this crazy because let's face it, it doesn't even make any sense, it's just the idea of it in my head makes me go a little coo-coo."

He looked at her, "You really think you where that sane before Rachel showed up?"

"Luke, I'm being serious here!"

"Sorry," he mumbled, "But I just don't see the problem here. I know I've said this before, but Chris is staying with you. Why can't Rachel stay with me?"

"I never said she couldn't stay with you!"

He blinked again, "Then what are we talking about?"

"The fact that I don't like the idea of her staying with you, but I'm not going to stop you or her, so I will expect proper compensation or for you to get a room at the Inn."

Luke smiled slightly and inched towards her, "What kind of compensation?"

She breathed out angrily, "I expect to be wined, and dined, and perhaps, otherwise detained." Now, that would have sounded sexy had she not still been a little on the insane jealously thing.

He continued to inch towards her, "You know, you went from pissed off to this in under a minute?" He pointed out, "I should have seen it coming."

"Yes, well, my ability to keep men on their toes is admirable." She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. They stood there for a moment in quiet, Lorelai attempting to regroup and gather a semblance of rational thought and Luke busy attempting to figure out how they went from arguing to hugging with an apology on his part.

"Now you swear nothing will happen between you and Rachel. Nothing at all?"

He sighed, "I thought you were past this. You know, with the whole compensation bit."

"I know, it's just,"

"Just what?"

She thought about confessing right there. He probably wouldn't even care. It wasn't like she said yes or anything. But instead of admitting the truth, she found herself blabbering on about how small his apartment was and what small spaces do to people, _Single White Female_ style.

All the while knowing that somehow, someway, the universe would find her commitment to the cowards way to come back and bite her in the ass.

* * *

**_Please Review.  
Updates up when I can get them up._**


	12. And the Drama Ensues

_Hey, this chapter got up in record time, eh?_

_First order of buisness, a quick apology. I didn't mean to come off as bitchy as I did in my short rant last chapter. But I am so glad that you did respond so nicely and didn't attack me for it, and were instead supportive. I didn't mean to take it out on you guys, because you know how much I love getting reviews and hearing how much people are enjoying my fic. And while it annoys me when people say "well it's been a month since you've updated", I should also be able to see it as a compliment that you guys are so invested that it annoys you when it takes me forever to update. _

_So, in short, I'll try to be more accepting and less bitchy (and depending on the time of year and stress level associated with that particular time it may be harder and you'll just have to forgive me), and you guys can just continue to read my fic and any other future projects that I put out here._

_Now, for responses to my many reviews!_

_**Cwyen69: **Actually, I did contemplate pulling an OC Seth and Summer announcing their relationship to their school moment, where Lorelai would stand up on the counter (much to Luke's dismay), pull him up there, and plant a big, sloppy one on him. But I've got some other tricks up my sleeve as well, so you'll just have to wait and see. But I did like the dinner idea, and I just might have to borrow that, if that's all right by you. I don't know when I'd fit it in, but maybe I'll use it for another story, giving you credit of course. Thanks for the review and congrats on the name._

_**ALLY: **I am feeling better, thank-you for the concern. It was just a bad couple of months there, but I'm back on track now. Thanks for the review._

_**ProFfeSsoR: **Hey, babe, it's been awhile since I've written you anything, hasn't it? Have you written anything new that I have yet to notice (I've been addicted to the HOUSE section recently, I go through phases). And, again, I couldn't resist having the drama. Let's face it, I can't just write a sheerly fluff piece because then it'll never end and then I'll get annoyed and/or bored and never finish it which I really hate doing. I've got like five FRIENDS fics that just really lost steam and I haven't exactly cared to update them. Thanks for the review, I hope this next installment will keep you hooked!_

_**RougeHoney: **Enter the storm. Thanks for the review._

_**LukenLorelaiFanatic: **Wow, you've had some time on your hands, haven't you? Well, I'm glad you find me funny (apparently my sense of humor translates well into GILMORE GIRLS fanfiction). Thanks for all of the reviews, I'm glad you enjoyed each and every chapter so much that you felt the need to review them all, recapping your favorite moments. And I don't mean that sarcastically, it really means a lot to me. _

_**Christi06: **But if I had Chris leave then where would the drama be? Perhaps I'll have him chased out of town with flaming torches at the end. Or a minor side-plot including tar and feathering for the events of the season six finale (I'm still not over that, BTW). lol. Thanks for the review._

_Thanks also go out to**: GregorySmithIsGorgeous22, Nubes, LukenLorelai4life, LLfreak8285, Leh2007, Bokayjunkie, LukeNLorelai637, Gilmoregrl519, Luke-n-LorelaiLuva6292, **and **LukenLorelai4ever**_

* * *

Rory needed to rant. Dean always listened to her rants. So she call him, and he came. And they sat in her living room, her ranting him listening. And she promised herself that she would not let anything slightly incriminating about her mom and Luke out, but somewhere in the middle of her full on rant, it came out. And as soon as she said the words 'my mom and Luke are dating', images of _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre _flashed before her eyes, but instead of ol' Leather-face, it was her mother toting the chainsaw of death.

It wasn't like she went out intending to spill the beans. It just kinda happened. But she could trust Dean. Dean was reliable. Like Old Yeller—without the rabies.

"So, you're telling me what your mom and Luke are dating?" Dean asked, "How'd that happen?"

"Accidentally."

He gave her a look, "Duh."

"And you can't tell anyone! I can't believe I told you! I just wanted to rant about my mom and my dad because they're acting like I can't handle their issues, whatever they may be, and here I go and spill the beans on my mom's newest relationship that she had me under direct instruction to keep quiet!"

"Rory, Rory, calm down," he half-laughed at her. She hated when he did that. It always pointed out the fact that her freak-out was entirely irrational, and she liked being rational. It was where she and her mother differed.

"You can't tell!"

"I got that," Dean smiled at her, "So your mom and Luke?"

She shushed him, "Would you stop saying it! Somebody might hear you!"

"Somebody who, Rory? We're sitting in your living room. Do you really think Babette installed listening devices in your living room?"

"Well I wouldn't put it past her."

"Now you're being paranoid."

"Well I should be! Mom trusted me with this! I was the only person that was supposed to know! And I couldn't even keep it a secret for more then two days! How awful is that?"

"Rory, it's no big deal. I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Not even my mother?"

"Not even your mother. She'll never have to know that I knew before the rest of the town knows. Which, might I add is quite ambitious, keeping it a secret from them."

"Well, you know, Mom. It's always go big or go home with that one? Remember when she tried to watch the entire trilogy of _The Never-ending Story_?"

He smiled and nodded, "Or how about the time she tired to eat one of everything from Al's, despite questionable expiration dates?"

"You weren't there for the aftermath, my friend. Not pretty."

"I bet."

Rory went to mention about the time Lorelai had decided that she was going to become the first ever person to sit through an entire double feature of _Gigli _and _Jersey Girl_ in a single setting, but was interrupted by the slamming of the front door and her father's subsequent yelling at finding Dean and Rory alone in a room. Apparently that was bad.

"Where's Lorelai, Rory?"

Rory shrugged, "Not here," she said, "Why?"

He pointed at Dean, "You," he practically growled, "Out."

Dean looked like a deer caught in headlights. He began to stutter something out in his defense, but Rory, being the blood related one, opted to jump in first.

"Dad," Rory tried to reason with him, "It's okay. Mom says it's okay. And I'm sure that when she gets here from wherever she is, she'll tell you, Dean and Rory are allowed to hang out together without parental supervision."

"Well isn't it convenient that she isn't here to clear that up for us, Rory," he continued to stare down Dean. He may have been in the stratosphere height wise, but send one raging father on him, and he turned shaky.

"Well, Dad, you can ask her when she gets here. She just went to talk to Sookie about something real quick. She probably just got distracted by cookies or something."

If there was ever a time for Mother-Daughter telepathic commutation, this it.

"I don't care, Rory," Christopher continued, "I want him out, all right. You can hate me all you want, but I don't like the fact that you two are here alone."

"But you're never alone in Stars Hallow!" Dean blurted out.

Rory willed her brain to send the message to her mom expressing the need for her presence and for her to bring her mask and cape, because it was becoming a dire situation.

Chris narrowed his eyes, "Out."

Dean began to stand up, but Rory grabbed the bottom hem of his shirt and pulled him back down, "No, Dad, this is perfectly legal under the Gilmore Household Rules."

If hearing Rory's mental pleas, Lorelai marched into the Gilmore House looking less then amused. This was 'don't mess with me' Lorelai. The perfect kind of Lorelai for such a situation.

"Mom!" Rory jumped off the floor and ran to her mother, leaving Dean to suffer the wrath of her father's less-than-loving, unblinking gaze.

"What's going on?" Lorelai asked, "Hey Dean, you okay there? Your skin color matches the couch color. I don't think that's good." She turned to Rory, "What? You watch _The Hills _again? _The Simple Life_? What, babe?"

"Dad," Rory pointed at Chris, "Found me and Dean alone."

Lorelai raised her eyebrows, "Alone alone, or just alone?"

"Just alone!"

"Oh," She walked over to Chris and batted him on the back, "Stop scaring him!"

"You let him and Rory hang out in the house _alone_?"

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah."

"After what happened," he made hand motions between himself and her. Apparently Rory and Dean's ears were too virginal for what the hand motions meant, but besides their lack of age in comparison, they could figure what the hand motions meant.

"Chris, I don't want to deal with this at this particular moment," Lorelai made out, "But we can continue this subject at a later date and I can tell you why Rory is allowed to have boys over when I am not here. Okay?"

"Lore, don't I have a say in this at all?"

"Not really."

"Come on, Lore!"

"Come on, what, Chris!" She shouted back at him, "When you are actually here daily, then you can make these kinds of decisions, all right? Until said point, I have full and unquestionable say in house rules, okay!"

Dean began motioning towards the back door, "I think I'm just gonna," he mumbled out, beginning to move again now that the wrath of the eye had moved elsewhere.

Lorelai shook her head, "No, Dean, you stay, all right." She looked over at Chris, "Look, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, but it's been a really crappy day and you deciding to become an overprotective father right now isn't helping."

"I just want to have some kind of say in how my daughter is raised."

"Well you if wanted that you should have stayed, all right? We're done. End of discussion." She then turned to Rory and Dean, "And Dean you're more then welcome over here, you know that, and Rory next time something like this happens call me, all right? I'll handle it."

Chris raised his eyebrows, "The next time?"

"Well I assume that this overprotective father thing isn't going to go away and if you want to be more involved, you're probably going to be over here more, so yeah, the next time would be implied."

Then Lorelai caught sight of an extremely pale Dean and a concerned slash pissed off looking Rory, rethought her plan of attack.

Before Chris could respond, Lorelai stopped him by pulling him by the shirttails and pulling him out the front door, "Sorry guys, we'll just finish this outside."

"You're leaving them alone!" Chris shouted again, attempting to protest against the pulling of the shirttails.

Lorelai just dug her nails in, "Yes, and Rory, you know where the condoms are, right?"

Now Rory's color matched Deans. Apparently making Trojan Man jokes was okay when they were alone, but in front of her boyfriend and near-mental-patient dad, it wasn't so funny.

"Lorelai!" Chris yelled as Lorelai pushed open the front door and led him out on to the porch, far away enough from Dean that he at least stood a chance of returning to normal color.

"What, Chris!"

He pulled her hands off his shirttails angrily, "What the hell is going on here? Why are you pulling me outside?"

"Because first of all I do not enjoy fighting in front of my daughter with her father and second, you were scaring Dean to within an inch of his life."

"I just want to make sure that my daughter is safe, is that so crazy of me!" He yelled angrily, "I don't like the fact that you allow her to have her boyfriend over to the house without supervision!"

"All right, I'll hire Mary Poppins next week. That way, her and Dean can go off to the magical cartoon land and dance with the penguins and have good, clean fun. Is that okay if she hangs out with cartoon penguins?"

"Would you just take this seriously for one minute! I really mean that! I don't like the fact that she has boys over to the house alone!"

"And until you are actually here on a daily basis, I get the finial say in how Rory is to be raised and what kind of rules and restrictions she has."

"I'm trying to be here! Didn't me proposing say anything to you about how much I want to be involved? Or do you think that's just something I do every day, just for kicks?"

"No, Chris, and I love the fact that you are trying to be around more for her, but you can't just be her dad for all intensive purposes yet. You haven't earned that job yet." She put her hand on his shoulder, "But you can get to know her, hang out with her, talk with her, whatever. But you can't just walk into her live and try to overrule me on anything. If I say it's okay for her to jump off a bridge, you'll just have to deal with it, okay?"

"Why is she jumping off a bridge?"

"Because somebody told her to do it."

He sighed, and put his hand on top of hers, "All right. Fine. But for the record I don't like her and Dean having alone time in the house."

"Well I'm perfectly okay with it."

"Can't I just hang around in the living room while they're in there?"

Lorelai raised her eyebrows, "Did you see Dean?"

He shrugged, "He did look a little uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable! Chris, the boy looked like he had just seen the Blair Witch. Not the movie, the actual witch. He was like the guy with the camera up his nose."

"So I take it the hanging around the living room with them is a bad idea?"

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah. In fact, I think you and Dean shouldn't see each other for a little while. With or without Rory. I don't see it boding well for Dean's health."

* * *

Babette rushed into Luke's as soon as she had heard the word 'proposal' uttered from Lorelai Gilmore's front porch. She had to tell Patty and Patty was usually at Luke's this time of day attempting to pick up some new dish.

But nothing could top a proposal from Rory's father to Rory's mother that was apparently turned down, much to Rory's father's dismay. It was like destroying the Kennedy's.

She pushed back the doors, and covered the annoying bell with a definite scream of, "Patty!" As she rushed in.

Rachel (she'd have to ask about her later, Patty would have the scoop on that) turned around, "Babette?" She smiled, "Babette? What's wrong?"

"Where's Patty, I've got major news for her, sweetheart."

Patty walked over to Babette, "What's going on, Babette? Is everything okay?"

Babette pushed past Rachel and bounded towards Patty, who was conveniently close to a rather annoyed looking Luke (probably checking up on the Rachel-issue), "I just heard!"

Patty's smile grew, "Heard what?"

"That Chris, you know, Rory's father?"

"Of course I know," Patty smiled, "I'd never miss such a good butt. Firm." She shook her head, "But that's a discussion for another time, what's going on with Rory's father?"

"He proposed to Lorelai!"

Patty gasped, "No! What'd she say?"

"Well no, apparently. Why is beyond me, but they were outside fighting and he just blurted it out!"

"What were they fighting about?"

"From what I can figure Rory had Dean over and they were alone, and apparently Chris didn't take too kindly to that, if you know what I mean."

"I wanna hear more about this, dear, but I've got gotta pay Luke real quick," Patty turned back to Luke who looked like he was about to crush the coffee pot he was holding his hand, "Luke, are you okay?"

"He doesn't look so good."

Rachel rushed over to him, "Luke? Are you okay? Let go of the coffee pot, Luke." She attempted to pry it from his hand, but to no avail.

"He proposed to Lorelai?" Luke made out through gritted teeth, "He proposed to her?"

Babette nodded, "Yeah."

"When?"

"I don't know, before today, apparently."

Luke set down his coffeepot angrily, "I'll be right back," he muttered out before stomping out of the diner, apron and all.

Babette turned to Patty, "Well this town has certainly gotten more interesting."

Patty shrugged, "Maybe they've just been holding back all these years."

"Apparently."

* * *

_And you thought that the last few chapters were full of drama. Oh, how the plot thickens. (enter evil laugh)._

**_Please Review.  
Updates up ASAP._**


	13. Just like Mount St Helen

_Suprise! Just in time for Christmas (or enter name of holiday you like to celebrate this time of year, I mean to exclude no religion, or lack there of), an update from the mysterious and elusive Anwa!_

_**A-Karana: **Yes, I am planning on finishing this particular story. There are a few that I might have...accidently...deleated the file too, but this one is here for the long haul. Whever that takes me. Thanks for the review. _

_**ProFfeSseR: **Sorry I haven't checked out your story yet, but I promise I'll head right on over there! I just haven't found time to surf the site all that much, just a little here and there. I miss it. Along with my life. I used to have one. It was kinda nice (from what I recall). It sounds really cute. Thanks for the review, babe. I don't hear from you much anymore!! (Probably because I don't really update much anymore...hack...hack)_

_**Muffin is Injured: **Allo, allo, dearest Muffin. Anwa means "truth" in elvish. I was going through a LOTR's fanfiction spree and I looked up a bunch of elvish and happened upon that late one eveing. And when they revamped the website so that no one could have the same name, I changed mine from Arwen (one that many shared) to Anwa. I figured that it was similar enough as to not cause too much confusion, but unquie enough that I wouldn't but stuck with a random number at the end of my penname. I really hate those numbers, it makes them sound like a screen name or something). Out of curiousity, how'd you come up with Muffin is Injured? _

_And, ho, ho, ho, I've amped up the Lorelai-Rachel tension via...(well you're have to read to find out! oh, the wickedness!). And you are very clever, indeed my friend, however, I shall not reveal my master plan (which I totally have...totally) to anyone. _

_SNAKES ON A PLANE. _

_How can I follow that up? There is no way. It speaks for itself. I mean it's brilliant. F-ing brilliant. You see, that's the thing about SNAKES ON A PLANE. It's not just SNAKES ON A PLANE. It's MOTHER F-ING SNAKES ON A PLANE. Hee. Hee. Oh, the intelligence of our generation. _

_And I love making Chris pissy. I have Chris. Espically this new verison of Chris they have going on now. All the niceties and stuff. It's weird. Really weird. Me no likey. I like Luke and Lorelai. (If you hadn't picked up on that quite yet...)_

_Random thought (as if to say that anything about this little reply isn't random), I seem to remember some comment about you heading across the pond recently...if so, did you have fun? (I haven't made it across the pond yet...so I must live viacariously through others on European matters). _

_Peace out. (And thanks for the review, they make my day...and not the Dirty Harry kind of sarcastic make my day, they actually make my day. I have a rather pathetic kind of life.)_

_**Gottalovethegilmores: **Thanks for the catch about the phrasing, gottalove, and for the review. Hope I don't dissapoint with this chapter! _

_**Java Lava: **Now try walking. It's fun to wobble about on asleep feet. Thanks for the review. _

_**Cywen69: **I'm only worth two dollars! Gosh, I'm at least a ten dollar whore! lol. Thanks for the reveiw. _

_Thank-you also go out to: **LukeandLorelaiR4ever1492, Spint914, Nelope, CripticWolf, Ally, Addicted2coffee, LukeNLorelai637, Lukenlorelai4life, Nubes, RougeHoney, GregorySmithIsGorgeous22, Mandeeangel, Coffeebean2007, LorLukealways, Luke-n-LorelaiLuva6292, Christi06, **and **Leh2007**. And too anyone else that I mgiht have forgotten (by complete accident, there's a lot of you reviewing!) Thanks as well. And just because I don't write you a cute little message doesn't mean I don't love and respect you guys...I just don't have enough time or cute little quips to give to all of you!!_

_So, without further ado...enjoy!_

* * *

Luke attempted to remain calm as he made his way over to the Gilmore household. But when he started to notice people crossing to the other side the street when they saw him coming, he sorta realized that he couldn't really suppress his anger that well. Maybe that's why Brad Pitt couldn't play him in the movie, Johnny Depp has much more experience in the anger department.

Besides, he shouldn't be angry. It could just be gossip. He could just be getting wrapped up in a vicious, vicious rumor. And that wasn't like him. He didn't get caught up in things. He just served the food, walked away, and pretended to loathe all things town-related. He didn't get involved in the rumor game.

But the fact still remained that something had transpired between Chris and Lorelai. Because while he doubted Babette's hearing range, he would never doubt her eyesight. The woman was like a walking billboard for healthy eyes after fifty.

And he couldn't honestly be jealous.

They had only been dating a short time. Sure there was the whole unrequited love thing to consider, but the actual dating part had just started. Really they had been out on one date. And you can't get jealous of another guy proposing to a girl you've been on one date with. Sure it was a hell of a memorable date, but it was still singular.

He marched up the stairs of the front porch and punched the doorbell without so much as a second thought to what he was going to say. He was running on pure adrenaline (which translated from guy speak means emotion, but adrenaline is so much more manly then emotion, therefore it was changed in a secret man meeting centuries before).

He knocked deliberately on the door. Not that the act of knocking on a door could be anything but deliberate, but there was something about this knock. It was more authoritative then other knocks. It had intent. It had meaning. It had a pissed off, caught up, Luke Danes on the other end.

Lorelai practically yanked the door off the frame and, in one swift motion, leaped into his arms and held on tight. Needless to say, Lorelai Gilmore always made an impression.

"Thank you for not being my parents, a ex something or another, someone I have somehow wronged, or that girl at the mall I once yelled at when I was pregnant because I thought she was calling me fat when really it was the person behind me who was really fat. Like elephant fat. I mean, I don't know how this person was up and walking kind of fat."

Luke forced a slight chuckle, "You okay?" He had to make sure she was okay before he could press the issue. No need to upset someone who was already upset. That was relationship murder-suicide.

She shook her head, "No."

He could feel her grip getting tighter on the back of his shirt, "Can you at least stop clawing my shirt. It's an old shirt, I don't know if it can withstand your nails for much longer."

Lorelai released him reluctantly, "Sorry," she blushed slightly, "I'm just so happy to see you," she got that glint in her eye. That glint that no doubt led to the creation of Rory. No man alive could resist that glint, "And if you step inside I can give you an even more proper greeting."

Luke raised his eyebrows, "How proper?"

She made a mock gasp, "Only been on one date kind of proper!" She scolded him playfully, "Why, Luke Danes, what kind of girl do you take me for?"

And as much as Luke wanted to press the matter of the kind of girl thing in the direction of another man proposing to her and her not mentioning it to the man that she is seeing, the glint sort of pushed him into taking another direction.

He inched closer to her, his nose brushing up against hers, "Well, you're the kind of girl who is secretly dating the lips of the local diner owner and thinks she can actually hide it from the town for more then one week."

He inched closer to her, his nose brushing up against hers, "Well, you're the kind of girl who is secretly dating the lips of the local diner owner and thinks she can actually hide it from the town for more then one week."

She grabbed his hands and stepped backwards into the house, "Hmm, now that just sounds plain crazy now doesn't it. That can't be me," she pulled him into the house with her. "I'm far to rational to secretly date the lips of the local diner owner."

He shrugged, closing the door behind them and leaving them completely hidden from the view of Babette's porch. "I must be thinking about my other secret girlfriend."

Without so much as a grunt in response, Lorelai closed the already ridiculously small gap between them and their lips met in another jealously inspiring kiss. Leaving Luke to mentally kick himself, however he didn't make any sort of move to end the kiss.

Kick, kick, kick.

* * *

A few hours later, and several more convincing kisses, Luke found himself outside swinging on the Gilmore's front porch swing, drinking a beer and clandestinely holding Lorelai's hand behind a sweater so that Babette wouldn't see.

The kicks were coming few and far between now. At least he was showing improvement.

He was just waiting for the right moment to slip in the fact that he had accidentally overheard Babette telling Miss Patty what she had accidentally overheard, and the ludicrousness of the preceding statement. Laugh, laugh, everything was okay, and they could continue on secretly dating each other's lips.

Or maybe something a bit more romantic-sounding then that.

"And this whole thing with Chris and him trying to be a bigger presence in Rory's life is starting to become this Godzilla like monster attacking at every single unpredictable moment. And I'm beginning to understand why their lips moved in those movies but no words came out. It wasn't because of subtitles, it was because they couldn't think of anything to say other then," she moved her lips rapidly, but remained silent, "Followed by hysterical, high-pitched screaming!"

"I take it, you're not the biggest fan."

She nodded, taking a sip of her beer, "And I know that's terrible, because he is Rory's father, but he can't just jump in a _be_ Rory's father in one day. I mean, you're more of a father to Rory then he is. If you found Rory and Dean alone and freaked out, I'd understand, I'd probably laugh, but I'd understand."

"Wait, you let Rory and Dean hang out _here_ lone?"

"Well, golly gee, Mr. Cleaver, the Beaver and I were trying to watch them, but then Eddie called us up and asked us to go and play baseball with him, and you know how Eddie is. So, of course me and the Beaver had to go, but Rory and Dean promised that they wouldn't do anything bad and un-1950s-like."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know, but I couldn't resist a _Leave it to Beaver _moment. They've been having marathons of it on TV Land. It's an addicting channel. But it's all about the balance. One more false move, and you may find yourself wearing a leather jacket and jumping over sharks while keeping your hair in perfect condition. However, I balance TV Land with steady injections of gritty CSI or Law and Order."

Luke shook his head. She had an uncanny habit of straying off topic with almost every word uttered. "He is Rory's father. He has a right to be upset. Just like I have a right to tear Dean's arms off."

She sighed, "I know," she paused, "At least about the Chris thing, I think you tearing Dean's arms off might be considered slightly illegal in some circles," she smiled slightly.

"I still reserve my right."

"And I'm really trying to make this all work out. I even sent him to go with Dean and Rory to get ice cream. Interaction. And the fear of God put into Dean."

"While I love the fear of God into Dean part of that plan, you can't just toss him a bone every once in awhile. He's Rory's Dad. He's always gonna be around and in your life," he hated it even as it said it. While he fancied himself a simple man with simple needs, he apparently liked his women complicated. And was an apparent masochist.

He learned new things about himself each and every day with Lorelai Gilmore.

Another sigh. "I know." She didn't try to fight it this time. He was getting through to her. And he wasn't sure if he liked that or not. He was kinda fighting for the other team at this point.

He suddenly wished he was better at the art of subtly changing the subject. Asking what he wanted to ask without the other person being aware of the bright light you were shining in their eyes. Because talking about Christopher, but not being able to what he actually wanted to talk about which pertained only slightly to Christopher was starting to drive him slowly insane.

"It's just hard," she admitted, "Really hard."

Luke nodded, but stayed silent. He had nothing to add that would be the least bit constructive. After a minute or two in complete and total silence, he opened his mouth, hoping to just blurt out the question, when the Gilmore circus started up again with the entrance of Rory and Dean followed by a very intense looking Christopher before the words could leave his apparently sought-after lips.

"Hey Mom!" Rory practically ran over to her mother in a panic. Her eyes were wide, and her expression said one thing, 'help'.

Kick, kick, kick.

"Hey, babe, good ice cream?"

Rory gave her a look. Lorelai didn't push. This mental communication between Lorelai and Rory had never ceased to amaze Luke.

"So, Luke," Chris walked over a little closer. Apparently he was going to receive the third degree.

"Christopher," Luke tried to sound as friendly as possible, "I heard you three when to go and get ice cream. That's nice. Ice cream."

_And_ awkward.

"Yeah, we did. Had a nice little chat with Dean, got to know him, y'know?"

Luke looked at Dean who was sort of a pasty white color and standing the furthest back on the front lawn. He wondered if this was a strategic move on his part or just an unconscious response to being cornered by the father of the girl he was currently dating and Luke who was sort of a father figure in Rory's life. And under normal circumstances he would have pitied the kid, but after having his girlfriend proposed to by another guy and not being told about it, and the strange urge to rip said kid's arms out, somehow stopped him a few feet short of pity.

"So," Lorelai stood up from the porch swing, "I'm feeling a little hungry. Anyone for poptarts? We just got some strawberry ones."

"I'd love some poptarts," Rory forced a smile, "But I think we're all out of poptarts. Dean would you like to go to the store with me to buy the poptarts?"

Dean's eyes practically lit up at the prospect of leaving, "Why, yes, Rory, I would love to go to the store with you to buy the poptarts."

Luke stood up from the porch swing, "I better be goin'. I shouldn't have left Caesar all alone like that, with the concussion and all."

"Oh yea, how's he doin' anyways?" Lorelai placed her hand on Luke's arm, "He gonna be okay?"

Luke nodded, "The doctors say he should make a full recovery," he attempted a small bit of humor. He was starting to think that Dean had the right idea standing by the exit. The Gilmores had a way of trapping you in awkward situations, "All right, I'll see ya around, Lorelai."

And if there was a way to kick himself as he walked off the porch, he would have done it. He chickened out. Again. And now he'd let things build and build until he exploded in a fashion similar to Mount St. Helen's.

* * *

Luke walked into his apartment. Rachel was already setting up the couch for her that night. Her things were scattered about his living room, photos here and there, clothes separated into two separate piles, he assumed one was dirty and one was clean. Rachel was a simple kind of girl. He always knew what Rachel was doing, sometimes the why alluded him, but he could grasp the general concept.

Rachel would never lie to him.

"You can take the bed, Rach, I'll take the couch."

She jumped a little. Apparently she hadn't heard him come in, "Oh, no, Luke. I'm already putting you out, and I'm the unexpected and uninvited guest. By all accounts I should get the couch."

He nodded, "Well, yea, but my mom always taught me that if there's a girl involved, she should get the bed and I should take the couch."

"You're mother taught you the politics of boy-girl sleepovers?"

He smiled faintly, "Maybe not sleepovers in it's usual adult terms, but yeah. She may have mentioned a few things along the way."

"But,"

"No, I'm taking the couch."

She sighed, "All right, but know that I go to the bed unwillingly."

"That sounds kind of dirty." It was Lorelai as soon as he said it. He knew it, and she knew that it was out of character for him. She got that kind of glint in her eye that told him that she knew. But she didn't ask. She never asked. And he liked that about her.

She knew his boundaries.

"So, what was the big emergency?" She asked, artfully changing the subject.

"Oh, I just had to talk to someone," he said, "Nothing important."

She smiled and furrowed her brow a little, "So the fireman routine was just for kicks. Keepin' everyone on their toes?"

"Pretty much."

"So nothing you want to talk about?"

"Nothing."

She paused and looked around the apartment, "Oh god, I made such a mess. I'll clean this up, Luke," she began moving around the apartment and picking up her various bits of clothing and such.

"No, no, it's all right, really, Rachel. I've got to go back down to the diner, anyways. You can take as long as you want, y'know, setting up shop."

"It's no problem, really."

"Whatever works best for you, Rachel. I won't be here to pass any sort of judgement. I won't know if you sing, dance, make a mess, or obsessively clean up here."

"I think you might notice if I cleaned."

"You never know, I can be pretty dense sometimes."

"You're anything but dense, Luke. You're selectively silent."

He smiled and nodded, "It's nice having you here, Rachel."

She smiled back at him, "It's really nice being here, Luke."

They paused for a moment. Looking at each other. Studying how each one had changed over the years. It was strange how certain people could come in and out of your life, and you never learned from the mistakes from the previous visit.

"Okay," Luke gave another little smile and nod and walked back down into the diner. He wasn't going to worry about Lorelai. Not now. He had Rachel. And Rachel was good. Lorelai was better, but Rachel was good.

And if he could trust Rachel to enter in and out of his life, then he could trust Lorelai enough to give her time to come to him.

* * *

**_Updates up ASAP.  
Please Review._**


	14. Bonnie and Clyde

_Allo. Allo. Anwa's back with another installment. And make this one last, cause god knows when the next one will be up._

_**ProFfeSseR: **Oh communication issues, a great little conflict helped along by a little dramatic irony. And the whole not updaing for long periods of time wouldn't bother me so much if people didn't remind me that I haven't updated in (enter peroid of time) every so often. Like it's inconvient to them that I haven't found time to focus on fanfiction and less on school work. Because clearly updating on is more important than graduating high school. And I understand that it also is a bit of a compliment because that means that people are really into this story, I just don't care to hear it. Anyways, thanks for the review._

_Thanks also go out to: **Aliciums8187, nelope, lukenlorelai4life, Luke-n-LorelaiLuva6269, mendeeangel, Rouge Honey, LukenLorelai637, LLfreak, cywen, **and **LorLukealways.**_

_**MUFFIN WHERE ARE YOU??? **(::runs around in a panic::) It's so boring without your little rants...please say that I have not lost you! Respond, dammit, respond! (Hee, hee, it's almost the breath, dammit, breath essential for any good medical drama, expect not). (You see what kind of humor I have surcomed (sp?) too!)_

_Enjoy._

* * *

Kirk knocked three times on Luke's door. He had learned his lesson about impersonating Tom Cruise. Only Tom Cruise would never sneak around a building and then accidentally witness two of his very close friends in a very compromising position and then have them yell at him and then have to keep quiet about it. In fact, Tom Cruise would probably be able to keep quiet about it. He _is_ secret agent Ethan Hunt after all. And Secret Agent Ethan Hunt is a secret agent, therefore making him a really good secret keeper.

Kirk repeated his three knocks. If Luke didn't answer this time, it meant that he was with Lorelai. Although, he really wasn't entirely sure of how Lorelai could be up there, cause he had been in the diner the entire time and hadn't seen Lorelai enter. He had seen Luke enter, so he knew that Luke was up there. And he was pretty sure that Rachel was up there with Luke, because he hadn't seen her since she went up there. But there was that five minute period where he went to the bathroom and Lorelai could have gone up and Rachel down in that small period of time.

Unless Lorelai didn't come and Luke was up in his apartment in a compromising position with Rachel! Now that _is_ something that Secret Agent Ethan Hunt played by Tom Cruise in three different and progressively worse movies.

Luke opened the door, "Kirk?" He asked and looked around the hallway, "You lost?"

Kirk maneuvered his way into Luke's apartment, "Well, Luke, I'm here to talk to you about,"

Rachel walked out from the bathroom, "Oh, hey, Kirk," she smiled.

"About you and Lorelai," Kirk finished as Luke's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

"Me and Lorelai?" Luke questioned, his voice edgy and threatening.

Kirk took a step back, "And how you're friends and nothing more," he finished quickly. "And I want to be friends and nothing more with a girl too, and I was wondering if you could maybe help me be friends and nothing more with a girl. Y'know, pointers. Guy to guy. Man to man."

Rachel gave an amused smile, "I'll go downstairs and let you men talk about your manly friendships," she said as she walked out of the apartment.

Kirk let out a sigh, "Oh thank god she's gone now, she almost found out about you and Lorelai and how you're not just friends and nothing else!"

"Yeah, imagine how she could have done that."

"I know," Kirk nodded, "Anyways, Luke, this whole secret thing,"

"Wait, wait, wait, I thought this was about a girl."

Kirk furrowed his brows together, thinking through Luke's words. Then, he let out a sight gasp and leaned discreetly forward, "Is Lorelai not a girl?" He whispered secretly. Like Secret Agent Ethan Hunt would.

"Yes, Lorelai's a girl! I thought this was about you liking a girl and wanting my advice about getting said girl!"

"Oh, no, that was just my cover. Slick, huh? Maybe too slick, seeing as how you actually believed it too, which could be a problem if we ever need to talk in code."

"In what instance would we ever need to speak in code, Kirk?"

"Besides just now?"

Luke stopped and took a deep breath. "Never mind, Kirk," he let out in his Luke's I'm annoyed with you voice. Kirk was very familiar with this voice.

"Going back to my original point, Luke, this whole keeping you and Lorelai's relationship a secret, it's not really workin' for me."

"What do you mean, Kirk?"

"I mean, I don't think I'm gonna be able to keep it a secret for very long."

"Kirk, we had a deal, remember? I give you free burgers in exchange for you keeping our secret?"

"Yeah, well, now that I've had some time to think through this, I don't really think I'm gonna be able to keep this a secret."

"Wait, wait, you haven't told anyone, have you, Kirk?"

Kirk started inching towards the door, "I might've accidentally let a little something slip to a minor, important person."

Luke inched towards Kirk, in that 'I'm gonna kill you' walk that Luke had perfected over the years. Suddenly the part of Kirk that was Tom Cruise seemed to leap from his body and make a mad dash for crazy town.

"Luke?"

Luke narrowed his eyes, "Kirk."

He attempted a smile, nothing would come expect a little puppy-sized yelp. He suddenly wished that the Tom Cruise part of him had stayed and his personality had taken off. It would be much easier to be Tom Cruise. Even the crazy Tom Cruise. Especially in situations like these.

"Who did you tell?"

"Oh, no one really."

"Who, Kirk!"

"Jackson! I told Jackson! All right! He took it right out of me! It was like I was Jean Calas and Jackson was the Parlement of Toulouse!"

Luke shook his head, "What are you talking about?"

Kirk took this moment of confusion and made a run for it. He probably should avoid Luke for the next couple of days. And Luke's food for the next couple of years. And Lorelai probably wasn't safe either. And seeing as how Lorelai was out, that would mean Rory and Sookie would be out, then Lane and Jackson by extension. Patty and Babette would probably be angry for awhile too that he had told Jackson and not one of them, so they probably weren't safe either.

Maybe he should just go on a trip. He was running after all. And that probably was for the best. Now he had the head start.

* * *

Lorelai was about ten seconds from a nap when a loud rapping on the door followed by a characteristic call by the one and only Miss Patty jarred her awake. This was not her day. 

"Lorelai!" Patty called again.

"Rory?" Lorelai grumbled, refusing to open her eyes. This is why she procreated. So that somebody could run interference for her when she was trying to nap.

"Lorelai?" More rapping.

No Rory. And she probably shouldn't send Chris on Patty. She'd never get him back. With a slightly whimper, she rolled lazily off the couch and onto her feet, then shuffled over to answer the door.

"Hey Babette, hey Patty, what's going on?" She rubbed her eyes, attempting to get them used to the light again before causing permanent blindness.

"Well, Lorelai," Patty had that smile. That smile that said 'I know something you're not telling me'. That smile that Lorelai had been trying to avoid for the whole twenty four hour period she had been secretly dating Luke's lips.

She tried to remain calm, "Yes, Patty?" Maybe she was just imaging the smile. Maybe she was dreaming this entire ordeal.

"Something you'd like to tell us, Lorelai?"

Shit. She knew.

"Something, Patty?" She attempted to pretend to be confused. Needless to say she wouldn't be wining that Oscar anytime soon.

Patty sighed, "Well, you know how this town is. Just chatter, chatter, chatter, and I happened to overhear some chatter at the diner,"

"Well you should never believe everything you hear, Patty."

"Oh, stop it, Lorelai! I know you and Luke are together! You shouldn't do this to an old lady. You never know when our hearts could give out, and would you want that on your conscience!"

"How is this gonna kill you, Patty?"

"You're lying to me and it's very frustrating. And frustration can be hard on the heart, so spill it."

Lorelai sighed, her brain working overtime to try to come up with anything that might stall and then ultimately distract Patty from continuing with this line of questioning.

Then a miracle happened.

Just as she opened her mouth to come clean, Luke appeared dragging a very scared looking Kirk by the shirt up her front lawn.

"Oh look, it's Luke and Kirk!" Lorelai smiled and pointed to them.

Patty turned, "Wha?"

Luke released Kirk's shirt, "I believe Kirk has something he'd like to share with you all." Luke grumbled out, "Wouldn't you, Kirk?"

Kirk looked down at the ground, "I made up the story about Luke and Lorelai being a couple," he grumbled out.

"What was that, Kirk? I didn't quite hear you," Luke said.

Kirk looked back up, "I said I made the whole thing up about Luke and Lorelai being a couple."

Patty looked frantically from Lorelai back to Kirk and Luke, "What? You made that up! It's not true! Then, what? Why? Oh, there's never anything good to talk about anymore!"

Lorelai smirked, "No, sorry, Patty."

Luke elbowed Kirk.

"I'm sorry, Patty," Kirk grumbled on command, "I should never have lied to everyone about Luke and Lorelai being a couple."

Patty patted Kirk on the back as she walked back down the front walk, "Oh, it's all right, dear. It gave the town something to talk about for at least fifteen minutes."

Kirk shot Luke an angry glance. Luke just took a step closer.

"You know what, Patty, I think I'm gonna walk with you! We never talk anymore!"

"Kirk we just talked."

"Well, we should do this more often!"

Patty shrugged, "Come on, Kirk. I'll buy you a coffee." And with that, Kirk and Patty left, leaving Luke and Lorelai alone for the first time in a good couple of hours.

Lorelai looked around, then, once seeing that the coast was clear, ran up to Luke and wrapped her arms around him, planting a friendly kiss.

"Hey you," Lorelai grinned, "What's it been, an hour?"

"More like two."

"Well that's just crazy that we could have been apart for almost two whole hours."

"I don't know how you survived without my lips," Luke grinned.

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "I'm never gonna live that down, am I? You make one stupid comment."

"You think we should just tell everyone?"

Lorelai furrowed her brow, "Whatda mean?"

"Well this whole keeping it a secret thing, it's a lot of work. A lot of stressful work. I mean, I'm running around the diner, and Patty's always there, then there's Kirk who apparently wants out or something, but then I chased him over here, and Patty's over here talkin' to you,"

"Whoa, hold on there," Lorelai stopped him, "Do you seriously want to tell everyone?"

Luke sighed, "Yeah."

"How about at the town meeting tonight. That way we'll get the most amount of people at the safest location."

"Safest?"

"Yeah, cops attend those meetings, Luke. Cops mean safety."

"Unless they're chasing after you."

"Why would they be chasing after you?"

"Because you just stole some diamonds, or some old lady's purse, or you're a wanted felon and some guy just happens to spot your exact picture in a post office,"

"Is there something I should know about, Luke?"

"No, why?"

"Because you just listed a whole bunch of really good reasons why you would be being chased by a flock of police officers, and if you have some kind of Clyde past and want me to be your Bonnie, you should have probably told me up front."

"I don't have some kind of Clyde past, Lorelai."

"Just checking."

Luke shook his head, "Whatever, look, you doing anything tonight?"

"Besides confessing to an entire town that I've been lying to them for almost two days now, some of them even to their faces, then be mauled by the police, no."

Luke smiled and gave her a little peck on the cheek, "Bye, Lorelai."

* * *

**_Please Review.  
Updates up ASAP._**


	15. Just What are Exes For?

_Hey, look who's back. It's Anwa! She's still living, yes, but her desire to write fanfiction is slowly dying out (sorry folks). She has full intention of finishing her current stories (active ones that is, not so active ones don't stand so much of a chance of reciving an ending...), but again updates might take a little longer (if you haven't noticed) due to a sheer lack of motivation. Sure, she might appear on scence every once in a while, but I think the hey days of Anwa are over. But she'll write a better goodbye speech when the time comes in her profile. _

_Moving on._

_**ProFfeSseR: **It's always better late then never! Thanks again for another fab review, you know I always love hearing your thoughts, babe. I'm glad everyone is finding the humor in this quickie-romance and it's been a blast writing it so far. I can't wait to hear you're thoughts on this chapter, and never fear, there is always more kookie-ness to be had in Stars Hallow. Thanks for the review. _

_**LukeandLorelaiR4ever1492: **Well, I don't intend to confuse people, but I would still love to have someone googling my references! It wouldn't be true Gilmore Girls if you didn't have to google a little bit! Ha, ha, anyways, thanks for the review. I'm glad these references are flowing, it was and still is my intention in writing this. You have to keep true to the style always. _

_Thank-yous also go out to: **Luke-n-LorelaiLuva6292, Lukelorelailvr, Ggandothlover, Sarahb2007, LukeNLorelai637, LLfreak, GregorySmithisgorgeous, Java Lava, Vakan, Hallowgirl22, LoreLukealways, **and **RogueHoney. **I wish I could write notes to each and every one of you, but I just don't have the time or a quick enough internet connection to deal with loading all of that information. You guys are all fantastic, however. And you're support, comments, and criticims are both welcomed and loved. _

* * *

Luke sat in the gazebo watching as Stars Hallow ran around, him, in all its well-earned craziness. He loved this town. There was nothing like it. Anywhere. Maybe that's why he had felt so attracted to Lorelai in the first place. There was no one like her (excluding Rory). He fancied himself a rather unique individual, and he needed someone to match that uniqueness.

But he had never imagined that dating Lorelai Gilmore, even for two short days would be this impossibly complicated.

Sure, he knew that dating Lorelai would not be one of the easiest things in the world, but he felt like he was up to the challenge. He was Butch Danes after all (not that he would ever vocally own up to that particular nickname). If anyone were to tame the shrew, it should be a guy with the nickname of 'Butch'.

He felt a pair of hands rest on his shoulders. It wasn't Lorelai. She would have said something right away. She always said something.

Rachel leaned down closer to Luke, "Penny for your thoughts?" She teased, patting his shoulders and taking a seat next to him, "You look a little down in the dumps, Luke. What's up?"

"It's nothing," he mumbled out, "Just taking a break that's all. The diner's pretty hectic today, what with Caesar falling and hitting his head and all, and then you showing up, and then Kirk, well, being Kirk."

Rachel smiled, "I remember. But this is nothing new to Stars Hallow. I expect those kinds of events out of Stars Hallow. It wouldn't be a proper visit without some crazy."

Luke's smile dropped a little, but he covered it well with a gruff cough, "So, you really are just visiting?"

"I don't think I'm wanted this time," she said simply, "I think you've already got you're plate full."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, I'm not stupid. You and Lorelai and you're weird we look and act like we're dating but we're not dating or so we say relationship. Adding me in as a potential roommate only complicates things more, and let's face it, if it's a complicated sentence to say, it's probably a pretty damn convoluted situation in actuality."

Luke nodded, "It is Stars Hallow."

Rachel smiled and nodded, "Yes it is," she turned to face Luke, "So, are you going to own up to being in a relationship with Lorelai or what?"

Luke forced a laugh, "What?"

"Oh come on, Luke, what's a little relationship gossip between old high school sweethearts!"

"How do I know that Patty doesn't have you wired or something?"

She cocked an eyebrow mysteriously, "Guess you'll just have to trust me," her grin widened, "Or strip search me, which might turn out bad if you are actually dating Lorelai."

"Rachel."

"Luke."

"Seriously?"

"Come on, I'm here, I've got a pair of ears, and you have a lot on your mind!"

"Oh, you have two ears? I thought you only had one. And with that kind of reasoning," Luke deadpanned.

Rachel cut him off before he could finish, "I'm just saying, Luke. You tend to keep things bottled in. Sometimes it's better to talk things out."

He stared at his feet like they had just sprung wings. Sometimes it was best not to make eye contact. She could make anyone talk with one bat of an eyelash. Lorelai could get him in half that time.

She sighed dramatically. She was giving up. But not before one not so subtle hint of "advice" (or what she considered to be the right thing to do without knowing all of the information), "Luke, whatever you and Lorelai are to each other, just remember not to shut her out. You always did it to me, and look what happened to us. I mean we're sitting in the middle of the gazebo, with no one around and you can't even manage to put together more then a few complete sentences. And you and Lorelai are better for each other then we ever were."

Luke looked back at her, "So what are you saying?"

Rachel leaned in closely, like she was sharing the secret of the universe, "I'm saying," she paused for dramatic effect (he could _sure _pick 'em), "Talk to her. No woman wants to have a relationship with a guy who chooses to be a grunting mute when they could be a charming, plaid-wearing, talking boyfriend."

He shuffled his feet, dragging them slowly across the wooden planks, as if to mull over what she was saying. Like it would take him a second to realize just what, or rather whom, she was talking about. He hadn't exactly owned up to the girlfriend part yet.

After a sufficient amount of time he mumbled out softly, so that no one besides Rachel would possibly hear him because it never hurt to be extra cautious about things of this nature in Stars Hallow, "About what?"

She smiled and leaned back to a comfortable friendly distance and gave a little chuckle, as if the answer were _so _obvious. He hated when people did that. If it was _so _incredibly obvious, he wouldn't be sitting out in a damn gazebo having a Winnie the Pooh pondering session on it, now would he?

She smiled brightly at him, "To whatever it is that is making you sit out here on this bench with me and not making out with her!"

Luke smiled a little bit, and shifted his eyes back down, "Thanks, Rachel." Perhaps it was a little obvious. But he was a guy, after all. He wasn't genetically set up for things like this.

She gave him a friendly punch in the shoulder, "What are ex-girlfriends for?" She gave him another hardy smile, "Now, go chat her up, Tiger! Then give her a big wet one!"

Luke chuckled a little bit, "You got it, Rachel." He stood back up and made his way back towards Lorelai's house, hoping to whatever God or Goddess would listen (he wouldn't rule out any religion, just to cover all of his bases) that she would be in there alone, all the while knowing that this would be a near-to-impossible feat.

Yep. Now he was sure of it. Lorelai Gilmore would be the end of him.

* * *

Chris and Lorelai had always been friends. They would always be friends. Even if one had repressed feelings for the other while the other had a boyfriend (albeit a two-day boyfriend, but a boyfriend nonetheless), they would continue their friendship. Because they shared a bond unlike any other people in their graduating class. They had had a kid together at the ripe old age of sixteen. And that bonds two people together whether they like it or not.

So, it didn't seem like a big deal to Lorelai Gilmore that Chris would come into town. And even after turning down his proposal, yelling at him for attempting to interfere too much in their daughter's life without proper merit, and attempting to lie to him about her new beau, it wasn't strange for her to sit down on the porch swing and enjoy a few beers with her lifelong friend.

Because they would always be connected. And for Rory's sake, Lorelai was willing to make things work, no matter how awkward. Because Rory deserved to have her actual father somewhat involved in her life, and Chris deserved to have the chance to be involved in Rory's life. So, she just had to be a big girl and not let things types of things bother her.

So when Chris offered her a beer that night, she hadn't thought twice about it. He took a seat next to her, and she pushed the swing back and forth slowly with her foot. And they talked. These events didn't even phase her anymore. It was just what they did.

"So, Dean, huh?" Chris mumbled out at some point in the conversation.

Lorelai smiled back at him, "Dean." She repeated, "Rory likes him."

"And he likes Rory," he sighed, "God, when did she get so old!"

"I know. It happens fast."

"It happened faster for me then it did for you. I just stop by every so often. And every time I stop by she's getting bigger and bigger."

Lorelai gave him a bit of a look, "She's done growing you know, right? She's been done with that for about five years now."

Chris rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean. Not only getting bigger size wise, but she's growing up in a maturity sense."

"She's a hell of a lot more mature then we ever were."

Chris smiled mischievously, "Well, were maybe for me. That might require more of a present tense verb for you."

"You're a funny one."

He chuckled slightly a took a swig of his beer, "So, you and the guy from the Diner. How'd that happen?"

"Oh, y'know, we were picking out paint samples and one thing lead to another."

Chris laughed, "No, seriously, what happened?"

"That's seriously what happened."

"No, you don't make-out over paint samples."

Lorelai shrugged, "We did. Y'know, finding the right color for your diner can be a very romantic process. Especially when you're on the floor trying to hide from Taylor Doose."

"Well nothing brings a couple closer together then delinquency and paint samples."

Lorelai smiled softly. She turned and faced Chris, "So you're really okay with this. With me and Luke, I mean," she asked in a serious tone. They had a tendency to make everything into a joke. That was probably how they made everything okay enough to keep their friendship going, despite everything.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You proposed to me yesterday, Chris. That doesn't exactly say, 'sure, go date someone else' does it?"

Chris shrugged, "Yeah, well, what can you do?"

"Well perhaps try to have a conversation with the guy next time he's over and you walk in. I mean, seriously, I have never in my life felt so incredibly uncomfortable!"

"Ah, come on, it wasn't that awkward."

"It was like preteen awkward. No, worse then preteen awkward. It was like gawky thirteen year old boy with bad acne and terrible voice cracks kind of awkward."

"You're saying that my moment with Luke was equivalent to a thirteen year old boy's experience with puberty?"

Lorelai paused in mock-thought for a moment, "Yes."

Chris let out a short laugh, "Fine, if you thought it was that awkward,"

"Oh, not just me," Lorelai interjected, "Rory felt it too. In fact, I'm sure the entire eastern seaboard felt the awkwardness. Maybe even some people in Japan."

"Whatever, if everyone in the entire world felt that this moment was so incredibly awkward, I'll try a little harder next time to not make it so awkward."

"Yeah, and how are you gonna do that?"

"Alcohol."

"Ooh, alcohol always makes everything less awkward."

"I know."

There was a soft, attention getting cough from in front of them. Lorelai looked up to see Luke standing there, looking rather uncomfortable.

"Luke?" She said, surprised, "Hey, is it time for the town meeting all ready?"

Luke shook his head, "No, no, just wanted to stop by. Just in case you had changed your mind or something. But I see you're busy, so I'm just gonna go."

"Wait," Chris interjected much to Lorelai and Luke's surprise, "We haven't really gotten a chance to know each other quite yet have we, Luke?"

Luke looked a little suspicious of what Chris was saying, "Yeah," he said simply, arching an eyebrow just like Kevin Arnold would.

"Well, I was thinking that we could go down to the bar, grab a few drinks, y'know, get to talking. Man to man," he looked at Lorelai with a small 'told you so' grin then back to Luke, "Whatda think?"

Luke looked at Lorelai, who had the same bewildered expression on her face as he did on his, "Well," Luke said, looking for a response

Chris chuckled slightly, "It's not _The Price is Right_, Luke. There isn't a studio audience about to yell out the answer here."

Luke forced a laugh, Lorelai inwardly cringed. It would be a very awkward evening. The thirteen year old boy would have nothing on this evening if it took place. Lorelai slightly rooted for Luke to find an excuse not to go.

But instead Luke blurted, "Sure, why not."

Lorelai attempted to keep her smile. This could not end well. Alcohol and exes with new boyfriends never ended well. Not that she had experience in that particular area, because it wasn't something that happened a whole lot (at least she assumed), but it just didn't seem like a good situation.

But before she could say anything, Chris and Luke were already saying their good-byes and talking bars, however the awkwardness still hung in the area like a looming death trap.

Oh boy.

* * *

**_Updates up soon.  
Please Review. _**


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